Lenobia's StoryAfter the Blight
by Taysia-Lenobia
Summary: A mage has been made a hero, Ferelden unites under Alistair. But what becomes of Lenobia and those who fought with her? Can she live with her lonliness and heartbreak? Will she be able to unite Ferelden against a new Blight, one like never before?
1. Chapter 1

Pronunciation guide: (in order of appearance)

**Lenobia: **Lehn-Oh-Bee-Ah

**Ashrylen: **Ash-Rie-Len

**Elora: **Ell-Or-Ah

**Alaysia: **Ah-lay-she-ah

**Ayelane: **A-Lane

**Dezrina: **Dez-Ree-Nah

**Shiri: **Sheer-EE

**Zazikel: **Zah-Zee-Kell

**Razikale: **Rah-Zee-Kale

**Fagan: **Fay-Gan

Chapter 1

"Hhmmmm" I sighed aloud as I lay in the indented grass where camp had been made what seemed like so long ago. I pulled my single rose out of my pack and lay it right beneath my nose. I took the scent in, it smelled unlike any rose I had smelled before, like a mixture of roses and Andraste's Grace and, the best smell about it, it smelled like him. I smiled at the familiar smells…remembering. However, as always my remembrance of him left me with tears rolling down my cheeks. Why? Why must I miss him so? I should have known I would lose him just like I have lost everything else in my lifetime ever since I was a small child, just 5 years old growing up outside of our capital.

"_Ha ha ha ha! You'll never catch me!" Ashrylen teased. _

"_I will too!" I called after her. "I can run really fast" I sped up and touched her. "Tag your it!"_

"_Ow!" She cried out "what was that for Lenobia? Its just tag you didn't have to pinch me!" _

"_I didn't pinch you Lenny!" I said defensively but calling her by our shared nickname to soothe the words._

"_Yes you did! It felt like a zap! Lenny, its fine, I'll be it just don't do it again!"_

"_Okay, okay…GO!" I said and took off. She tagged me, I whipped around to tag her, and when I did, something flew at her._

"_Ow" she started sobbing "Lenobia what did you throw at me?"_

"_Nothing Ashrylen, really I didn't mean too." I said perplexed._

"_I'm just gunna go home now, bye." and she left._

_After watching Ashrylen, run home crying I ran through the tall grass in our yard and into the house with tears running down my face. I ran right into my mothers arms. _

"_Lenny what's wrong sweetie?" My mother cooed as she stroked my hair._

"_Ashrylen is not my friend anymore I threw something at her."_

"_Well why would you do a thing like that?" My mother pulled me back to look at my tear stained face._

"_I didn't mean too I zapped her when I tagged her and then I twirled around and my arms were out and I felt something leave my hands and it was blue and it flew right at her and hurt her bad" I started crying harder then._

"_Okay well-" The door opened and my father was home smiling until he saw this scene: me crying and my mother who had the most worried and frightened expression I had ever seen on her face._

"_What's wrong?" My father said in his gruff authoritve but still calming voice. I ran to him as he knelt down and I wrapped my arms around his neck my hands in his grey brown hair and my face in his fuzzy beard. "Sheyenne, what's the matter?" My father said to my mother._

"_Oh Ted, She has…She Might be…we need to talk." My mother said starting to cry. I tore away from father then and jumped defensively into the middle of the two._

"_What's wrong? What is it? Why are you sad? Is Ashrylen going to die!" I screamed._

_My mother picked me up in her arms "No sweetie lets get you into bed Ashrylen is going to be fine, Its just- well mommy needs to talk to Daddy about how his market went today and how the crops are doing, because you know a farmers work is never done." She smiled at me then, carried me into my room, and lay me down on my bed. They both kissed me goodnight and went into their bedroom, which was across the house from mine. _

_But I could still hear them perfectly because we had such a small house, most of our land was used for farming and our house was an odd little shape. The living room was in the front and on the right side of the living room was my bedroom and on the left side was my parent's room. If you went straight through the living room, you would come to the kitchen and the back door, which led to our little farm. Our house was so small I could hear my parents whispering almost perfectly._

"_Ted she hit Ashrylen with an….and then….lightning…she could be…" My mom said urgently._

"_Yes you are probably right. I guess that means that she is…."_

"_Do we have to take her there? Couldn't we keep her here?" My mother pleaded_

"_But look at all the damage she has started to do what if she….and then….from the… I can't let that happen….no demons!"_

"_Ted think about this maybe we could find a runaway….then she could learn about her powers and….then nothing bad happens."_

"_Sheyenne" My father said sternly "be rational dear we have to take her there she will be in good hands."_

"_NO! NO! Not MY BABY GIRL! NO!" her pleading screaming sobs became more silent and muffled. And slowly I drifted off asleep dreaming of far away places, lightning bolts and demons._

"_Sweetie get dressed" My mother said handing me clothes while I woke up._

"_Why? Where are we going?" I asked_

"_We are taking you somewhere." My mother answered sadly._

"_You sound sad are we moving?"_

_My father appeared in the doorway "__**WE **__aren't moving."_

"_We have a lot to tell you Lenobia." My mother said breaking into tears once more._

"Agh!" I said aloud to myself as the sun blinded me. I sat up. "I shouldn't lay with my eyes closed so long next time." I should stop talking to myself aloud someone might think me to be a loon. But no, no they would not, not after everything I have done for this country. I stood up and looked around the empty space I could still see all the indents from a camp in the grass, saw the fire pit, and saw where the tents were. For a moment, I thought I was back there again and everything that had happened was a dream, until I looked over to where he should have been standing and he was not there. And in my imagination, the whole camp once again swept away to nothing but indentations in the grass. I walked over to where I had spent so much of my own time talking to him. Everything of his was gone even the indentations were fainter it seemed, almost invisible, like he never existed, only in my thoughts and dreams.

But I know he is still real I can feel it here. I clutched my hand to my chest right over my heart. I can feel the damage done, the open wounds, the scars that will burn there like raging fire until the day I die.

"Lenobia?" Someone said from the shadows interrupting my thoughts. I pulled my weapon and prepared myself for a fight.

"Who goes?"

"Uh please don't draw your weapon; you probably won't remember me but…"

Of course I probably would not remember them after everything I did I had random people ask me if I remember them on the street because they said a sentence to me during one of my quests. I tried to remember everyone but in truth I only remember the ones I truly came to know and the elves, the dwarves, and the people in Redcliffe and of them only the ones whose names I learned.

"Fine Come out whoever you are." I said putting away my Winters breath staff, regaining the icy feeling on my back, that has become all to familiar to me.

A small male stepped out from behind the bushes followed by another small male and instantly a smile broke out on my face. "My goodness! How could I not have recognized you two?" I said with a smile beaming I felt a happiness I haven't felt in a long time. I ran up to them and hugged them.

"Whoa there miss you didn't miss us too much now did ya?"

"Hi there" the younger one said.

"Hi! Wow I did not expect to run into anyone that camped with me!"

"Ah we didn't expect to see you here either missy! We were just wonderin around to see what we could find, ever since word got out we camped with the famous Grey Warden and Mage Lenobia and the witch of the wilds and the newly crowned king, we been the busiest market men in all of Ferelden, we have. I bet all of Orzamar is sad to have called us thieves now!"

"Oh I bet so" I replied "Oh I've missed you so much Bodahn and you too Sandal!"

"Enchantment?" Sandal asked.

"No not today, but thank you. SO you two have been busy huh?"

"Yes sir, we just came back here for some reminiscing of sorts and what luck would have it that we'd find you here. So how are the others?"

I sighed. "The others." I paused for a moment. "I have not heard from any of them, I expected it of one."

"The girl who made her camp pretty far from yours?"

"Yes, Morrigan. The rest went their separate ways, I know where one is, but the other 3 I've no clue where they are."

"Ah yes the girl, the dwarf, and the elf. And of course you know where the last of the party is."

"yes everyone knows where the king is." I said sadly wishing I did not know where the king was.

"What about dog?" Sandal asked.

"Oh my Mabari, D-O-G is with First Enchanter Irving helping around the Tower."

"I like Dog!" Sandal exclaimed.

"Yes we know boy," Bodahn said with a chuckle." So you've been traveling all by your lonesome?"

"Ha! Kind of, not like I'm ever alone you know me being famous and all." Thunder crashed then.

"Oh well missy hate to cut this short but it looks like rain and Sandal is scared of thunder." He looked at his son and then whispered to me "He will look a man with a weapon in the eye, not run from darkspawn, but boy when it comes to thunder."

"Thunders scary!"

"Yes, yes I know Sandal, say good bye to Lenobia."

"Bye!"

And they were off. And I was alone. Again. With 29 years, left to live filled with pain and loneliness because not all the friends in the world could make me feel happy or fulfilled again. It started to rain then and I sat in it crying, alone, not caring if anyone found me ever again, because I may be remembered, and in everyone's thoughts, but I'm still forgotten by the ones I need most.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I fell asleep there in the pouring rain, right where _he_ always stood by the fire, right where we had our first kiss. I touched my lips remembering all the times we shared, remembering most of all our first kiss. How he called me beautiful afterwards, maker I love him and I can't have him. It so fit's the theme of my life, everything I love gets taken away from me and I am always doomed to live a life of loneliness.

"Oh Maker!" I shouted to the pale grey sky, the rain misting on my face. "Why am I doomed to a life of loneliness, why is it when I find my home, a family, a place where I am accepted you always take it away from me? Why?" I shouted angrily to the sky, knowing it would do no good the maker had no time for me, he was probably to busy basking in the glory of everyone's prayers of thanks sent to him. Perhaps the only reason for my life was to have the maker regain his followers. Well then why should I care any further about the maker?

I stood up and I was all covered in mud. But I don't care. If I have no path then I will not follow one I will just walk until I…well until I run into someone or somewhere and then I will stay there and then continue my pointless roaming again. Maybe if I am lucky my feet will lead me to Orzamar so I can die and get it over with.

I slung my pack over my shoulders and headed out of this camp, not looking back.

"_Mother, Father Where are we going I got dressed I ate my food and now you're taking me somewhere would you just tell me already?" I looked at them looking worriedly at each other and I got frightened. "Wait! I am in my nice clothes and you look sad. Oh MAKER did I kill Ashrylen? I knew I hurt her but I- I-" I started to cry._

"_No sweetie you did not kill Ashrylen. Your Father and I do not know the best way to tell you this sweetie so we are going to get help to explain your…err, situation to you when we get there for now why don't you come lay your head in your mama's lap" She patted her lap, "and I will sing you your lullaby"_

_I moved across our little wagon that was being steered by my father riding our only horse, and lay my head in her lap, she ran her hands through my hair and sang our lullaby:_

_Pretty dreams, my baby, wait Just beyond the Slumber Gate;Come, dreams, Come to baby, come; _

_Come, dreams, Come to baby, come._

_Day is done and night is near,Off to sleep now, baby dear; _

_Come, dreams, Come to baby, come; _

_Come, dreams, Come to baby, come._

_Weary you must be with play,Running, running, all the day;_

_Come, dreams, Come to baby, come;Come, dreams, Come to baby, come._

_Now it's time for you to sleep,Hush now, baby, not a peep;Come, dreams, Come to baby, come;Come, dreams, Come to baby, and strong you're sure to grow,If to sleep you'll quickly go;Come, dreams, Come to baby, come;Come, dreams, Come to baby, come._

_I awoke then to the wagon stopping. I got up feeling very disoriented and stumbled off the wagon. I instantly woke up when I felt the cool breeze carrying the scent of water towards me. _

"_where are we? And what's that big tower?"_

"_We are at Lake Callenhad and that is The Magi Tower." My father answered. We walked down a hill and to the docks where a friendly old man smiled down at me._

"_A new apprentice?" he asked. My father nodded. "alright then hop in this boat" the old man said lifting me up into the boat. "Well hi there little lady." He said smiling at me. "We just got a few girls here and a few boys too, you're going to love it here." he said while rowing the boat._

"_What are the girls like?' I asked curious now of these new people I was going to meet._

"_Oh well they are nice but not as nice as you and not nearly as beautiful!" I giggled. He said "and they all have brown boring hair not pretty red hair like yours!"_

"_Thank you" I said laughing and feeling more at ease I leaned over to him and said "I'm not gunna know anyone here and I was wondering if you would be my new friend?" Then I leaned back away from him looking hopeful._

"_Why absolutely I would be honored to be your friend!_

_We reached land then and he lifted me out of the boat and I hugged him "Thank you for being my new friend" I grabbed my mom and dads hands and we walked into the tower together._

"_Hello. May I ask what business you have here?" A flat emotionless voice asked._

"_Our daughter is showing signs of being a mage." My father said. So I was a mage, a magic person._

"_Yes, normally we would direct you to Greagoir Night Commander of the Templar's but he is out on business, I will take you to First Enchanter Irving, Follow Me." He said in his emotionless voice. I wanted to ask him why he talked like that but I was too scared. He led us through a round maze where I saw all sorts of kids and people wandering around and up a flight of stairs and into an office at the end of the hall. The strange man left us there in a big office with a man with grey hair and a grey beard. _

"_Ah so this is the new apprentice." He knelt down. "And what might your name be?"_

"_I am Lenobia and I want some answers." I said demandingly. The first Enchanter chuckled._

"_Lenobia!" My Mother exclaimed._

"_Oh sorry and what's your name?" I said. The First Enchanter laughed._

"_I am Irving, child, and not many people get to call me by my first name but for you I will make an exception. Now what kind of Answers did you want young one?"_

"_Well Why am I a Magical person?" _

"_You are a Mage, child, and you are such because you were born with a magical substance called Lyrium running through your veins."_

"_Oh, Is that what makes them blue?"_

"_Well Everyone has blue veins, but yours are a bit bluer and more outstanding because of the Lyrium that flows through them."_

"_Hmm…okay And is my friend going to die?" The first enchanter looked at me with a puzzled expression then to my parents and asked "what happened to her friend?"_

"_Well," My father answered, "They were playing tag and she shot a ball of blue at her."_

"_Oh…OH!" The First Enchanter Exclaimed. "That is amazing! That is exceptional, she is already very powerful, and this was the first sign she showed?"_

"_Yes" My mother said her voice cracking._

"_well then she is already very powerful you did right to bring her here right away!"_

"_Irving!" I said irritated "Is Ashrylen going to die or not?"_

"_No child you probably barely hurt her at all. Now we must get you settled in your room."_

"_First Enchanter? Can we come to visit our daughter still?"_

"_Well we only let parents and siblings into the tower on the Childs birthday."_

"_Okay then I guess we shall leave you then." And my father kissed me and left. My mother hugged me and kissed me and whispered in my ear "I will miss you my sweet Lenny but remember every single year we will come visit you. Here take this, keep it close when you are afraid, look at it and remember us when you are sad and read the back when you can't wait another minute to see us." She kissed my cheek my fore head and the top of my hair and said "I love you Lenobia."_

"_I love you too mommy." And I watched her walk away tears streaming down her face. _

I ran smack into an old pillar, which woke me from my trance-like walk. I looked around and saw the all too familiar place.

"Of course my thoughts would lead me here." I said aloud.

But I'm not disappointed I'm faintly happy with remembrance of a simpler time. I walked down the hill to the only face I recognized.

"Hello." I said smiling.

"Ah hello. I didn't expect to see you here again."

"Well," I continued in a whisper "You're my old new friend I had to come back."

"we have some new people but none of them are as pretty as you, they all have boring brown hair not pretty red like yours." he chuckled and I laughed as he helped me into the boat once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Well thank you for the boat ride."

"No problem." He said and started to get back in the boat. And I realized I didn't even know his name.

"hey," I said and he looked back. I don't want to know his name I like it better that way and Hopefully he doesn't know my name either. "Thanks for being my friend" He smiled and nodded and was off back to the docks. It must be so lonely just standing there to ferry people across the lake. That must be why we are good friends because we both share the loneliness.

I pushed open the large tower doors and instantly everything stopped as people gawked at me. I tried to ignore the attention as I made my way to Irving's office.

He saw me and stood up instantly and I shut the door behind me. When he saw it was shut he ran towards me and wrapped me in a hug which I gratefully returned.

"Lenobia!"

"Irving!" I pulled back and gave him one more quick hug.

"Oh I have missed you Lenobia!"

"I missed you too Irving! How have things been with you?"

"Ah I am less busy now that the tower is back into working order and we are receiving recruits again." He leaned closer and whispered "and that there are less templar's around." We both laughed then.

"Yes, I am sure that is a relief." I replied. I remembered how the templar's watched everything.

"Speaking of templar's…" Irving said moving back to his desk. "I know one that will be particularly excited to see your back."

"Really?" I asked curious now to hear about a templar excited to see a mage.

"yes, he was quite sad the last time you came and he didn't get to see you."

"Oh? And do I know this templar well?" I asked thinking of one particular templar.

"He was stationed here around the time of your eighth birthday."

"Ah, well Irving, enough of this love talk"

"But it is my job as your care taker, my _**daughter**_!"

I laughed "Well then _**Dad **_I am going to run away from this lecture and for doing so as punishment I will send myself to my room!" I said laughing as I dashed out the door and down the circular hall to my room. I lay on my bed thinking about how Irving and I became so close.

"_Some ones here to see you Lenobia." Irving said._

"_Okay! Bye Jowan, Elise, and Petra! Thanks for the birthday party!" I said cheerfully._

"_Happy 6__th__ birthday!" they all cheered and Jowan gave me a hug and I followed Irving into his office. What waited there for me was expected but still completely shocking!_

"_MOTHER! FATHER! YOU CAME!" I shouted running into their waiting arms._

_My mother kissed my hair "of course we came! We couldn't miss your birthday!"_

"_And we brought presents!" My father said pulling two items from the First Enchanters desk. "we bought you this one first and then thought it might not be allowed so we bought you the second one."_

"_But the First Enchanter assured us it was okay for us to buy you this." My mother said handing me some cloth. I unfolded it and it was a pretty robe belt made just for a mage, it was prettier than any belt I had ever seen!_

"_Oh thank you thank you thank you! This will make my robe so much prettier I Love it!" I shouted with joy giving them both hugs._

"_And here is your second one." My father said handing me what looked like a small book, I opened it and the pages were blank._

"_it's a diary we thought every six year old should have one, to talk about friends and," My mother paused and put a sly smile on her face and stage whispered "Boys." We all laughed and we ate cake my mother had brought me and had a great time telling each other stories of what had happened over the last year. Then they had to leave and I said my goodbyes and watched them leave me again. The first enchanter walked me to the apprentice dorm wished me a happy birthday and left._

_The next year I was turning seven and Jowan, Elise, and Petra were throwing me my seventh birthday by each giving me a present. Elise gave me a necklace and Petra gave me a bracelet. Jowan was my best friend and he gave me a picture he made of us. He was a very talented artist, he drew my head down to my shoulders, and his too with our arms around each other and across it said Best Friends! I was so happy. Then Irving came and got me to go to his office, I walked in and saw only my mother._

"_Mother? Where is Father?"_

"_He had a trade market to go to that he could not miss; if he did he would have lost a lot of money."_

"_Oh I understand"_

"_So I couldn't bring a cake but I did bring you a very special gift this time." She said as a smile crept across her face._

"_Oooh! Let me see!" She pulled out a ring. "Oh its beautiful! Thank you!" I said giving her a hug._

"_Now this ring is very special do you know why?"_

"_Um…no." I said studying the ring._

"_Look inside it." My mother said smiling brightly._

_I Looked on the inside and inscribed in it was "We love you Lenny, We always will." My eyes started to well up with tears as I hugged her "Thank you mom Thank you so much!"_

"_Your welcome Lenny, I love you, your Father and I both Love you," She hugged me tighter, "So so much"_

"_I love you too."_

_I showed her all my new jewelry and took her to my room to see the picture Jowan drew me and then she had to leave. I never took that ring off._

_A year later, it was my eighth birthday and Jowan and I celebrated since Elise and Petra were sick. We had fun and we sat by my bed as he taught me how to draw with the pencils and paper he gave to me for my birthday. Then like the years before Irving came and got me. I was so excited to see my parents again; I rushed into the office and stopped dead in my tracks when they weren't there. I looked up at Irving with tears in my eyes._

"_They have not showed up child, I had a templar look for them to be sure they were all right and he said they were at home…tending to a newborn child."_

"_Oh, well I guess they couldn't take a baby on a long trip to see me. Maybe next year." I said sadly and started to walk out of his office._

"_Lenobia?"_

"_Yes First enchanter?"_

"_Maybe Next year." He hurried me out then and I felt shut out. I went into my bed under the mattress and took the small painted picture my mother had given me when I first came here. Remembering when she said 'Here take this. Keep it close when you are afraid, look at it and remember us when you are sad and read the back when you can't wait another minute to see us.' I read the back 'Our little Lenny, you are so grown up now, we miss you and we can't wait to see you for your birthday!' We love you Lenobia and we always will.' _

"_No you don't" I said to myself and I ripped up the picture and threw it away._

_I gave my belt to Petra and Elise to share and I lay on my bed and cry until the First Enchanter came in and said "Come with me child." He took me to his office. _

_He had his back turned to me digging for something and I took my ring off and stuck it right between the books 'The History of the Chantry' and 'The History of the Circle of Magi'. Then turned back around willing myself to forget the ring and my parents all together._

"_Ah Here we are." He handed me a box shaped item with paper around it. "Well go on and open it!" I did as I was told and it was a beautiful box. It was wooden and the size of a hand. It had flowers carved around the top and bottom and on the top a large flower was carved in. All the flowers around the top and bottom were painted white and pink with green vines connecting them. But the Flower on top was painted purple, My favorite color. And when I opened the box, It was wooden with three compartments._

"_A jewelry box?" I asked_

"_Yes you seem to always have jewelry and no where to put it I thought it would be perfect for you."_

"_Oh it is! Thank you so much! Did you do this yourself?"_

"_I only painted it."_

"_Oh Irving its amazing!" I exclaimed giving him a hug. I started to cry then. And he held me there until the tears were gone._

"_Okay lets get you off to bed then." He said and took me to my bed and tucked me in since the other apprentice's were all asleep. "Happy eighth birthday Lenobia" He whispered and started to leave._

"_Irving! Can I ask you something?"_

"_Sure."_

"_Will you be my new dad?"_

_He pondered that. "If it is what you want than I will be."_

"_its all I want." I said._

"_Alright then but it will be our little secret" He smiled and walked away._

_The next day he gave me a new friend, his name was Cullen, he was to be a templar Cullen became one of my best friends quickly, and I was thankful to have met him. _

_The next years continued the same way him tucking me in and us meeting at night until I was 12. At 10, I stopped expecting my parents to be there. At 13 and older he celebrated my birthday with me by pulling me out of my dreadful classes and we always had such fun, each year he would give me a new piece of jewelry for my jewelry box. Irving took great care of me and loved me dearly. He truly was like a second father to me._

I snapped out of my day dreaming to find tears rolling down my face. I sat up and wiped them away just as I did there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I called.

"Hi Lenobia."

"Cullen! Come in come in!" he started to come in but I stopped him. "wait shut the door." he did as I said but looked puzzled, so I felt like it needed an explanation. "If the younger ones see my door open the girls will come with questions of styles and gossip and the boys will come looking to hear tales of darkspawn."

"Oh, I see. Your quite popular then."

"Yes I am." I said remembering just then how Cullen always seemed to be a bit nervous around me. "Come sit, Its been too long, you must fill me in on what you've been up to!"

"Um, okay." Cullen said as he sat down and we started to fill each other in on our lives.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So how did you get a senior enchanters room?"

"Well they figured with me killing the abominations and such I deserved it."

"Oh I see, I went to your old room and had to ask the first enchanter if the rumors of you coming back were true." Cullen laughed and I did too.

"yes we seemed to have missed each other last time." I said. "and the time before that, well, abominations were running freely!" I laughed. "hardly an appropriate time for chit chat."

"yes although we did chat and I am afraid I embarrassed myself as well as you in front of Wynn and the others in your party.

"well you thought I was a demon it was understandable."

"But the things I said after being able to…distance myself from you."

"I honestly didn't expect to…hear that you…felt that way. Why did you distance yourself from me?"

"because I really really liked you and I was to be the templar who- who killed you if you failed the harrowing."

"Oh, but you said yourself you wouldn't have killed me and when I asked if the rumors of you liking me were true you just ran off. So I figured I repulsed you and you had to go vomit." I said and he started laughing and I did too.

We laughed until he said "no you did quite the opposite of repulsing me."

I was at a loss for words then, not knowing truly how I felt about Cullen, I had always wondered what it would have been like if we had been together but then I fell in love with- with…I cant even think his name! I am so confused. And then a knock at the door saved me.

"Um, come in?" I called.

It was Wynn with a bunch of apprentices on both sides of her.

"Hello Lenobia! These little one's here want a tale told before bed and I told them we could come and see if you might want to tell them a story."

"Oh I would be glad too!" I hurried out of the room and to the apprentice dorm, not looking back at Cullen, not even sure if he followed me.

I sat down. "so what story would you like to hear? One about elves and wolves, Dwarves and Darkspawn, Walking corpses and knights, Or the witch of the wilds?"

"The corpses and the knights!" the majority of the children cheered.

"alright then, we set out on a dangerous journey to stop the blight. Along the way we ran into the Redcliffe village where we heard rumors of walking corpses! So we went through out the day doing tasks for the mayor of this village to prepare the army to fight! Then at dusk a great fog rose and we prepared to fight and then shambling corpses and hungry skeletons were coming at us from all sides! My party and the Redcliffe knights and militia fought them for at least an hour before we finally killed them all! The people of Redcliffe were saved and once again safe!"

"hey you shortened it!" Some of the older kids cried.

They were right I left out how so many people were in despair how much I was starting to care for…him. How he told me about his heritage, how so many people were missing their families. But I did not need nor want to go into that especially the parts about our…my…the…um err…him. Seeing as how I cant even think his name!

"yes, well," Wynn chimed in "that's because it is your bedtime now off to bed! Go on!"

I walked back to my room and I heard a noise, quickly I drew my staff and opened the door. Instantly I was taken down by something heavy as I struggled under its weight it started to lick me!

"D-O-G!" I called to my Mabari "get off!" Instantly he was off and whimpering.

"oh don't be sad come here, you know I love you." I said petting him. "I missed you! I hope you had fun! "D-o-g barked happily then.

"come on now lets get to sleep." D-o-g curled up at the end of my bed and I went to lay down when I found a letter on my pillow that read 'Lenobia, I thought you might have missed this. I know he missed you!' - Irving

I lay my head down and when I put my hand under my pillow I felt a note that read 'Lenobia so glad to see you are back, lets have lunch tomorrow on the tower roof! - Senior Enchanter Elora

After that last note I finally fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

_**I walked up to the door and knocked. It was opened by a familiar face.**_

"_**Father!" I said joyfully trying to give him a hug. But he pushed me away.**_

"_**And who might you be?" he asked me.**_

"_**I am Lenobia. Don't you remember me?" I asked as a small little boy and girl appeared at the door.**_

"_**Hello" they both said at the same time. They were twins and they looked a lot like me.**_

"_**Hi!" I said excitedly bending down to meet my brother and sister!**_

"_**Are you selling goodies?" the boy asked.**_

"_**Yes, goodies like cookies and cakes?" the girl asked hopefully.**_

"_**No, I am you sister." **_

"_**We have a sister?" they asked looking back at their mother now in the doorway. **_

_**I stood up "You never told them about me? You mean you just stopped coming to see me and forgot I existed?" I asked almost yelling.**_

"_**Clearly," my father said in a rough voice "you have the wrong house."**_

_**I went into the house and looked around "No! this is the right house! That used to be my bedroom and that is your bedroom! And across the street is Ashrylen's house!"**_

"_**How do you know the children's tutor?" my mother asked.**_

"_**Because she used to be my best friend! She got hurt in this yard- our yard! And you took me to the tower!" I yelled desperately trying to get them to remember. My father led me into the yard and I heard my mother telling the children to stay inside. I watched the twins watch from the window.**_

"_**I am sorry but you are sadly mistaken we've only had one daughter and one son." My mother said. Ashrylen came out of her house then. **_

"_**what's going on Ted? Sheyenne?"**_

"_**Ashrylen! Don't you remember me?" I asked smiling.**_

"_**Did we play together in this yard?" She asked I was about to say yes ,yes we did when in my peripheral vision I saw my parents shake their head no almost as in saying pretend you don't remember her.**_

"_**your pretending not to remember me? How could you? I was your first born and now what? Life goes on? Did those five years mean nothing to you? Did those 7 years of actually saying you knew me matter? What? could you not have rumors saying your daughter was a mage? Was that too much for you? Why you stopped coming? Why you hurt your little girl when she was only 8? Why you kept her hanging on believing you would come until she was 10?"**_

"_**Lenobia we just-" my mother began.**_

"_**No! No! I do not want to hear your pitiful excuses." I looked to the house and the children were in the doorway watching and listening but I didn't care. **_

"_**Lenobia calm down we just-" I cut my father off.**_

"_**No! You just what? You just decided you would forget about me? Leave me in a world of hurt? Start a new family? Not tell them about me? Tell Ashrylen the only one I kept hanging onto as my best friend to not read the letters I sent her to tear them up and throw them in the fire? To forget I existed?" I screamed at them. "well I have news for you! I saved all of Ferelden from the blight! I saved you and your fake little useless family from darkspawn! I should have just led the darkspawn to your house and watch them destroy this little cover up family you have here! With these worthless lies! Well-"**_

"_**Lenny please stop your scaring the children!" Ashrylen said.**_

"_**No! Damn the children! Damn you all to the darkest depths of the deep roads! Damn you all to the black city! Damn you all to be eternally bound in the fade forever fighting for your lives against demons!" I said as I shot a fire ball into their crops ad the right side of the house- not harming anyone- but killing all crops this season and destroying the right side of the house. I walked off.**_

_**Ashrylen started to follow me and without looking back at her I shot cone of cold and froze her where she was. I was done with this family just as they were done with me. And as I walked away I realized I was even more alone now and I started to cry.**_

I sat up sweating and covered in tears D-O-G was whimpering and ran off and came back with someone.

"Oh Lenobia what happened?" he asked as he wrapped me in a hug and rocked me back and forth letting me sob on his shoulder after the worst dream I had ever had about my family.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"It was horrible." I said still heaving from just finishing up sobbing. I couldn't believe he came to me in the middle of the night and was now holding me despite my disgusting sweat and tears. I was slightly embarrassed to have him see me like this.

"Well," He said "its over now and I'm here."

I looked up into his concerned eyes. They were dark green, and not a trace of nervousness remained in them now. "Thank you Cullen, thank you so much." I said hugging him. Now I should probably wash up and regain some dignity. I stood up. "Sorry to disturb your sleep." I said to him.

"Are you sure you will be okay?" He asked reluctant to leave me here, he looked worried.

"yes," I said giving him a smile. "I'll be fine and I will see you at breakfast." He left then shutting the door behind him. I bent over to D-O-G and pet him.

"Why did you go and get Cullen of all people?" I asked him. And he answered me with this look that said 'well who else would I get?'

"How about enchanter Irving?" Some people thought it was weird to talk to your Mabari but the only people who thought that are ones who haven't been around one before. If they had they would know how knowing and human-like they really are.

D-o-g looked back at me as if to say with his eyes 'would you want him to see you like this?' "No I guess I would not want Irving to see me this way." I answered. Then added "and Cullen understands, good call d-o-g." I walked into my small bathroom and looked in the mirror. I was a mess. I washed my face off and fixed my face and washed my hair in the sink. I brushed my hair down and dried it with a towel. I went through the regular routine of getting up but my mind was busy and awake rather than groggy and slow.

Cullen was so gentle an nice and completely understanding. I never noticed he had green eyes before. And I had certainly never seen him in his night clothes nor had he mine, until tonight. My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. But nothing would be weird between Cullen and me. I don't know how I know I just do. His nervousness seemed to be gone, maybe that wasn't quite so permanent. Wait, why am I thinking about Cullen? Because he's your friend and he was there for you, the voice in my head immediately answered but I could see through my own lie. It was because there had always been that sort of 'what if' with Cullen. Like what if I had started dating him, we both liked each other.

No! I stopped myself there. But why do I always stop myself? its not like the idea of being with Cullen was new. before my harrowing I had wondered if the circle frowned upon mages and templar's dating, or if it was even possible. I guess it is seeing as how I was with-well I wont go there, plus he was a grey warden and had never became a true templar. I guess the idea of being with a templar or being with Cullen isn't that new to me, it isn't what makes my brain want to shut down. it's the idea of being with someone- no- of even thinking about possibly being with someone after…him.

NO, I thought as I pulled my robe on, I have had enough I should be able to just think his name. Even though he broke my heart I defeated the blight. I have killed people, demons, and darkspawn, and I have survived the fade! And yet just trying to think his name is nearly impossible. I will not be bested by him!

"D-o-g," I said and he looked at me, "if my brain explodes in a second don't be worried." I said trying to laugh a little at my dog's worried but overall confused expression.

The one who has basically ruined all thoughts of love for me is… Alistair. There I thought it. Never mind the fact that millions of images of him and I are swirling in my head and my heart feels like a sword has been stabbed through it, I at least thought his name.

I smiled and finished with my hair "okay d-o-g lets go eat."

We walked down the circle hall to the dining hall. It smelled like eggs were the main course today. The hall is relatively small and always at a decent volume considering all the mages eat here at the same time. I looked around for a place to sit and found no open spots. Wonderful well finding a table to sit at will be easy but finding a table where I wont be pestered to tell stories will be a bit more of a challenge.

I led d-o-g around the table full of food and we filled a plate. Then just as I was going to go sit with some people I might have known I heard someone say behind me "you can come sit with me."

I turned around grateful to see Cullen gesturing at an empty table meant for four people. I smiled "I would love to!" I said thankful for the opportunity of a quite breakfast with a friend. We sat down and I put down some of the food on the floor for d-o-g. It wasn't until I sat down that I noticed the lunchroom was quieter than usual and they almost all had their attention directed to one thing. Me. You figured they would be used to the fact that I am here by now since I got in yesterday afternoon. Then I realized as Cullen sat down across from me it wasn't just me they were staring at. It was me sitting with Cullen, a mage and a templar, dining together at the same table. SO maybe this was frowned upon?

"Sorry about the audience." Cullen said to me in a low tone, that was masked mainly by most of the others mumbling and whispers.

"Its okay I would have gotten at least half this attention anyways." I said to him, distractedly putting a bite of food into my mouth. And it was as if I reminded everyone else they were here to eat and they all started eating slowly and whispering things like 'are they dating?' 'can you hear what they are saying?' and 'a mage and a templar eating together?'

"So are you okay after this morning?" Cullen asked In a hushed voice.

"Yes, sorry you had to see me like that I feel terrible for subjecting you to that, you-" I stopped when Cullen cut me off.

"Don't be sorry, its okay." he said.

Feeling the need to change the subject I asked "so do you know why senior enchanter Elora wants to have lunch with me today?"

He looked a little shocked "no, I don't. I didn't even know you two were that close."

"Oh we aren't." I said casually. "we became close when I helped her clear out some pests when she was working on the inventory in the tower."

"Oh, and then you left right after?"

"Yes, the same day actually."

"Well," Cullen said finishing chewing before he began again. "I have no idea why she would want to have lunch with you, rumors have been circulating she has a plan that she wants to happen that will involve the whole tower."

"Hmmm, that's interesting." I said to him and that was about as deep as our conversations got seeing as the whole dining hall was listening to our conversations.

Later that afternoon I grabbed a sandwich and let D-o-g wonder the halls as I climbed the stairs to the roof, sure enough sitting there waiting for me was senior enchanter Elora.

"Lenobia! Its so good to see you, come have a seat with me."

"Hi," I said as I sat down. "wow this is an amazing view!'

"I know, isn't it beautiful?" Elora asked me.

"Yes." I replied. It was so beautiful, I have never sat out on top of the tower before. The sun was right over us beaming onto the lake. I had never seen lake Callenhad look beautiful but now it shimmered in the rays of the sun, beautiful, glittery water. I smiled to myself, not believing such a tall tower that is cut off from the world-that has become an inescapable trap to so many people-could be surrounded by such beauty, such serenity.

"So you have become quite the hero?" Senior enchanter asked semi-rhetorically. And I nodded. "Well we needed the excitement of your visit to distract us all from this place." She said looking around at the top of the tower.

"Yes, there never is any excitement here." I agreed with her.

"I was hoping you would think the same thing!" she said getting excited. "I want to have a happy event here in the tower! I was going to throw you a welcome home party," she paused becoming less excited. "but then I thought ' perhaps she does not consider this her home'." I was going to protest but she continued. "So then I thought ' I will throw her a welcome back party!' and then I thought 'but she has probably had enough peoples attention focused upon her lately'." She looked at me then almost sympathetically. I smiled back.

I was extremely happy and astonished to hear she put so much thought into my parties that she would consider me thinking this is not my home, and she is the first one to think I could use a break from all the attention, if we got to know each other better perhaps we could become friends.

"So," I started to ask. "What did you decide to do for the tower?"

"That is where you come in." she said smiling.

"Hmmm, well I have no ideas, I've never heard of towers hosting events before."

"The one in Ferelden does not. However, in Orlais they have partyies- well not parties but dances!" she said getting excited.

"We should have a dance here! Could that happen?" I asked excitedly.

"I think so!"

"Wow! That would be wonderful! We could decorate the main hall where the stock room is with colored paper!" I said getting into the spirit.

"And we could clear out the one half of the stock room and use it for drinks!" Elora said.

"You mean the right side stock room?" I asked.

"No, no. The one right across the left side stock/storage room. We could use the right side for chairs or places to sit." Elora answered.

"Yes, but the stock rooms are so closed off, perhaps we should host it in the dining hall? You know, clear out all but one or two tables?" I asked putting this new idea out there.

"Hmm," she contemplated this. "Yes! Yes, we could keeep half of the chairs and line them up around one section of wall."

"Yes and put the table of various finger food and drinks near the chairs."

"We have some musicians in the tower- we could have them play music for the dance." Elora suggested.

"I love it! I can see it now all of us dancing and-" I stopped mid sentence the smile fading from my face.

"What what's wrong?" Elora asked.

"What about the attire?" I groaned.

"Oh," Elora said her smile gone too. "You are right. We need dresses and suits!"

"The Templar's would never let us out of the tower to go to Denerim!"

"Then we wont be able to buy dresses or suits!" Elora exclaimed watching her vision fall to pieces.

"Wait!," I said thinking aloud. " what if we asked to take a select number of magi to Denerim?"

"But that wouldn't be fair to the others and there is no way we could even have a group of 10 mages walking through Denerim without causing people to run and hide and scream."

"I suppose your right," I added almost giving up. But wait, Redcliffe! "Elora! What if we took them to Redcliffe?"

"Redcliffe village?" Elora asked surprised.

"Yes I met a dress maker there once she made custom dresses or would sell you the material to make your own dress! I bet if we asked the first enchanter we could go to Redcliffe and ask Arl Eamon if we could take the mages out of the tower to his village so they could get dresses and suits!"

"You are absolutely right, and absolutely genius!" Elora shouted in excitement.

"Thank you! I will go ask the first enchanter right away!" I said getting up. This was the most fun I have had, and the most I have smiled, in a while.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Knock, Knock" I said to Irving's open door.

"Oh Lenobia! Come right in." irving welcomed me.

"Hello Irving. I have a question…" I trailed off.

"Okay, ask away."

"Could we- that is senior enchanter Elora and I- host a dance for the tower here in the dining hall?" without letting him answer I continued. "We just thought that we all need a break and some excitement, some good excitement, not 'oh maker abominations are going to kill us' excitement, but excitement to take our minds off of it excitement of finding a date and of asking your date and of finding your dress! Which brings me to the next question." I said finally taking a breath.

"Whoa child. Now first of all I wholly approve of the dance but we should find Greagoir and make sure the chantry has no rules against it." Irving told me.

"Did you need me, Irving?" Greagoir asked walking into irvings office.

"Yes, we did, actually. Lenobia and our senior enchanter Elora want to throw a dance in the dining hall for all the magi-" I cut him off then.

"And the templar's."

"And the templar's," Irving added. "I wanted to make sure the chantry had no rules against it."

"No, the tower in Orlais holds dances two or three times a year."

"Okay, well Lenobia that is answered now what is your other question?" Irving asked me.

"Okay so now that we can have the dance, everyone needs dresses and suits, so I was wondering if maybe we could go to Redcliffe village to a dressmaker I know and-"

"We as in…?" Greagoir trailed off in a question.

"The mages who want to attend the dance." I said hesitantly.

"You want to take almost an entire tower of magi out to a village?" Greagoir exclaimed.

"Well, yes. But we could make sure it is okay with Arl Eamon and the chantry in Redcliffe." This did not look like it was going to work.

"No! absolutely not!" Greagoir scolded me.

"Now, now. Lets not get ahead of ourselves. Lenobia? Could Greagoir and I have a moment to talk in private?"

"Of course irv- first enchanter" I said and bowed slightly and walked out of the office closing the door behind me. I always forget to call irving by first enchanter when in the company of others- especially templar's. I pressed my ear to the door to listen to their conversation.

"Irving, this is beyond what should happen! Why can they not just attend in their robes?" Greagoir asks.

"Greagoir, don't you think these magi could use a break, a distraction? After all we lost grave amounts to uldred and the abominations, and to the blight. They have suffered so much this offers a distraction a way to regain their spirits."

"I suppose you are right." Greagoir said. Yes! This is going to be great! Except Greagoir was not done talking. "But, if the magi are told that they may be able to leave the tower and then are crushed when the arl and the chantry of Redcliffe say 'no' wont they be more devastated?" Greagoir asked irving in a grave tone.

"Well, perhaps you are right." NO! irving come on fight for this! "but," Irving continued. "If we never tell them that there is a possibility of leaving the tower they will never be crushed." Irving agrued.

"Alright, I will accompany Lenobia to Redcliffe to ask permission of this." Greagoir said and then I heard footsteps. I moved away from the door. Greagoir walked out and looked at me. "Pack your bags, we are going to Redcliffe." And then he walked off. I ran into the enchanters office and encircled him in a hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" I squeeled with delight.

"Your welcome child, though nothing is promised yet."

"Yes but there is a chance! I must go tell senior enchanter Elora!" I said and started skipping out of his office when two books caught my eye. They were titled 'the history of the chantry' and 'the history of the circle of magi'. I stopped dead in my tracks remembering.

Remembering when I had received the ring and under the circumstances I had hidden it there. Remembering briefly wondering if the ring- my ring- would still be hidden between those books after all these years. After the abominations. I wanted to ask if he had found it. I turned t irving, but my voice caught. Through cloudy eyes I looked at him and then to the two books. Irving just gave me a look almost as if to say go ahead. I wonder if he has found the ring or if he knows why tears are filling my eyes ready to spill over. Or if irving, being the kind loving man he is, knows there is clearly something here that I need to know and is willing to let me without asking a single question.

I slowly walked forward to the books and I moved them apart. The tears spilled over and were silently rolling down my cheeks as I stuck my hand between the books and groped around in the dusty space. I feel something round and small and my heart leaps. I pick it up slowly, trembling. The tears fall off my face washing the dust from the ring my mother and my father gave me when I was seven years old. The very same ring I hid when I was eight. I sat on the ground silently crying tears of hapiness to have found the ring, sadness for the family I have not seen in so long, and crying just because I'm remembering, remembering everything again and again.

Irving, fully understanding me, gets up and quietly closes the door to his office. He walks over to me and sits down puts his arm around my shoulder and rocks me side to side.

"shhh its alright leobia, everything is fine. I knew you would come back for the ring sooner or later." Irving said to me in a whisper. So he knew. kNowing irving he probably knew the day I put it there. I looked at the ring and looked at irving- at the man who has become my father and I stood up. I looked at him and hugged irving tightly.

"Thank you." I whispered. He nodded. I pulled back from the hug and slipped the ring on my pinky finger- the only finger it would fit. But not before reading the inscription. I smiled the tears finally gone.

"You better go pack your bags and tell Elora the news!" irving reminded me.

"Youre right!" I said getting excited once again and I was off.

"ELORA!" I Squeeled bursting into her class room that was…full of people. "oops sorry Senior enchanter Elora, but I need to talk to you." I said in a hushed voice.

"Okay," she said to me then turning to her class she continued. "Begin to read this chapter it will not tell you how to preform the cone of cold spell but it will give you the basics and then since Lenobia has been so rude as to burst into my class room." She said in a tone only I knew meant she was joking for me but serious to them so she mustn't lose her authority, "she will show you how to preform cone of cold."

We walked outside her class. "Guess what!" I said ready to burst.

"We can have the dance?" Elora asked.

"Yes!" I squeeled as we both hugged each other. "I am going with Greagoir tonight to get permission from Arl Eamon about the dressess!"

"oh that's wonderful Lenobia! I can't wait!"

"Me either so can I get off the hook on that cone of cold?"

"Of course you know that was just for authoritive purposes, I'll tell them you can't on account of very important buissness."

"Okay bye!" I yelled back to her as I dashed down the hallway to tell D-O-G I would be gone for a while.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Alright Warden lets go." Greagoir told me in his gruff voice.

"Okay, but call me by my name, its Lenobia, not Warden." I replied and we headed off the docks and out onto our path to Redcliffe.

it's a 3-day journey to Redcliffe from the tower but that's if you make camp both nights. When I was traveling to the tower to save Connor it took us 2 days and we only half made camp one night for 5 hours of rest. Either way it's going to be a long silent trip with Greagoir. Not to mention extremely awkward considering his hatred of magi.

Hmm, well I guess I should preoccupy my thoughts as to keep the boredom from ensuing. Well at least we will probably get this dance to happen. The Arl is basically Alistair's uncle and Alistair…and I…dated… for a while. I winced at that thought and Greagoir looked over at me curiously but shrugged it off. So the Arl should allow this happen…hopefully. Or maybe Alistair simply hates me now even though he said we would still be friends. UGH, that makes me so angry! Still be friends…why not just be a couple? I clenched and then unclenched my fists to relieve the anger and Greagoir eyed me suspiciously.

But that is all beside the point. Alistair is my main connection with the Arl besides the fact that I helped save his family with my decision to travel to the tower and that I saved his life by braving haven and the Frost Back Mountains and bringing back Andraste's ashes. He will hopefully let this happen, taking magi into his village and all, after all the magi saved his son. But he could argue that a mage poisoned him. Well I feel he will still side with me unless of course, Alistair hates me and he told the Arl that he hates me and then the Arl decides to hate me too on behalf of Alistair. That could make things harder. I exhaled loudly.

Greagoir the mage hater gave me an annoyed look. The sun was setting now; we have only been walking for around 30 minutes. 30 minutes of silence and we would be traveling for two more days. Two more days of silence. I guess I'm pretty much used to the silence, when I'm alone. I don't know why the quiet is bugging me now, perhaps it's because I'm tired of the silence or I thought since I would be traveling with someone else there would be conversation. I have no idea why I would ever expect that from the mage hating knight commander Greagoir over here.

As if reading my thoughts Greagoir spoke up. "I don't hate magi." Is what he said to me? I turned my head towards him and raised my eyebrows because I am simply too stunned at this statement to talk.

"I only hate apostates, that is why I became a templar, not for the satisfaction of locking up, chasing down, and killing magi. I don't enjoy the fact that you are all locked up at all, actually."

"Well then, why do you act like you do?" I said clearly feeling bold to have said this so bluntly.

"I don't mean to come off that way but some one must keep the magi in check and it is my duty as First Knight Commander to do so."

"Oh, well then why do you hate apostates so much? You never liked me and it wasn't like I was destined to leave the tower."

"I treated you like every other mage in-"

"No," I interrupted. "You never did like me, I could tell you wouldn't mind all that much if I had failed the Harrowing, you even were going to have Cullen, my only templar friend, finish the job as it were, if I had failed! Face it you hated, well I should say hate me, especially now that I am free to roam I can hear it in your voice."

"I do not hate you I dislike the fact that you excelled beyond all the magi I have seen. I disliked the fact that you were always the rebellious troublemaker. you were the only mage to make friends with a templar! In your harrowing I did not want to see you die but I did want to see you finally struggle to survive, finally struggle with something, but no instead you made friends with things in the fade and got through it faster than any other apprentice in the last decade or so.

"Because of your rebelliousness and your massive amounts of power-really you harness so much power, you were shooting arcane bolts at five! But because of how strong you are, I hated to see you go roam free and hold an entire nation in your hands but I knew you were under good supervision with Duncan until that ended! And you were on your own practically an apostate wielding the most dangerous weapon in all of Thedas- Magic. So see I do not hate you I dislike the way you were. The way greatness came so naturally to you and the way you acted just like- I mean the way it was hard to tell at times if you could handle all the power you commanded."

Well I thought I've done pretty well for having to stop the whole blight while dealing with a painful break up and hard decisions about letting a woman raise and old god in her womb!

"Oh I see, you were going to say I acted like someone, who exactly?"

"No One." He said in a stern tone of finality.

"Well then, why do you hate apostates so much? Because they are free?"

"No." Greagoir replied sternly. "No not because they are free, because they sometimes do not fully understand how to use their powers. Or worse," He paused and I saw a deep hurt in his eyes. "Or they could know how to fully harness their power but hear the darkness calling to them and then they get into blood magic."

"You speak as though you've had experience with this." I stated softly.

"Of course I have I am a templar!" He said trying to wipe the pain from his face.

"I meant personal experience." I said gently coaxing him to tell me.

He sighed a heavy sigh. "Yes, yes I have. It is what made me decide to become a templar. It is what compelled me to rise to the top ranks." He stopped for a whole minute but I waited patiently letting him take his time to unload this burden.

"I used to hate mages, that was the driving force for me to become a templar I was 21 and I was convinced all magi were evil, horrible people. But then I met Irving at 25 and he has become like a brother to me, a true brother, we argue and bicker but we always stay close in the end." He paused his smile slowly fading.

"I had a family at one time. A wife and two kids, the perfect family. I loved them so very much. My wife and I wed at eighteen. She was a thin average height woman with a stunning beauty about her. And she was always so confident and courageous but so gentle at the same time-that is who I was going to say you reminded me of. she had long blond hair down to the middle of her back. She always wore it down but braided her bangs back like a crown around her head. And she had these bright brown eyes, almost the color of honey. Her name was Alaysia." He paused and I could feel the happiness radiating off of him, he must have loved her so much it saddened me to know this story had to end tragically.

"Anyways," He continued. "We had a child, a baby boy after being married for a year. He was the cutest little baby I had ever seen and each day I watched him grow into a humorous but responsible little boy. When Len was a year, old Alaysia had our baby girl on her own 20th birthday. She was her spitting image even from birth you could tell she would be just like her mother. We named her Ayelane. We loved her. The next year we were throwing her and her mother a birthday party on their birthday and Len and I went to go buy gifts and ingredients for a cake." He paused Sighing.

"We went to the store in Lothering about 30 minutes from our home and bought everything we returned to Alaysia and Ayelane picking berries out of our garden. Back then, I was a simple farmer I would travel into Lothering and sell my goods to make money. Ayelane was a year old and already walking and talking on her own. She was so brilliant just like her mother. Well, Len and I returned and went to the kitchen since he was only two he carried a gift inside and went out to the garden with his mother and sister. I made a trip outside the house to get the rest of the ingredients and presents that Len couldn't carry in.

Since many refugees and criminals passed through Lothering we would get a few stragglers that would try to steal from our garden. Normally I would go out there and scare them off by threatening them with my dagger. One minute I heard then laughing so hard and I peeked out our kitchen window that overlooked our garden and saw them knee-deep in berry bushes trying to untangle themselves. So I-" Greagoir stumbled.

"Are you alright?" I asked him. "We can make camp if you can't travel in the dark…"

"No, No I'm fine child; let's just continue on, the less time we have to travel the better." Greagoir assured me.

He didn't start up his story right away. I wonder if he will tell me the rest of it ever. I've never seen Greagoir act so human before.

"Well, where was I?" Greagoir asked rhetorically. "So I busied myself with making the cake and While I was banging the pots and pans around to find the right one I didn't hear him approaching. I got the pan and looked out the window. I was smiling until my eyes met with his. The apostate who ruined my life. He had a sly slimy grin on his face and saw the pain on mine as he pulled out his staff. He aimed at Alaysia. I ran outside just in time to see him shoot her with something black and evil, blood magic. He gave me an evil smile as tears started running down my cheeks. I watched Alaysia's Charred black body slump to the ground, falling down right into thee berry bushes scratching her face up.

"He turned to my crying children then and said "See Kiddies that's why you share." I started running toward him at full force but it was too late he had already killed them with the same thing he used on Alaysia. I tackled him but he jabbed me with his staff and started running but not before he told me "I'll let you live, so you can spread the word about what happens when you don't share!

"I committed his face to memory then and mourned my family… I'm Sorry; I shouldn't be telling you this." He said to me clearly noticing my eyes welling up with tears.

"No, really its fine." I assured him. "I'm so Sorry Greagoir, Sorry for everything you have been through. I- I understand what its like to lose a family but not what you've gone through." I cannot believe all the horrid things this man has gone through.

"Well," Greagoir continued. "After the funerals were arranged I went to the chantry I devoted my life to become a Templar and two years later my main training was complete. At 23, I was hunting Apostates and before I killed each one, I got a good look at their face to make sure it wasn't the same one who killed my family.

"I was about to be promoted to knight commander On my 25th birthday I would be the youngest knight commander there ever was. So I was strolling through Denerim looking for anyone that might be out of place, taking a stroll through our capital before I would be devoted to the tower of Magi and only leave when needed elsewhere. Then going from the market place into a house, I saw him. I knew his face anywhere even 4 years later.

"I knocked on the door to the house he walked into and he answered, I knew he didn't let strangers in his house that often especially since he was an apostate. "Can I help you?" he had asked me. Lucky for me I wasn't wearing my templar Amour. "Yes I'm just taking a bit of a survey for Fereldens." "Okay come in sit down." He said gesturing at a table and chairs. I sat down and asked "so Have you lived in Denerim long?" He told me yes 3 years. I asked him some other random questions and then when I was done I asked "You seem so familiar, have we ever met before?" He thought about it and gave a sincere "No I do not think we have." I noticed some kids toys and asked "You have a family?" "Yes," He replied beaming a smile at me "A beautiful wife who've I've been married to for 3 years, a 2 year old son, and a 1 year old daughter." "Oh really? Me as well, only we no longer celebrate birthdays and anniversaries." I said almost losing my calm. "Really, why not?" He asked me. I replied "Oh because my wife and children never age. actually the only day we celebrate is September 27th the day of their death." He looked saddened then the fool honestly didn't remember me. "Oh I'm so sorry." He said. "Well," I replied. "You should be you were the one who killed them." I could see it all click then, he remembered. "Please you can't kill me! I have a wife and children!" He pleaded for his life.

"Oh, I know I did as well and you let me live with the pain everyday and I wished I would die. But now, I cannot kill children unfortunately I am not completely missing my heart as you are! Instead of taking away your family, since I do not have it in me to kill them, I will kill you slowly and painfully until you wish it would have been your wife and children. no matter how much you love them I will torture you until you plead for their lives to be taken just so I will stop and even then, I will not stop. I will kill you only when I am satisfied that justice has been done, only when I feel at least a tiny fragment of pain lifted from me will I stop and kill you. and I might not even kill you just then; I might just leave you in the Kocari wilds to bleed to death!"

Well Lenobia I think I will spare you the details of the torturing it's not really something I like to think about, it was a heinous act on my part. No matter how much it was deserved." Greagoir told me angrily.

The Sun was beating down on us it was mid-day already.

"Well Greagoir I'm so sorry for what you have been through, I never suspected, I mean if I had known I wouldn't have-" he cut me off.

"Lenobia it is fine." He said sternly.

"Well," I said contemplating what to say. "We still have half a day to kill before we get to Redcliffe. I say we sit down for a rest and then maybe you can tell me a little about your first year in the tower if you want, I've always been curious about that, especially you and Irving."

He laughed a little; I don't think I've ever heard Greagoir laugh. "alright I'll tell you about my first year." We sat down for lunch and we were both so hungry we barely talked at all.

"Well After my scene with the apostate that lasted about a week. It was almost my birthday so I went to the Denerim chantry and was assigned my job and granted the position of First Knight-Commander. I wasn't looking forward to staying in the tower but I figured it would be a welcome change a place to settle down now that I had finally got the revenge I sought. I was not, however, looking forward to living with a bunch of magi of who I then thought was the enemy because the chantry had only trained me how to hunt magi and never to co-exist with them. Looking back at it now I see that that could be one of the reasons the magi have to be locked up, because the chanters always speak of how bad magic can be they never tell you about how good it can be. I think you being a mage and saving Ferelden with magic helped people figure that out a little bit. You did a lot more for the tower than you realize." He looked over at me and half smiled. "well Let's get walking.

"Okay." I said and got up. Greagoir's life is so tragic. And I all happened between eighteen and 25 I guess I got a head start on bad things happening in my life at five. Greagoir interrupted my thoughts.

"So, I went into the tower with a bad attitude but the Magi didn't pay much attention to me, they actually barely noticed I was there. Which was not at all what I expected, sure, there were whispers and rumors but nothing you wouldn't expect when someone new comes in to a confined place. I walked into the first enchanter's office and he greeted me kindly. "Greagoir," he said to me. "How nice to see you here! I am glad you made t okay, here let me show you into your room, we just had the Tranquil replace everything and they will take your bags there for you." Right then I decided all magi weren't bad. But don't get me wrong Irving and I became great friends but when we had our first disagreement, it exploded! Everything for about a month or so after that couldn't be an agreement anymore it had to be an argument, even if we secretly agreed with each other we couldn't let the other one know, it was as if we were ten again. But after our first few fights we got used to the fact we would clash with each other but like I said before we are like brothers." He smiled. "Anyways I can see Redcliffe Castle right there coming up over the hillside, do you see it?"

"Yes I do!" I said anticipating what would happen hoping we would be able to wear dresses to this dance, hoping the Arl would let this happen. It seemed the closer we got to Redcliffe the more Greagoir and I grew apart, as if we couldn't be seen as, well kind-of friends in public. He had shared something with me though that I knew few others had ever gotten to know. Moreover, that in itself is a marvelous thing. We would never admit it to each other but I think this journey has brought us closer than either of us could have imagined.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Sire, you have company." A servant said.

"Bring them in." The Arl said exhaustedly, his face immediately brightened when he saw me and then it faded to exhaustion and worry. "Lenobia, what brings you here?"

"An Idea Senior Enchanter Elora and I had for the tower. As you know thinkgs have not been pleasant there in the recent past." I paused and he nodded, I looked over to Greagoir to let him present the idea with all its faults so I could end on all the good things.

"They want to have a dance in the tower."

"That sounds like something to be cleared with the chantry, not with me…" The arl trailed off.

"Well they are allowed to have it but they want dresses, and to get them they want to bring 20 magi that belong to the circle here to shop for dresses at a local shop." Greagoir informed him. Well I guess twenty is fine but that wont seem fair to the other magi!

"Oh, I see." Arl Eamon said thinking. "Well, Lenobia, you have done so much for us but I am afraid it can not be so, my village, like many others, still fears magic, no matter that my son is an apprentice himself. So I'm afraid I cannot let you bring that many magi into the village to shop, I do hope your dance can still continue, but if you wish for 20 to come to the village you can always go pay a visit to the king in Denerim and get his thoughts." The Arl suggested.

The king, Alistair. The circle means a lot to me but not that much. There must be some way to get dresses and avoid seeing the king. But the arl looks like he wants me to see the king, I wonder why?

"No there's no need to trouble the king." I told him and Greagoir turned around to leave.

"What if," I began. "Only Senior Enchanter Elora and I came to the shop and brought 2 templars with us, surely your vilage can handle two magi, it surely has before." I suggested reminding him of when Morrigan and I were in this village together. And realy together Morrigan and my power probably amounted to more than just 20 magi!

The arl considered my new idea. "Very well," He said and then continued with, "But I have one condition."

"Okay what is that?"

"Go to Denerim and invite Alistair, I do not know if he will be able to make it but he will be glad to see you and to have the opportunity to get out of the castle and away from his kingly duties for a while."

My goodness! The Arl just will not give up! Surely he knows of Alistairs history with me! "I will… set off immediately to deliver the invitation." I agreed unwillingly. "And when I return I will bring Senior Enchanter Elora with me to shop."

"Okay , Lenobia I will see you in two weeks."

Greagoir and I left the castle then and once we were outside he practically exploded.

"So, why are you so reluctant to go see the king of Denerim? Wasn't he a good friend and fellow grey warden to you?"

I could see the hidden question in greagoirs eyes 'so what went on with him? A bad split?' is what he really wanted to ask.

"Well, we are friends," Friends, I despise that word! "We just had a rough past and seeing each other will probably worsen the nightmares we grey wardens get, and it will remind us of all the blood spilled during the blight." I only partially lied, we had had a rough past after all.

"Oh I see, well Lenobia I believe this is where we part, good luck on your journey and I will see you in two and a half weeks. When you are due back from Denerim I will have two templars and senior enchanter Elora waiting for you at the dock. Goodbye."

"Good bye Greagoir, be careful on your journey." And we parted.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Alistair's point of view

"Yes, well it was very nice to meet you, um. Well yes perhaps I will see you again good day." I said hurrying what ever this girls name was out of here.

"Oh will you really see that one again?" My servant Dezrina asked excitedly.

"No. I can't even remember her name."

"Oh," Dezrina sighed disappointedly. "Shall I bring in the next one your highness?"

I sighed, "I suppose so." Dezrina hurried out then.

Every girl was practically the same. I needed to get married so they have been pulling every beautiful and queenly woman out of Ferelden to come meet me to find the one I'm interested in. But the only one I'm interested in will never walk through that door. Or at least that's what I tell myself but every time the door opens I still hope it will be her walking through that door to come take me on an adventure, to battle darkspawn, to take me back in her arms after everything I've screwed up. The door opened then.

"Lenobia?" I whispered. The light flooded in and all I could see was short red hair, a little longer than Lenobia's actually is, but it could have grown out. Then they shut the door and I saw her face, and her hairs true color. She was pretty but her hair wasn't the right color of red, it was too dull. And she didn't have tattoos and her nose was too steep and her lips we a bit to wide. She was not nearly as beautiful as my len- I mean as Lenobia. She is not mine anymore.

"This is Winona." Dezrina presented the woman to me.

"Nice to meet you Winona." I said almost sincerely, odd I normally don't care at all, perhaps she reminds me too much of Lenobia.

She started to chatter on about her interests and I just nodded and tried to look interested as always. I just focused on how her voice was to low to be Lenobia's, she doesn't look like the type to wield a sword, she probably would die during the joining and she sure couldn't handle everything Lenobia has been through.

All I could do was compare her to Lenobia but even though she seems nothing like her I found myself saying "I hope I get to see you again very soon." And I meant it.

"Ooh! You actually like this one?" Dezrina exclaimed. "That's great I will schedule dinner with her next week!" And she hurried out.

Hmmmm." I sighed aloud closing my eyes. I try to picture Lenobia but I can never get her face just right Something is always off. Its as if she is to beautiful to be recreated perfectly in my mind.

I miss her everyday, Just seeing her in Denerim again would be wonderful but I have a feeling she avoids it because of me. I crushed her, I could see it on her face the day we broke up and every day I spent with her afterwards. I can always picture that face perfectly. Every day I see Lenobia's broken and Crushed expression in my mind and every day it kills me a little more. Oh, what I would do to see her happy, even with that Templar from the Tower. Oh what's his name? The one who clearly was getting desire demons and abominations sent to him in Lenobia's form because he liked her. Maybe even loved her. If he would make her happy, fix the heart that I destroyed, I would be forever grateful. I wouldn't even care if she wasn't mine anymore.

"Your highness?" One of the servants asked coming through the door. "I wish not to bother you but if you are not doing anything too important there is a person, I think tis a woman, here wishing to give you something."

My face lit up. "Absolutely I will go right away!" I said practically jumping out of my chair, then as always, remembering my duty as king and slowing and calming down.

The giant doors were pushed open for me, that's one thing I never understood, the castle doors were so big the Arch demon could fit through them. Were we planning to accommodate her willingly at some point?

Just outside the castle gates there was a woman in a cloak. She turned her back to me the instant I stepped out, which is unusual. But the glimpse of her face I got, I swore I saw...tattoos. And bright red hair? She has a staff on her back and is definitely in Mage Robes, but mage robes from out of the tower and a cloak from out of the tower. I didn't know if they even sold it in Wonders of Thedas. She would have had to have found it somewhere, perhaps on a quest?

"Hello? Do I know you?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

(Lenobia P.O.V. again and for the rest of the book)

"Hello? Do I know you?" Alistair asked me in his beautiful wonderful voice. I edged away from him a little more, the urge to just hug him and show him its me almost over powering me.

"We knew each other once, but that is not important. On behalf of the Tower of Ferelden you are invited to a dance we are hosting inside the tower for the Magi, you may come if you wish, it takes place in two and a half weeks."

"Your Voice…Lenobia?" He asked trying to peer at my face, but I was hidden to well in the shadows of my cloak.

"No," I faked a chuckle. "I am not the one who destroyed the Arch demon! I am but a simple messenger." A 'Messenger' who iss completely torturing herself by standing here. But I just cannot get enough of his face! "well, your majesty, I should be getting back to the tower now." I said handing him his invitation. Right then wind blew but it blew against the back of my head which only revealed the lower half of my face in the light along with most of my hair. I saw recognition in his eyes.

"Well Have a nice day your majesty, We all hope to see you in the tower for the dance." I said making my voice just a pitch too high to throw him off my trail.

"goodbye." He told me dazed.

I turned to walk away. Oh Finally! I can get out of here.

"Wait…" I heard Alistair mutter.

"Yes alis- Your majesty?" I said almost too eagerly. I will not run into his arms and hug him and cry and tell him how much I miss him. I will run out of this town and back into Cullen's arms, oh maker, I almost forgot completely about Cullen!

"Will you tell Lenobia, that I miss her and our crazy adventures and to show her face around the castle here every once in a while…it would be greatly appreciated if she did." He said and I could tell he was struggling to keep it formal.

"Yes, your majesty." I said turning away and walking quickly as to get away from him. I turned the corner and I was free to take my cloak off, but I was still too scared too. I couldn't let him see me.

Then a woman passed me and I swear it was, "Goldana?"

"Yes?" Goldanna said answering my call.

"You're Alistair's sister, yes?"

"Why, yes," She said getting arrogant. "Yes I am."

"Oh and are you going to see him now?" I said in my fakest voice.

"Yes, I do adore my baby brother."

"Oh really because I remember differently a little over a year ago. Yes that's right I do remember now all you wanted was money! You claimed he killed your mother." I said pulling back my hood.

"You! You was that trash following' him around for his money you was!" She screamed at me letting the fact she had clearly never gone to school to learn to speak correctly show.

"yes, and you said you wanted nothing to do with him. But now you do? Because he is king? It looks to me like you're the trash who is following him around for his money!" I said as a crowd started to gather.

'You stay out of my business!"

"You, stay away from Alistair! You Tramp!"

'What makes you think you can do anything to keep me from him?"

Drawing my staff next to me I said "Because this time Alistair is not here to stop me from cutting out that tongue of yours!" She looked terrified at that and ran away. I was not afraid to cut out her tongue so I yelled after her "And stay Away from him!" The people started to disband then but it wasn't because the fight was over it was because our king who apparently stayed outside after I left him at the front of his castle was coming around towards us.

He saw me and stopped dead in his tracks. "Lenobia? Lenobia!" He said walking towards me. I cannot stay here, not another minute. I will end up running into his arms and never letting go. But would that be such a bad thing? Yes! Yes, see its happening already. I'm going to have to hurt him, almost break his heart. He deserves it for breaking mine but Its so hard to- no I must.

"yes, hello Alistair, well I took care of that little pest for you she wont be bothering you again. I guess I should go now, Goodbye!" I said and turned and ran out of the city.

Ah, and the tears return. Its so sad how used to crying I am, its just the fact that I saw him again, saw him for real, and how happy he was to see me. He knows I still love him, but what he doesn't realize is that we cannot still be friends if I am still in love with him it will never work.

Ah, Denerim how you always test me. That reminded me of what someone told me. In my harrowing I met a mouse who pretended to be an apprentice killed by a templar who was really a pride demon. I figured it out though and I didn't let him get the best of me. He told me "The real dangers of the Fade are preconceptions... careless trust... pride. Keep your wits about you, mage, because true tests...never end." Keep your wits about you mage…Because true tests…never end. Truer words were never spoken to me


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Ah, back to Redcliffe. I should say something to Elora. We have been silent pretty much the whole trip here from the castle, I think its because of the templar's.

"Ah, here we are Elora, Redcliffe Village."

"Hmm," She sighed happily. "Its been Much too long since I've left the tower."

"Lets go this way, the dress maker is in the back of the docks." I said and started to lead the way through the village. As we walked through some people would shout "Lenobia! Remember me?" Or "Look it's the one who saved our village!" Amongst other cheers.

"You're quite popular here." Elora noted.

"Yes, well I did much for this village and they've done much for me." I said and opened the door to the dress shop.

"Oh Lenobia, how good to see you again!" Zeldra said in a heavy Orlesian accent.

"Its good to see you as well, Zeldra." I said greeting her. "this is my friend from the tower, Elora."

"and these gentlemen?" Zeldra asked.

"Just templar's. it's a pleasure to meet you Zeldra." Elora said.

"to you as well, Elora. What can I do for you today, Lenobia?"

"Well," I said a smile growing on my face. "Elora and I are hosting a dance at the tower!"

"Oooh how wonderful! Then you will need many dresses, No?"

"Dresses and suits."

"That is most wonderful news! I am glad you chose me! So where to start?"

"well, Elora and I will pick out of your pre-made dresses, and then we will need much cloth, for suits and dresses, along with sewing materials so everyone can make their own."

"Oh what a great idea! Well then lets get you fitted, shall we?" Zeldra asked already picking out dresses that would fit us.

"Here." Zeldra said handing Elora and I each about 5 dresses. She pointed to the changing rooms.

"Put one on ladies, then be sure to show me, I will be in the back gathering materials for you just tell me when your ready for me to take a look!" She called to us as we were both entering our separate changing areas.

I slipped my first dress on. It was a bright green dress with long sleeves and a layered skirt that stopped an inch from the ground.

"Zeldra?"

"Yes," she paused. "No. take that off this instance! Green is not you color." She said holding piles of fabric in her arms.

"I agree." I walked back into the dressing room. I heard Elora call to Zelda and Zeldra said something along the lines of "that's atrocious take it off, go try another." I imagine Zeldra's expression and I chuckle. I chuckled! Is it possible I have recuperated from my close call in Denerim so quickly?

"Zeldra, what do you think?" I said walking out in a rather revealing dark blue dress.

"Hmm, well the color isn't bad, but it would blend in with the tower walls and we can not have you blending in! So try another."

As I was walking back in I passed Elora who was wearing a white dress that she didn't look comfortable in at all, and then I heard Zeldra say, "no, no 'tis a dance not a wedding, try another please."

I pulled on my second to last dress. It was Long sleeved but the sleeves were made out of a see through material. It was a little low cut for my taste, but it was decorated with black beads all over the bodice. The skirt had 2 layers, the top one being see through like the sleeves. It was red. Well the see through parts were a light red, but the dress itself was blood red. Blood. Blood Red. I swallowed hard. Looking at myself in the mirror I could see the faces of those I had come to know and lost in battle. I saw the people I had killed, every dwarf, every human, every elf. I remembered standing in a puddle the color of my dress after slaying so many people I couldn't help but be taken aback. Sure they were all horrid people but I remembered Alistair pulling me up out of that puddle. And kissing me both of us covered in blood. My reflection had a single tear rolling down her face until she wiped it away and squeezed her eyes closed to keep the other tears in.

"Lenobia? Let me see this dress?"

"I do not like it."

"Why, which one is it?"

"The red one." The _**blood**_ red one.

"Oh, well then you do not have to wear it. Of course, I thought you would look wonderful, may I at least see it?"

I walked out she nodded and sent me back, sensing something was wrong. I picked up the final dress, after burying the red one under all the others. I slipped on my final dress. It had sleeves but they were off the shoulder. It wasn't that revealing just a straight cut above my chest where the sleeves rested to show off just the littlest bit of cleavage. Attached to the back of my dress near my shoulders were 2 pieces of see through light purple cloth. On the end were to bands, I slipped them one on each middle finger and it looked like I had delicate wings of lavender cloth when I held my arms out. On each sleeve there was a large gem, fashioned to look like a diamond. Where the purple bodice met the purple skirt there were similar, but smaller, gems that resembled diamonds. The skirt was of one layer and it touched the ground. When I walked it looked as if I were floating. The dress had the slightest train that would trail behind me. I stepped out of the changing room.

Elora, in her dress of choice, which was light blue so light it was almost white. It had a modest cut near the chest, was long sleeved, like sleeves on a robe wide and long. And it had a skirt that rested on the tops of her feet. Elora and Zeldra just gaped open mouthed at me. Then the endless rain of comments began and I couldn't make out half of what they were saying. I got the gist of it though: I looked stunning.

"Well then these are Our dresses of choice, and we will take all of this material, along with five different sizes of suits, so we have something to go off of." I said to Zelda pulling out my pack to retrieve money.

"Perfect! It will be 15 sovereigns."

"Okay, not a problem." I said handing her 17 as a tip for all of her extra help.

We exited the store, Elora, the templars, and I, all with full hands.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The Next few days at the tower, we transformed the Dining hall into a sewing room. Endless sewing, cutting, measuring, and passing around of fabrics for 3 days. Then on the fourth day just a few people were finishing up, and we cleaned up the dining hall, so the tranquil didn't have to do all the work.

Then Elora, The tranquil, and I started to decorate. We hung colored cloths on the wall and fashioned stars and hung them from the ceiling with string. We put out food on tables and sat up chairs. We made a giant moon and hung it in the middle. We set up a section near the wall for thee musicians to play. It looked beautiful. Then I went to get ready.

"Hi boy!" I laughed when D-O-G tackled me! "I know I know its been almost 3 weeks since you saw me last!" He continued licking me. "Come on now, let me up, I have much readying to do." He obediently got off and looked at me curiously.

"For the dance." I reminded my Mabari. He barked in response. Then looked a little sad.

"Do not fear, my little war hound, I got you this velvet black ribbon to tie around your neck like a bow tie, so you can attend too!" He barked happily then sat up straight so I could put the bow on him.

Then I started working on myself. I braided my bangs and tied them back so they rested around my head like a crown. Then I braided, with much difficulty, every inch of my short hair. I slipped on my beautiful dark purple and lavender dress. I reapplied my eye shadow and lipstick since it was all messed up from my travels. Then I unbraided my hair, except for the bangs, so it would be crimped. I looked at myself in my long mirror then and gasped. I didn't even recognize myself.

I had never been dressed up before, except for when I still lived with my parents. I looked regal, almost royal. I looked like I commanded a lot of power, my tattoos only adding to this illusion. But it isn't an illusion I do command much power when it comes to magic. I just didn't command much power over my life but I finally looked like I did. Down the hall I could hear music starting.

"Well D-O-G are you ready to go?" He barked happily in response. "Will you be my date?" He nudged my leg and did a maneuver that looked as though he were smiling. "Well then," I said to my dog date. "Let us go." Just then there came a knock at my door.

I opened the door and there in a suit stood Cullen. He looked… well, handsome. "Hello My lady." he said bowing.

"Cullen what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well I am here to ask if you might want to accompany me to the dance, as my date, and if so I shall be a proper gentleman and escort you."

"Well then I would be honored to be your date, but only if its okay with D-O-G" I giggled and My loving Mabari growled at Cullen but shook his head yes and nudged me into my date. "Thank you D-O-G have a wonderful night at the dance."

Cullen took my arm and escorted me down the hall to the dance.

In we walked and everyone stared. They stopped dancing and just stared. Cullen led me to the middle of the room and we began to twirl to the music, which had regained its tempo as everyone remembered why they were here. I herd the whispers and saw the jealous glares I got from other girls, but none of it bothered me.

The music changed to a slower song and Cullen looked at me with adoration. I looked away, slightly embarrassed by all the attention.

"You look amazing tonight, Lenobia." He said, keeping me close to him.

"Thank you Cullen." I felt a smile spread across my features. "You look amazing yourself, I've never seen you in anything other than your Templar Armor."

"Not true." he said then laughed and added. "When you had those horrid dreams you saw me in my night robe."

We both laughed together.

"Yes, yes I did." I said sighing and lying my head on his shoulder as we danced I breathed in his scent. He smelt like soap, clean and refreshing but with a small hint of mustiness, probably from reading the tower books so often.

Just then I noticed the dancing slowed and everyone was scooting to make a path in the middle but craning there necks to see. Cullen and I danced out of the way a little but still looking to see who it was. Everyone stopped dancing at the same moment my heart stopped beating and I couldn't breathe, the pain in my chest was much to intense to even move from Cullen's embrace.

Alistair, in his best suit, was walking in smiling and greeting those who bowed to him. He looked a bit uncomfortable with all the attention but everyone seemed to regain their senses at that moment and flooded the dance floor with couples slow dancing. I was glad because this blocked me from Alistair's view.

"Ah, so the king arrives, isn't that marvelous?"

"What? Oh, yes, yes Marvelous indeed" I said trying to look at Cullen but like magnets my eyes kept finding Alistair in the crowd. Then our eyes met.

"Lenobia? What do you think?"

"What, oh sorry Cullen, I must not have caught that what did you say?"

Alistair was closing in fast.

"I said do you need to sit down Lenobia?"

"No, well yes. No actually," I paused locating the staircase. "I just need to…get some fresh air, I will be back in a few minutes." I said dashing to the stair case looking over my shoulder at Alistair who had a puzzled look on his face but was still following me.

I burst out on to the roof finally able to breath. I walked to the farthest edge and sat down my legs dangling off the edge, my dress flapping in the salty wind. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14...15...16...17...18...19...20...21... It does not take more than 20 seconds to get up those stairs. Perhaps he decided not to follow me. My face fell. But it would be for the best, then why am I so sad? Why did Arl Eamon insist upon inviting me it has caused me nothing but pain!

"Still running from me I see." Came a voice right behind me, so close I jumped and almost fell off the tower. But he caught me, he saved me. Again. He lifted me off the ledge and teased "Don't jump! Your life is still very much worth it!"

Is it really I mumbled unintelligibly.

"What was that?" Alistair asked.

"Oh. Nothing. How have you been your Majesty?"

"Oh, not you too!" He laughed. "You may address me as Alistair or Grey Warden, but no other title for me shall be uttered from your lips."

"Okay."

"May I pay you a compliment?"

I pushed back a little, so I wouldn't be so near him.

"Since when do you start asking that? I cannot believe you have become so formal. That was the one thing I liked about you!" I said disbelievingly.

"Oh?" He chuckled. "You liked just the _one_ thing about me, did you now?" He laughed some more.

I chuckled a little, smiling. "Yes just the _one_ thing, well maybe there were two." I replied teasingly.

"Ah, its so relaxed around you, it feels good to just laugh openly."

"Yes, I almost forgot entirely what laughing was after…well after… everything that…happened." I said solemnly, remembering how much I have missed him and when it all went down hill after the lands meet.

"Oh, yes. The lands meet. Well are you meaning to tell me you haven't laughed in over a year!" He said lightening the mood. Something he was always good at, something I loved about him.

"Yes, well I may be guilty of a chuckle here, and a smile there."

"Oh I see, well then I suppose I do not have to send you to the dungeon if you've at least been chuckling." He said smiling. Reminding me how much I missed his smile. Suddenly he bowed extremely low to me offered his hand and said may I have this dance my lady?"

I took his hand and replied "absolutely, my lord, oops I mean my grey warden." I laughed.

"Yes, you must remember no other titles but the two!" Then he mumbled something, with a sad look in his eye. It sounded like "If only I still were _your_ grey warden."

He pulled me close as we danced slowly in a circle, slower than the music was going even. "So, Cullen?" He said nudging me as if to say ooh you liiike him!

"yes, what of him?" I replied smiling. He was jealous! He must still care!

"So do you like him?" He smiled at me but it wasn't quite right, it didn't reach his eyes.

"Maybe…Why do you want to know?" I teased.

"Ah, you know, just a kingly thing perhaps I will have to record you marriage in the records." He said trying to joke.

" I do not plan on you having to do that?"

"Really?" He said eyes lighting up a bit.

"Well, of course not, your not the record keeper!" I said and his face fell. "And…I don't plan on getting married!" His face really lit up then.

He stared at me. "Lenobia?"

"Yes?" I asked he looked like he was about to say something of importance.

"I…"He paused and continued but not with what he was originally going to say, he must have thought better of it. "Your hair, I like it like this very…regal."

I smiled at the unintended compliment "Thank you, and might I add your hair is looking…well like it always does" I said smiling and laughing.

He laughed too but pulled me closer until his lips were near my ear. "You look beautiful tonight, even more so than usual."

I couldn't believe my ears, I knew this was what he intended to say earlier. I pulled back a little and our faces were so close. I could smell his scent spicy, clean, like him. Like my rose. The rose pinned to my dress, the one that has some how not yet gone into death, burned. He saw it and pulled it from my dress and tucked it into my hair. His face was so close to mine.

He closed his eyes. He was going to kiss me and this was my only chance to turn back, to go to Cullen, to dance with him the one I could actually be with. But no I chose to close my eyes, to stay here with the one I've loved for all this time, the one who I need, who I want to have again. I could feel his lips so close to mine. His hands moved up to my face and mine around his neck. I missed him so much, missed this so much I almost started to cry. And just as he was closing the last bit of distance between us.

A high, shrill, intolerable, voice interrupted us.

"Alistair! There you are dearest!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I jumped back so far and so quick I almost fell over.

"I was looking for you everywhere, darling." The shrill voiced woman said moving to Alistair and hooking her arm in his, and hanging all over him. It was easy to see she was jealous, and she had every right. I looked beautiful tonight, much better than she. But little does she know I am more jealous, much, much more. She gets the opportunity to be with him. I suppose I should try to be hospitable, seeing as how this is my dance.

"hello," I said moving gracefully, or trying, over to her. I extended my hand. "who might you be?" I said with, in my opinion, a very good fake smile.

"Hello," She said accepting my hand and shook it. " I am Winona Noble of Denerim. And you are?" she told me sounding much too self righteous.

"I am Grey Warden Lenobia mage of the Tower of Ferelden." As I said it she looked more and more jealous of my popular name.

"Yes, I do believe I've heard of you."

"Yes, many people have." Alistair decided to jump into our silent fight. I hated him. I hated that I let my guard down then I find out this way that he is with this…Creature. I hate that he didn't tell me of her and almost kissed me. And I hate myself for Hating her just because I believe that kissing Alistair again could have possibly brought us back together. I want to hurt him, and I know just the thing to say.

"Well It was nice to meet you Winona, and nice to see you again Alistair," I said not trying to hide the fake smile when looking at Alistair, he should know he has hurt me even more. "But I really should be returning to my date, Cullen. Between you and me." I leaned close and fake whispered. "You might be getting invited to Cullen and my wedding if things keep on as they are!"

I pulled away and I saw Alistair flinch with pain at the words. I saw the hurt in his eyes, I saw, only because I knew what it felt like, his heart beginning to be torn from his chest and I saw him feel that pain physically. I hurt him so bad he almost doubled over. I did exactly what he did to me and deciding that was enough I happily walked, practically skipping, back down the stairwell and out of view.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Everything all right? I saw his highness follow you up." Cullen asked worriedly.

"Oh, we were discussing some matters of the grey wardens, I am very much better now. It looks as though the dance is going well though."

"Yes it is. It is a beautiful dance You and Senior Enchanter Elora have outdone yourselves." He said pulling me onto the Bench he was on. I scooted closer. Cullen just smiled, he was happy with me... And shockingly I am genuinely happy to be here next to him.

"Lenobia!" Elora walked over.

"Elora!" I called jumping up. Elora started walking over to us. I noticed Cullen was still sitting and I pulled him up next to me, interlacing our hands.

"This dance has gone beautifully! Thank you so much for helping me with this!"

"thank you so much for the idea." I told her.

"Well, I must be getting back to my date." She said giddily.

"Oh and who might that be?"

"The new senior enchanter Robert!" She said smiling brightly. I smiled too and moved closer to Cullen.

"That is wonderful! Well go, have fun!" I told her and She practically skipped away the smile on her face visible to me even with her back turned. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Irving and Wynne sitting together.

"Cullen." I whispered.

"What?" He whispered back.

"Look." I whispered pointing to Irving and Wynne with my head.

"Oh, maker. Who would have thought?" He chuckled.

"Lets go talk to them!"

We walked over to them, holding hands, and sat on the bench across from them.

"Irv- First enchanter, Wynne, it is so good to see you two here together! Enjoying yourselves I would hope?" I asked.

"Yes, we are very much so, it is a pleasure to see you are staying in the tower Lenobia." Wynne told me.

"Yes, well, I suppose this time I have reason to stay longer than my normal visits." I said shooting a quick glance at cullen. Irving just smiled.

"So Irving, enjoying your night?"

"Yes, yes I am. Wynne and I have been having wonderful conversations all night and, of course, chaperoning you young ones." Irving chuckled.

"Oh? Well that is wonderful news to hear. Did you see the king had arrived?" Cullen asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did I wonder where he is…?" Irving trailed off.

"Oh he's coming right towards us, probably dropping by to say hello. Isn't it just amazing that he made time for a small little dance in the tower of all places?" Wynne asked looking somewhere behind me, probably at the approaching king.

"Yes, just marvelous that he made it indeed." I said emotionless.

"Hello all, how are we doing?" Alistair asked pulling up two chairs, one for the lying royal bastard and one for the bitch Noble of Denerim. Cullen, right on cue, put his arm around me then, pulling me as close as possible. I just smiled up at him.

"We are doing much better than the last time you were here."

"ah that is good to see, those were grave times indeed, you recovered well I hope?" Alistair replied to Irving. They were speaking of the tower being over run by abominations.

Yes, yes I did." Irving replied.

"Good, that was a tough time, so I hope there have been no more-"

I cut him off saying, " Your Majesty, Senior Enchanter Elora and I constructed this dance for the very purpose of helping our mage and apprentice friends cope and recover from what happened during those times."

"Oh, my apologies then Lenobia, you are right we should talk of happier things."

"Yes, for example, did you know the king and his guest will be staying with us for a week here at the tower?" Wynne Said excitedly. I tensed and Cullen felt it so he stood up pulling me up with him.

"No we did not know that." Cullen said speaking on my behalf as well as his own. "But we are sorry for the abruptness but we really should be checking on other guests at the dance." We both bowed and smiled, and right before we turned away I managed a scowl at Alistair.

"Shall we go to the roof, for fresh air?" Cullen asked me looking worried. He had every right to be worried a whole week, a week of seeing his face of perfect social graces. A better way to put it: A week of true tests. I suppose they really do never end, perhaps not even in death.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"No, not the roof. Follow me." I took his hand and I led the way down the stairs, past my room, down more stairs, through the stock room, down more stairs, through the library, through a large door, and down a few steps. Then I started pulling him along with me walking in a large circle breathing in the outside air. And he was calm about it, I'm sure at first he thought I would run away from the tower, with him in tow, but no all I needed was to be on solid ground. When we were on our second lap around the tower I went to the back of it and started to sit down but Cullen pulled me up. Took out a piece of cloth in his pocket and cleaned off the stone ledge I was about to sit on. I sat down then and he sat next to me. I took off my shoes and stuck my feet over the edge and let them rest in the water. Shockingly he did the same and then took off his jacket and put it on my shoulders. He put his arm around me and hugged me close.

"I remember him now." Cullen said breaking the silence.

"Remember who?"

"The king."

"Well of course you do he is our king and the one who led us into the blight and he was one of two remaining grey wardens." I spoke of Alistair's achievements simply as if they mattered not.

"Well I know that but tonight when he spoke of the abominations, and being here, I remembered seeing him. I remembered when I thought you were a demon, an illusion, like so many of the others sent to me in your form. I went on telling you of the demons playing on my fantasies and he was there, you were calm the whole time, you didn't yell at me for embarrassing you in front of your loved one or anything you just continued on trying to get through to me. And I noticed that with every bit I revealed about how much I liked, well loved you, you would blush and look over to him and I realized then, without really realizing it myself, that you were with him."

"Oh, yes well we were…together for quite a while but that is no more now." I Said trying to keep the sadness from showing.

"I realize that and it makes sense to me now why you run every time you see him, why you are so reluctant to talk of anything pertaining to royalty." Cullen rubbed my back. We were silent for a long time. I couldn't believe he would notice that look, I guess he really does love me, but do I love him? Do I love him more than I love Alistair?

Cullen sighed beside me. "You still love him." He stated but it wasn't so much an observation as it was a question.

"I wish I didn't." I said tears silently rolling down my face.

"He hurt you, did he not?" Cullen asked calmly not even mad or sad that I still loved Alistair, or if he was, he was an expert at hiding it.

I just shook my head yes, unable to talk. Cullen just pulled me closer, pulling my freezing feet out of the water, and he sat me in his lap, so my legs were over his right side and my head leaning on his left shoulder. He just held me and stroked my hair. Finally he said something.

"Its going to be a tough week for you, this I know so do not even try to deny it. But I promise you Lenny," He used my childhood nickname, making more tears well up and spill over. "I will do my best to make it at least a little less tough for you, I'll even punch him if it is needed." He said to me, standing up and carrying me. Then he chuckled to himself. I looked up at him with a questioning look on my tear stained face.

"Well," He said smiling. "I was just thinking could you see me actually punching the king of Ferelden?" he asked laughing. As I pictured such an even I laughed too and when we got to the steps to go inside I got up and walked with him by my side into the tower and up to my room.

"Are you going to be all right?"

"Yes, I have D-O-G waiting for me in my room." I started to open the door, but before I got it open even halfway Cullen pulled me into him and kissed me. It was so gentle and caring, it was the perfect kiss for a time like this, and perhaps even from the perfect guy?

"Good night len, sleep tight." He told me. I walked into my room and practically jumped onto my bed. Its been a long time since I felt this happy.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_**Knock, Knock, Knock. I heard on my door. The middle of the night, who could be knocking? I got up and went to the door.**_

"_**Who Is it?" I asked.**_

_**No answer.**_

"_**Hello?" I called.**_

_**Still no answer. Cautiously I opened the door, and stepped into the hallway. Then it all crumbled around me and I was standing in a forest. There was a small girls giggle behind me. I turned around and gasped. The spitting image of Morrigan stood behind me.**_

"_**Morrigan?" I asked cautiously.**_

_**The little girl just giggled then glanced to the right. I looked over there and a wolf was howling which then turned into a boy who was laughing.**_

"_**Are you two Lost?" I asked the little kids. They both looked like Morrigan, like each other, they must be twins.**_

_**The kids just shook their head no, then ran off laughing playing tag so quickly I could hardly see them, their giggles echoed endlessly. I took a step forward and then everything changed. I recognized this place all too well. The fade, more particularly the fade where I took my harrowing. Cautiously I took soundless steps through this realm. Until I came upon the mouse.**_

"_**Hello, old friend." The mouse said as he transformed into his human mirage.**_

"_**Shall I call you by your true name or by mouse?" I asked the pride demon.**_

"_**Mouse will do, mage."**_

"_**Why am I here and why are you not trying to use me to get to the other side?" I asked mouse who remained in human image.**_

"_**How could I use you now? You know me, you foiled my plans much before I expected the first time I encountered you. You were strong then and even stronger now. What would be the point?" He told me. "see, even now," He continued. "after I told you all of that you did not let your guard waver."**_

"_**Yes, well I have good reason to believe, due to your own advice, that this is yet another test."**_

"_**Well, Perhaps everything is a test even when unintended to be." Suddenly he changed into his true demonic form and everything went red.**_

"_**Beware, Mage, Looks can be deceiving. Even the seemingly most innocent of people will turn out to harness much more power than you could ever imagine."**_

I awoke in a cold sweat, my heart beating fast, holding back a terrified scream.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I pulled on my robes and walked out my door smack into Cullen.

"Hello there." He said catching me before I could fall. "I was just on my way to see how you were doing, darling."

"I'm a bit frazzled." I told him.

"Oh," he said looking in the direction of Alistair's room. "Well, then perhaps some breakfast will help?"

"yes, perhaps." I said even though I knew eating would only nauseate me further. Cullen took my arm and led me down the hallway to the dining hall. We sat down in silence and I picked at my food.

"Is something else wrong, len?" he asked me, concerned.

"No, 'tis nothing." I lied, attempting to smile. I would not tell anyone of my upsetting dream, I do not know what came over me but it was probably nothing more than a bad dream triggered by all the excitement of the previous night. As if on cue Alistair took a seat at out table looking at us he said,

"I hope neither of you mind my sitting here, D-O-G decided to drag me here." He said looking down at my Mabari. Who instantly trotted over to me, I put my plate, barely touched, on the floor and he started eating. Cullen shot a brief glare at Alistair.

"Lenobia, do you mind if we speak today? Perhaps in the Senior enchanters library?" Alistair said minding all of his social graces, as king. I say, as I'm sure Oghren would say, forget the sodding graces! But in my exhausted state I submitted to using them anyway.

"yes, your highness." I said it just to bug him.

Alistair got up, "I will see you there then."

Cullen stood and held out his hand, "I will escort my lady if it so pleases her." He said smiling, I couldn't help but smile back.

"It would please her very much so." I took his hand in mine and we walked down the hallway and up to the third floor containing the senior enchanters library.

Cullen paused at the door putting his hands on either side of my face. "Lenny, if you need me at all for any reason I will be in this hallway no where short of ear shot of the library in case you need me." I nodded to him and he kissed my forehead. And in I walked to the empty library and there stood Alistair.

"She certainly was a horrible one wasn't she?" He asked me.

"Winona? Oh no, not at all she was… socially challenged." I said putting the insult lightly, no need to be sent to the dungeon like Anora.

"No need to be polite Lenobia, we are alone and I have left her."

"You two are no longer together? Alistair I'm sorry." I said taking a few steps toward him and placing my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"no don't be, I let Dezrina, a servant in the castle In charge of the interviews, convince me to date her. It was a mistake, but she has been sent back to her home in Highever."

"Oh I see well then in honor of your break up I say good riddens to the dirty wench!" I told him jokingly and he laughed. I don't know why it is my instinct to protect him and comfort him but it is and for some reason I cannot over come it.

"Agreed!" he laughed but it did not sound right, something was troubling him.

"What troubles you, my king?" I asked.

He sighed and shook his head. "When I return to the castle, tomorrow, there will be another long line of women wanting to marry me. It isn't at all what I wanted, but Eamon says," he continued in a mocking tone. "You must get married as soon as possible for the good of Ferelden!"

"Wait, tomorrow? You're leaving tomorrow? I thought you were staying this whole week?" I asked puzzled.

"No, now that Winona has returned I must go on back to Denerim to find a new candidate." Relief and sadness washed over me at the thought of him leaving.

"Hmm, well I hope all goes well with that."

"perhaps soon you will return to Denerim with me, to help keep me in my right mind?" He laughed.

"Perhaps, but right now the tower is my home with Cullen and Irving and Wynne." I told him, seeing him wince at the words home and Cullen. I remembered when one day at camp we were discussing our true homes and I had told him 'my home is with the grey wardens, with you." and in one statement I knocked both of those out of his head.

"Yes, I suppose so. Well perhaps someday soon you will make it up there, we are having another lands meet soon, to decide some minor things, you are welcome there, and needed there since you are Fereldens hero." He told me. There was permanent hurt in his eyes, as had been in mine since my first lands meet.

"Well," Alistair continued. "I really should be packing, I leave at dawn tomorrow morning."

"Good luck in your travels your highness, perhaps I will travel to Denerim to discuss with you matters of the grey wardens." We bowed to each other and he left. Just then a book fell off of a shelf. I went over to pick it up and recognized this shelf. This was the shelf Duncan was standing at when I talked to him in the tower. I picked up the book entitled 'Dwarves and Magic' It was of no interest to me I had read it before. I went to put it back but behind it there was a small blood red book with black script on the front. I pulled it out before tucking the dwarves book back into place. I moved to a desk and sat down.

In black writing on the cover it said: E Parma Os E Teiraesor Iluvve

I recognized it as Elvish, but I did not know how to speak or even translate this ancient script.

On the inside cover more Elvish read: Ilya shai mael e eilaes ana e ialyrn mar shi vaerdasaer

Shor oli jhyl ailai sor Parma.

Sher Shaerdasi oli jhyl tal tali jhori

ThYSAeLAeS!

I closed the book, taking it as a warning, I would go and find someone who could speak or at least translate ancient Elvish. I tucked the book in my pack and walked down the hall, Cullen nowhere in sight, I ducked into my room for a quick nap, I was exhausted.

_**I look around, green trees everywhere, the wind making noises. I listen closely, not just noises but words.**_

_**Lis-listen-en. We can help you-you. It whispered. Again they said List-listen-en we can help-elp you-ou. Then big green branches like arms pulled me up into the tree, I was so close to the clouds I could touch them. The wind stopped and I heard someone say: Help, help me! I saw an elves face flash through my mind. She had a tattoo on her forehead and bright blue eye shadow on. Again there was a cry for help only in Elvish: Caer, Caer ti! She cried. Then whispers again as the tree sat me down on the ground the whispers overlapped one in my language one in Elvish : Kedi caes, eil mi shor caer o. guide her, and she will help you. It continued chanting in both languages.**_

I sat up right getting the little red book out of my pack, I flipped it over and on the back it read:

_Maker, help the one who looks into this book._

What on earth could be so wrong with a book? A shiver traveled down my spine. Time to go see Alistair. Wonderful. I rolled my eyes and pulled myself off my bed.

Note: If you want elvish in your fanfic, message me and I will reply with the link to the translator!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

As I walked down the hallway I realized it was about 10 at night. I knocked on Alistair's door. A few seconds later it opened and he stepped back letting me in.

"we need to talk." I remembered the last time I told him that we needed to talk. About us. I shook my head to clear it, its not the time to remember lost words now.

"About?" he asked.

"About this book." I held out the little red book.

"Is this…elvish?" he asked me.

"I think so, do you know how to decipher it?"

"no, where did you find it?" he asked taking the book.

"Don't, look through it I'm pretty sure the first page has a warning." he handed the book back to me. "I found it in the library, it was on this shelf Duncan was standing by, once when I first met him without others around, it was behind the book 'Dwarves and magic'." I informed him.

"hmmm, Duncan?"

"Yes, he had pulled out the book dwarves and magic forever ago I think he hid this back there."

"What made the book fall from the shelf?" he asked.

"Alistair, I honestly do not know, it's a little weird actually. Anyways I came here to ask if you knew anyone who could decipher this?"

"No, I don't sorry." He told me.

"Okay then thank you." I tucked the book away and walked to the door opening it.

"Lenobia, wait, we need to talk." I paused in the door way not turning around. "About us." He finished. My stare went blank remembering the last time we talked about us.

_I walked up to him in camp after our…break up. _

"_Ask away." he said looking as though he had just finished crying. I hadn't been able to cry, everyone was always watching me, instead my eyes are still filled with tears not allowed to spill over._

"_I want to talk. About us."_

"_Really? I was pretty sure we'd already said everything that needed saying._

"_Are you okay?" I asked him wanting him to say: No. No, I am not. Not without you, not ever. So I was thinking, and this may be crazy and wrong but, if they wont let you be my my queen then we shall run away together, perhaps to the southern hills just next to the Brecillian Forrest. No one would look there. And we will live together and love each other freely forever. I love you, what do you say?_

_But he didn't say that instead he said "Not really, no. But that doesn't change the facts does it? I love you." My heart ached every time he said that. He continued, "I will always love you." Another sharp pain, as if he had just stabbed his sword through my heart. But he continued on, "But there are things that are more important than what I want. I wish it were otherwise."_

"_I know. I just wish it were easier." I told him, needing to cry, wondering how I would ever make it through this, perhaps I should just let the Arch Demon kill me. 'Tis too painful to live this way, and yet I still make sure he is okay rather than even worry about myself, rather than even be offended that he acts as if there is no affect on me. Instead I take care of him, I make sure he is okay and all I get in return is a shredded, beaten, broken heart._

"_I don't think anything's supposed to be easy about being a king. Or a Grey Warden. We have a job to do, so please…lets just focus on that. Thinking about you is too painful. And too tempting." He ended out conversation. Me as hurt as ever, him not even noticing._

"Lenobia?" Alistair said my name calling me back to the present. I decided to use some of his lines during this conversation.

"Really?" I asked. "I was pretty sure we had already said everything that needed saying." I said trying not to spit the words hatefully. I heard him sigh.

"Please, sit down?" He gestured to a seat, I turned and sat on down. "Lenobia, Just listen to me." he began but I cut him off.

"Just listen to you? Just listen to _you_?" I said exasperated. "You don't even realize, Alistair, that that is all I did, all I do, Is just listen to you say _you_ still love me, say _you_ miss me! _I _listen to you say being a king and Grey Warden is hard. But not once since the Lands Meet have _you_ listened to _me_, you didn't even see the pain in _me_, you never even asked me if I was okay! _you_ just expected _me _to except it!" I said loudly.

"I-I didn't realize." He said shocked taking a few steps towards me.

"_I know_! That's what all of this is about! Its about you never taking a second to look at how this might affect me." I said close to tears. I was so angry and so sad. "Its about how you always had your head up your own ass!"

"Lenobia, I'm sorry." He said moving towards me wiping away a single tear that had escaped down my cheek. "I never realized- I can't believe I couldn't see, all this time I thought you were okay, you were always the tough one, the leader." He said, sorrow heavy in his voice.

"I know, everyone thought that, everyone figured I was fine, that's why I'm not, no one ever asked how I was, they only asked you how you were taking it, I even had people ask me how you were doing." I said softly, no longer on the verge of yelling. He put both his hands gently on either side of my face looking me in the eyes.

"Lenobia, How are you doing?" He asked me, genuinely concerned. It may be late but I managed to smile just a little.

"Better, a lot better. Thank you, Alistair, for having this conversation with me." I smiled, relieved I finally got a little bit of closure, I got to tell him somewhat how I felt about him. We both stood up. Then he hugged me and I hugged back and we just stood there for a long time.

He pulled back a little, arms still around me. Wee just stared at each other and then, then he kissed me. Gently, but it was a long kiss. We smiled at each other and gave one more quick kiss then he said "Lenobia, I want you to-" He was cut off by a templar standing in his door open mouthed and hurt.

"Cullen." I breathed stepping out of Alistair's embrace. "I-I'm so sorry."

"No, No its perfectly fine. I'll just go to my quarters now and try to piece my broken heart back together. Goodnight." He said and walked away. I ran after him

"Cullen wait! I didn't mean to kiss him it-it just happened and." I gave up mid-sentence the hurt in his eyes hit me so hard I nearly tumbled over backwards "It was a-" I was cut off by Alistair who was now in the hallway.

"A mistake?" He finished for me, I didn't have to turn around to see the hurt in his eyes, I could hear it in his voice.

Cullen started to walk away then and I took a step towards him, but I heard Alistair's footsteps retreating and I took a step towards him. Then they both were gone, and I was alone. Again. I sank down to the floor in a puddle of my own tears, and fell asleep weeping.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Irving?"

"Yes, come in."

I hugged him. "'Tis time for me to leave again, it was so nice to see you."

"Yes, Yes I understand. Well," He hugged me tighter. "Until next time." And with that he let me go. And out I went quickly. I stopped at my room and picked up my suitcase and D-O-G Followed me to Cullen's door where I knocked.

"Coming." He opened the door and when he saw it was me shut it in my face.

Through the door I said," Cullen if you wish not to speak to me I understand, But I know what it is like to be hurt, and not get to say what you need to say. So I am giving you an opportunity to tell me whatever you wish."

"You're a- A- a wonderful girl Lenobia. I'm sorry you chose him, but I understand." I started crying then, I did not deserve these kind words. I knocked and he opened the door, and hugged me.

Into his ear I whispered "Cullen, I do not deserve your kind words, much less the kindness of your heart I am so sorry. But I promise to treat you differently than I was treated in my worst of times. I want to make sure your okay. Call me a ruthless evil bitch if you must, for that is what I am."

"No, you are beautiful, and perfect, perhaps we will cross paths again, as friends?"

"Yes, as friends." I agreed and pulled out of the hug, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I picked up my bags and left the tower.

Its been days, but I can't bring myself to stop traveling. I continue towards Denerim knowing exactly where I am going, but not knowing why. The tree above me rustled, but there was no wind.

"Who's there?" I asked drawing my staff. "Show yourself!" I picked up my staff ready to shoot a fireball and expose them. I shielded myself with rock armor. When I did this a small woman dropped from the trees. An elf, furthermore a Dalish.

"Dammit you weren't shooting me you were putting armor on!" she cursed herself for being too early.

"who are you?" I asked readying my staff.

"I am Shiri, and you need my help."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Uh-huh, sure I do." I said sarcastically eyeing her, perhaps she is crazy?

"I am not crazy!" She said as if hearing my thoughts.

"What?" I took a step back aiming my staff.

"Um, no need to get hasty and try to kill a poor elf," then she continued saying under her breath "Not that I would be missed."

"Your Shiri, clearly a Dalish, how do you know of me." Well that was a stupid question.

Shiri echoed my thoughts, "Well that was a stupid question! Your Lenobia Mage and Grey Warden of Ferelden you helped stop the blight! You even fought next to the king! Who doesn't know about you?"

"I guess everyone knows of me. And yes, I did all of those things, so clearly I can handle myself why would you, One, Sneak up on me and Two, claim I need your help?"

"Well because, I need your help, so I was hoping you would help me if I helped you with something." She said sheepishly. I resisted rolling my eyes and I put my staff on my back the familiar cold of the Winters breath returning. At least she didn't just outright expect me to help her.

"Fine, I will help you. With what do you need help?" I asked patiently, a quest could preoccupy my mind away from-I winced.

"Well, I was expelled from my Dalish Clan, and I have no where to go…" She trailed off.

"Okay Lets make camp and talk, but first, what happened to your leg?" I asked curiously leaning my head to one side.

"Oh, you notice everything. Um It was bitten by a wolf, its made it hard to walk and that is why I did not sneak up on you better."

"I see." I said reaching behind me to grab my pack, Shiri's eyes widened in terror, no doubt thinking I was going to grab my staff. I laughed a little "I'm not going to kill you, I'm going to heal you." I told her grabbing a lesser injury kit out of my pack and patching her up. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Lenobia."

I nodded and started to silently set up camp. Shiri kept glancing at me clearly unsure of what to say. I suppose I will have to start this conversation.

"so you hail from the Brecillian forest?"

"Currently we are set up in the Southron Hills."

"Ah, I see, so why exactly have you been expelled?" I asked settling down on my blanket.

"I am…Unnatural." I gave her a questioning look and so she continued. "I have been orphaned since I was an infant. Ashalle took care of me. I suppose, as a young child one day I came back with a bite on my arm, I couldn't remember where it came from and then I had a terrible Illness. I was unconscious for over a week. Then when I woke up I felt fine, nothing was different." She stopped.

"So you got expelled because…you weren't different?"

"No, later just about the time of the blight, something began to change in me. I could, sense the dark ones, sense their thoughts."

"I can-" I almost said I can do that too but that would put too much out there about Grey Warden abilities and I do not yet know this woman fully. "Never mind continue."

"So, anyways, I didn't tell anyone, but after the blight I began to be able to sense animals thoughts, I first noticed it when I walked by the Halla pen. Then 3 months later I could sense Humans thoughts. It worried me so I told my keeper. My Keeper, Marethari, Told Paivel and Merrill. They all three decided it was best for the clan as a whole if I left. I was outraged and wondered why they would want me to live amongst Shem. But they just took me out of the camp and left me there forbidding me from ever returning."

"I see. But I do not know how I will be able to help."

"Yes me either, but I am sure we can figure it out." She yawned, and lay down to go to sleep. I lay back and look up at the stars, all so beautiful. I sigh, wondering if my life will ever work out and just be happy, before I die my early death. I close my eyes and for a split second a shadow hovered over me. I opened my eyes, and looked into the trees, but found nothing. Perhaps, in my tired state, I am simply imagining things. I yawn and fall asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I awoke the sun just rising, and sat up, Shiri was cooking something.

"That smells pleasant, in camp we used to wake up to a stench most of the time al-" I could not bring myself to say his name. "Lets just say, towards the beginning our cook wasn't the best." I smiled.

"Well Hopefully this tastes as good as it smells." Shiri smiled at me.

There was a rustle in the trees and I looked up. "Did you hear that?" I asked.

"No, hear what?"

"Nothing just thought I heard something in the trees…probably just birds." We ate and then packed up our camp.

Shiri asked me cheerfully "So where are we going?"

"I suppose we are closest to Denerim, no? We should Continue there to get supplies."

"Oh how exciting! I've never been in a city before!"

"Really? I had a friend traveling with me once, she too had rarely been inside a city, when she got there she asked if 'twas always filled with people and markets."

"I'm sure its quite a sight to see!" Shiri said excitedly babbling on about all the different things she could see in the city, then she stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" I asked ready to draw my staff.

"I hear, a waterfall, I could use a bath, do you mind…?" She trailed off.

"No, lets go, you can bathe first then I will." We walked towards the waterfall and I sat down as she went to go bathe. I lay down in the grass and closed my eyes, smiling. Shiri's utter happiness was contagious. How could she be so happy, though? She is in dark times, she has no family and yet she smiles. 'Tis yet another thing I lack. How am I such a great hero anyhow? I opened my eyes and sat up as Shiri skipped into view.

"Your turn!" She shouted and skipped over to where I was, I smiled and walked towards the waterfall. It was beautiful, trees surrounded the outside and thick bushes surrounded right outside the edge, the perfect amount for privacy. Behind a bush I removed my robes and eased into the cool water. it's a warm day so the water feels nice. I go under a few times then I hear someone approaching. "hello?" I call swimming towards my staff. I get out and dress hurriedly. Holding my staff I speak with more strength. "Show yourself!"

"Ah, Lenobia, it has been too long, no?" An invisible presence asked. I faintly recognized the voice but I could not place it.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The presence replied with mock hurt "You do not remember? Oh that does hurt me."

I could feel the person on the ground, so I took my staff and raised it up, "You have 3 seconds to show yourself, rogue, before I shake the invisible right out of you!" I paused. "3...2...1..." I slammed my staff down and created an earthquake. There was a man laying on the ground at the far edge of the waterfall, I ran over to him.

He looked up at me and said "I feel like we have been in this position before." And smiled weakly up at me.

"Yes and the circumstances seem very much the same, speak or be killed."

"Yes well, I'm not with crows still, and I'm single" He wagged his eyebrows at me, "and I could-"

I cut him off "I know, Zevran, warm my bed." I rolled my eyes. "Why have you been following me?"

"Me? Following you?" He asked playing dumb.

"Quit the act, Zevran" I said through my teeth pointing my staff at him.

"Yes, well, you see I stumbled upon you walking dazedly through Ferelden, I wondered what you were up to so I decided to follow you to find out."

"Yes, because that is so much less trouble then just asking me." I rolled my eyes again.

"But would you really tell me?" he asked inquisitively.

"Perhaps you are right." he eyes my staff.

"So the offer still stands, I can help you, carry equipment or I'm still very much up for…warming your bed." He smiled.

"That's quite all right." I withdrew my staff. "Stand up, you may travel with me if you like, though I'm not quite as exciting as I used to be. And I will need none of the bed warming services."

"ah, still with Alistair then?"

"No." I said my heart breaking a little more inside my chest.

"Then you are…single?" He moved towards me.

"Yes, and unavailable." I've broken enough hearts and had mine broken plenty enough as well, I thought.

"It is a shame to see such a beautiful woman be so filled with sorrow. My condolences, but may I ask what did happen to you and Alistair, now that he is the king you are not… good enough?"

"No, nothing like that, more like now that he is the king 'tis impossible for us to be together."

Zevran scoffed "Impossible is such an…impossible word." he chuckled a little. "It is no excuse to leave a beautiful woman heartbroken, as he clearly has." Zevran put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Zevran." He dropped his hand eyes widening.

"And," He said stepping over to Shiri, "Who may this lovely creature be?" Shiri looked taken aback when he kissed her hand and she fingered her Dar'Misu's on her back. I smiled.

"This is Shiri, I just met her myself, and Shiri this is Zevran, he is pretty much harmless, except that his flirting may kill you, but that's as deadly as he gets." I smiled trying to encourage a relationship between the two, I had never seen Zevran look at another like that, not as if she was just a beautiful elf but as if she was Andraste and he the maker. It looked like the possibility of true love.

"it is a pleasure to meet you Zevran, if you are a friend of Lenny's, you are a friend of mine." She smiled and they continued a conversation but my heart squeezed when she called me Lenny. Very few know me by that name, and I am not the type to give nicknames to…how did she know?

I interrupt them, nicely "hey guys, we should probably get going, we are losing daylight."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

We traveled in silence for much of the day. No one really said anything, I suppose we were all contemplating things. D-O-G was happy to travel with other people again, it's the only life he had ever known with me. He was excited to see Zevran and Meet Shiri, and they gave him attention, laughing.

I keep looking at them in front of me, playing with D-O-G, laughing, Zevran looking upon her with great adoration. Shiri notices his gazes but doesn't act on them. I wonder if they will ever be together? Hard to say, but I Mustn't let my bad relationships ruin this one, I must remain positive.

"Well, we are about a mile from Denerim." Zevran Informed us.

"It would seem so, and the sun is setting, shall we go today or tomorrow?" I asked, looking in turn to each member of my little party.

"Umm…" Shiri said nervously, unsure. "Do we all have to go into the city?" Zevran and I looked at each other perplexed and then it dawned on me.

"your Dalish, You've never been to the city before. I can go tonight and you two can stay here, if you like?" I offered.

"Certainly!" Zevran said all too keen on alone time with Shiri. I turned to D-O-G "Boy? Do you want to go with me?" He barked happily in response and trotted after me.

A mile isn't such a long walk when your used to it, I of course, do not relish the fact that I must go to Denerim after all that had happened in the tower.

I walked past a sign talking about a trade center located near Lothering, a village that had been lost to the blight, but re-built recently. I pulled from my pack the present I got from Alistair. My rose, which I have deemed magical, because a year later it is still alive. I pull it out and look at it, as a couple petals fall off, this happens every now and then but usually its only one. I know its silly, I cant believe I'm allowing the thought, but maybe its kept alive by our love? No, no that is ridiculous! I remember when I first got this rose, I smile and pull it up to my nose.

_Here, Look at this. Do you know what this is?" Alistair asks walking up to me holding out a rose._

"_That's a rose." I answered smiling._

"_I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'how could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since."_

"_That's a nice sentiment." I replied simply. But really I could say so much more to him, but the way he feels about me is so…uncertain._

_I thought that I might… give it to you, actually." He paused and I felt a small smile break out on my face. "In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you."_

"_I… don't know what to say." I told him truthfully. While my mind was screaming he thinks your beautiful! He thinks your beautiful! He is giving you a rose!_

"_I guess it's a bit silly, isn't it? I just thought… here I am doing all this complaining , and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experiences of being a Grey Warden Since your joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. Its all been death and fighting and tragedy. I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this…darkness._

_What do I say? I cant just stand here like a smiling fool! I've felt the same way about him since I first saw him, heard him talking, at Ostagar. "I feel the same way about you."_

_He smiled softly. "I'm glad you like it." He paused his face changing into this half mischievous look, a look I suddenly love. "Now… if we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it." He smiled._

_I know he is joking, he feels awkward so that's what he does. I couldn't help but laugh out loud, the suddeness of this comment was too much not to. Laughing I said, " And you were doing so well to."_

_He laughed a bit smiling and said " Oh? Your loss, then. All the ladies go on and on about how suave I am." Then putting a small air of arrogance into his words, still smiling he continued " I don't know how you resist me like you do." I thought to myself, trust me its harder than you can imagine. Truth be told fear of rejection is the only thing that keeps me at bay. Then he got this distracted like look on his face. _

"_Oh, look, is that a cloud? I suspect rain." then he started humming and twisting his foot looking away. I laughed and walked over to retire to my tent._

"welcome to Denerim, my lady." A guard said opening gates for me. I quickly nodded and wiped the smile off my face tucking my rose into my pack. I pulled up the hood of my cloak, hiding my face. I don't know why I still take these cautions, if Alistair sees me he sees me. What is the point truly? I sighed, and looked to my Mabari. "well, here we go boy, Lenobia has been missing from Ferelden for much to long." I said pulling the cloak off. D-O-G barked happily and went to play with some children, they gathered around me.

"Its Lenobia!" A small boy shouted to the others.

"Oh, Miss Lenobia, I hope to be just like you some day!" A girl said.

"Will you tell us some stories?" A boy asked. I opened my mouth to begin one, but a chantry priest stepped out.

"Now now children." She said herding them away. "I'm sure she is quite busy and you have learning to do!" And they all left. I walked to the wonders of Thedas.

"Hello, welcome to the wonders of Thedas." A tranquil told me, I looked through his wares, buying a few health poultices and some injury kits. I also bought some new robes, the same style, robes very few mages had, but I needed new ones mine are far too stained with mud and blood.

I left the shop into a small group of people mumbling things about how it is true Lenobia is here. And a couple people asked me for fighting advice, I reply as always I am not the one to answer those sorts of questions for I only command magic. I walked away and into the Gnawed Noble Tavern. I sat down at the bar.

"what'll it be miss?"

"Just an ale is fine." I told him handing him 1 silver and 6 bits. A woman sitting next to me smiled and looked over at me.

"Drinking alone?"

"I could ask you the same."

"true, Well I am, but I am also meeting up with someone here. Is the same true for you?"

"No, I'm just having a rare drink to relax. Then I'm off to travel with some friends."

"Ah, where to?"

"I think the Southron hills."

"Did you hear they are putting a trading post up near there?" She asked turning towards me. She had long reddish brown hair, dull green eyes, and she was slender. Something seemed familiar about her face. She smiled.

"Yes I did."

"You're…Lenobia, aren't you?"

"yes, yes I am. Easy to recognize, eh?" She seemed like a nice enough person.

"With the tattoos, but if you didn't have those…" She trailed off squinting trying to see me without tattoos. "oh my maker!" She exclaimed.

"What?" I asked alarmed.

"Lenny?"

"How do you know that name? Who are you?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

"Oh, maker! I can't believe its actually you!"

"who are you?" But that face lit up in excitement I recognized it right away. "Ash- Ashrylen?" She wrapped me into a hug.

"Yes its me! I didn't recognize you with your tattoos!" We sat back down. "So you are the Lenobia who stopped the blight?"

"yes I am. I cannot believe its you! What are you doing these days."

"oh, nothing just…being a noble!" She shrieked.

"Oh maker? Are you serious? How did you manage that?" I asked excitedly, reverting to my much, much younger days.

"A noble man fell in love with mum, after mum and dad split."

"Wow, that's amazing, too bad about your parents though."

"Yeah, but I already knew it would happen, you did too, of course. Remember the fights?"

"Yes, yes I do. That's the reason you spent so many nights at my house because of them."

"So, when did you get your tattoos?"

"Oh, I was a teenager in the tower, I had nothing better to do and I was tired of feeling like every other mage, even though I was quite different, I was very powerful. I still wanted the tattoos to...reinvent myself, so I got them." I smiled.

"Wow, my mom would kill me! Still and I'm 23!" we laughed together.

"So, about parents, do you…know where mine are?" I asked shyly.

"You haven't seen them?"

"No, I was busy with the blight and all and then I didn't have the first clue where to look."

"Yeah, they moved, but I'm not sure where. I'm sorry." she said sympathetically.

"No, don't be sorry. I'll find them eventually, I'll ask around or see if I can find them in some records." I smiled, not wanting her to feel bad, then I remembered something she said earlier. "So you said your meeting someone here? Who?"

"Well…it's a guy." A huge smile broke out on her face. "He is wonderful, I've been out on 2 dates with him and this is the third in a week! We aren't extremely serious or anything yet, but I do so hope we become so soon! He is very sweet and funny and charming and he has the greatest eyes. And when he smiles, oh Lenny! He is perfect!"

I smiled, happy she found someone. "He certainly sounds it. So 3 dates in a week? Impressive, do you remember when we were younger and you had five different boys after your affection at once?" We both laughed.

"Oh yes! There was Tomas, Billy, Connor, Freddie, oh and Len, what was that last one?"

"Um, he had the most unusual name…" Then we both shouted in laughter at the same time. "Thorton!" We were laughing hysterically recounting what each of them did for her attention when a voice came from behind us.

"There you are, love. Enjoying yourself I see, and who might this be?"

Ashrylen turned around "Lenobia this is-"

She didn't have to finish for me I knew the voice. "Alistair." I said, smile fading, we both stood.

"You two know each other?" Ashrylen asked confused.

"Yes, we traveled together, as grey wardens, remember the stories?" Alistair said, gaze fixed on me.

"Yes I remember now! How amazing that you both should know each other, I forget that Lenobia here is the one of tales." She smiled at me.

"yes…well I should let you get to your date, then." I forced a smile, and hugged Ashrylen. I crossed my arms over my chest and bowed. "Your majesty."

"well, Len, I live in Denerim, now, on my own, you must stop by sometime!"

"I absolutely will have to, Ashrylen, it was good to see you again after so many years. But I really must be heading back to my friends." I turned to leave but Alistair couldn't have it.

"Friends?"

"Zevran and Shiri, if you must know. Now I must be off to them or they may start to worry."

"Your with Zev- Never mind, we must speak soon, about the grey wardens, anyhow. When Will you be able?"

"I do not know at the moment."

"Perhaps tomorrow morning?"

"I suppose so…" I trailed off and took my chance to escape, fleeing to the door and out of the city, back to camp.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The next morning we packed up.

"So, we must go to Denerim now no matter what, are you up for it Shiri?" I asked hauling my pack onto my back.

"Yes, but why?"

"I promised the king I would discuss matter with him."

"The King? Really that's an honor! But why do you sound so cross about it?" She asked looking from me to Zevran.

"The king and I have a…sorted past."

"Oh…?" Shiri trailed, clearly wanting to know more.

Zevran started in "Yes the king and herself used to…be together," he paused waggling his eyebrows. "When they were both grey wardens."

"You're not grey wardens anymore?" Shiri asked looking confused.

"No, we are, that's what we are discussing today."

"So Zev said used to…what happened?"

"We broke up." I answered simply.

"It hardly sounds as simple as that." Shiri observed, looking to Zevran for answers.

Zevran shrugged. "That's as much as I know."

"Okay, fine, since you both must know, him being a king we could no longer be together, because we were both grey wardens, some complications arose. We parted after the arch demon was slain, only to have to continue to see each other, for business. Its extremely complicated… and truthfully that only says the half of it."

"He gave you the rose?" Shiri asked.

"How did you know about that?" I ask shocked.

"I- well I haven't been entirely honest."

"Good day and welcome to Denerim." the guard at the gates said. We walked in.

"I will have to tell you later, too many listening ears." I sighed and handed them 3 sovereigns.

"Here, this should be enough, we need a little food, another tent or at least sleeping blanket for Zevran, and whatever supplies we are missing. You two can get those and then wait in the market place when you are done. We can meet in front of the gates at noon. I will see you later." We parted waving, and d-o-g beside me barking goodbye. D-O-G and I went to the royal palace where we were greeted by a servant and led through long corridors into a formal meeting hall. Alistair walked in a few minutes later, a big smile on his face when d-o-g jumped up and licked him.

"Lenobia." He said walking near me.

"Alistair." I said bowing my head slightly.

"I, um, I'm glad to see you."

"As I you." I told him formally.

"Enough of these formalities! Let us go to my office room." He led us down the hall and to a room on the right.

"This certainly is your private room isn't it?" I asked laughing, observing the statues of golems, and other statuettes. I picked up a bottle of wine. "you kept this?" I asked turning towards him.

He chuckled. "yes, if you didn't notice most everything on that wall were things you found and gave me on our adventures. You did spoil me."

"I guess I did…what's this?" I asked picking up a key.

"Oh." He started laughing. "Do you remember when we got captured after killing Arl Howe?"

"Yes…" I laughed. "This is the key off the guards body?"

"Yes, I couldn't let such a fantastic memory of your acting skills go to waste, so I kept that as a reminder." He laughed. I put the key back down.

"Wow, you have the whole palace, and nothing in it reflects on you more than this room." I smiled taking a seat at a small table. He sat across from me.

"So, the grey wardens…do we need more?" He asked me getting to business, and I realized I had totally and completely let myself relax around him.

"Well, we are all going to meet in Ostagar soon, for it will be the second year anniversary of Duncan and Cailan's death. But right now we have only 3 other grey wardens."

"A total of 5 is not many. Not that we need 20 because there is no blight threatening us…unless…you've had any dreams?"

"no, well I have had strange dreams, but none relating to darkspawn or the Arch demon."

"Okay good me either. At Ostagar we could induct new grey wardens. Probably 5 more, at least, but no more than 7."

"Yes, then of course the problem is finding those...worthy and we should get seven because chances of survival."

"Agreed. So anything else we need to discuss?"

"Not that I can think of, the grey wardens should be taken care of, I already contacted an Orlesian grey warden who will teach us both how to make the joining, and I have a mage coming to help with that." I informed him, professionally.

"Okay, that's perfect. So, nothing else?" He asked me.

"No, not that I have, anyhow."

"Okay, now it has been almost two years since…Duncan's…death, and I was thinking about going up to Highever to put up a statue for him, and I recall you saying you wanted to come along, unless of course that has changed?"

"No, I would love to come along." What am I saying? No its okay I'm not going for Alistair I'm going for Duncan, for the grey wardens.

"Okay great, I know you are quite busy being famous, so when could we go?"

"Well I know you are quite busy being a king, and a ladies magnet…I believe you claimed all the ladies go on and on about how suave you were." We both laughed.

"You actually remember me saying that?"

"Of course I do! It was when you gave me my rose."

"Ah, yes, well how about we set up a time after Ostagar?"

"Certainly. Anything else?"

"Well, no, but if your not busy we could always find something to talk about."

"Well, it is only eleven and I have another hour yet, I don't see why not." My Mabari barked happily.

"Shiri? Will you be okay?" Zevran asked me.

"yes, thank you for your concern. But the city its so...interesting. There are so many people, shem's nonetheless, but still."

"Well there is the Alienage." Zevran suggested.

"No! do not even get me started on those elves, they could leave any time and find us Dalish, but they don't." I said angrily.

"Alright enough about the Alienage then."

"Where do you come from?" I saw a beautiful city when he looked in my eyes, but a horrible building with elves just packed in like human's keep their animals.

"Antiva. It is a beautiful city."

"It is indeed." I said then looked away.

"have you ever been there?" He asked perplexed.

"well, no but, lets just leave it at its what I need to explain today." We walked up to a merchant and Zev spoke to him, buying what we needed, always glancing back at me smiling. He wouldn't make eye contact long enough though so I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"well, we got everything we need. With plenty of time to spare."

"I'm pretty sure Lenobia planned it that way, oh and by the way never call her Lenny or Len." I informed him I remember she was so angry and sad and confused when I called her that. She may be a shem but it seems like she understands me, understands what its like to not belong. I guess in a way mages are like Dalish, only instead of being pushed from one place to the next they are confined to a single tower their whole life. Every one hates and fears them, only they can't hide like we can. Instead they are always under the watching eyes of the chantry's templar's. I cant imagine how horrible that life must have been.

"okay I wont. what are you thinking about?" Zevran interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh nothing really, do you want to get lunch or should we wait for Lenobia?"

"She will probably dine royally at the castle, we can get something to eat now, if you like?"

"Yes that would be great." Zevran bought us a meal and we sat outside on a bench and ate.

"I have a question, if I may?" Zevran asked breaking the silence.

"Okay, go ahead."

"well here's the thing: I swore an oath to you last night to serve you yes? And I understand the quest your on is of great importance to you and this is all fine and well. My question pertains to what you intend to do with me one this clan business is over with. As a point of curiosity.

"well, you could go if you wanted." I said but I don't want him to leave, I think. I…enjoy his company. Even though I've only known him a day.

"could I?" He paused. Oh no he's actually considering it! "And what if I didn't want to leave?"

"I could always use a friend." I smiled, or maybe more than friends?

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows, "Not more than friends?"

"I'd like that." I smiled widely, he returned the smile.

"So would I, I should think. It is good to know what my options might be." We finished eating and he took me on a tour through the Denerim market place.

"You two there! Hold it!" A man shouted as his group descended upon us.

"uh-oh, looks like we have trouble…" Zevran whispered to me.

"what are a couple of knife ears like yourselves doing outside the Alienage? Go back where you belong!"

"Knife ears? You might want to watch who you are talking to shemlin!"

"Give us everything you have and we'll go away and you can go back to being poor little elf servants!"

"I don't think so…" I said getting angry. The man got right up in my face. "oh yeah? Well we'll see about that!"

Zevran shouted "step away from her you fool!" at the same time I said "we sure will!" and we both drew our weapons. Zevran sank his daggers repeatedly into the first guy as I went and fought off the other three, sinking my Dar'misu's into their flesh in turn, using them as claws, killing the first two, on the final goon I stabbed a dar'misu into his stomach and pulled the other across his throat so hard and fast it sent him spinning only to land dead in a pile of his own blood. I put weapons away as did Zevran.

"you are very talented and even more attractive now." I just smiled in reply and we continued walking.

"So do you like being an assassin?" I asked.

"Well like being an assassin when I was with the crows, no. But just being an assassin and killing then yes." he answered simply.

"Have you never killed an innocent?" I asked curiously.

"Well, it all depends on your definition of innocent. If by innocent you mean women and children, never on purpose. But you must do what you need to, to get the job done and sometimes they simply get caught in the cross fire. Does that offend you?"

"Not really, no. I have killed those that could be considered innocent. So do you enjoy the act of killing?"

"Well honestly I do. There's nothing like sinking your blade into someone and knowing you have their life in your hands. And killing is an art form, the strategy of how you set up that first blow."

"To make sure it inflicts the most damage possible so the rest of the job is easy." I finished for him.

"yes, exactly, so you agree then?"

"Yes, I guess so."

"Truthfully death happens, whether it be by me, natural causes, or a fall down the stairs."

"So you enjoy simply being an assassin?" I asked curiously.

"Simply being an assassin I like it just fine. Could you picture me doing anything else?"

I don't know what came over me but I said "a handsome elf like yourself? I can think of a few things." I chuckled a little.

"I mean professionally or maybe you did too? Perhaps you intend to peddle my services to bored Ferelden noblewomen? An interesting thought, but I've always removed my clothes strictly on amateur basis, a talented amateur, of course, but amateur nonetheless." We both laughed a little at this and then the chantry bells said it was noon.

"I suppose we should go to the gates, we don't want to keep Lenobia waiting." I said and we walked off to the gates, but not before Zevran shocked me by grabbing onto my hand. We stood at the gates talking, waiting for Lenobia.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Alistair asked looking up from washing dishes. I thought it was silly at first for him to want to wash his own dishes but it makes sense, he doesn't like people waiting on him hand and foot.

"Its noon and I was supposed to meet Shiri and Zevran at the gates right now!" I finished drying the last dish.

"I'll walk you there if you don't mind, I need to get out of this stuffy old castle anyhow." He smiled. I smiled back.

"okay, d-o-g lets go!" We walked out of the palace and down a few streets, before he finally began talking.

"Thank you for coming today, I had a lot of fun."

"Surprisingly, I did too." I admitted.

"Surprisingly?" He asked.

"Well, yeah. I didn't expect to have fun at all, definitely not enough to lose track of time."

"Oh, yes, the boring king! What a dreaded thought that I might have to spend a few hours with him!" he said over dramatically.

"Looks like you could use an acting lesson from the pro." I joked pointing at myself.

"Yes cough, cough, I am so sick! cough, cough!" He mimicked me.

"Oh, please I was so much better than you!" In a flat almost emotionless voice I yelled "help, somebody please help us! My friend is sick!"

"Oh? I was so much better than that! I'm sure if someone would have heard me I would be performing on stages!" He laughed and I joined him.

"No way!" I said playfully shoving him.

"yes way! He shoved me back. We were both laughing when we got into the market place.

"Maybe I can…see you again soon, before Ostagar?" He asked a little hesitantly. And I almost said yes until Ashrylen's face flooded my thoughts.

"Alistair, you know that I would want that more than anything in the world but let me remind you of something you once told me. You said ' if I don't end it now, I fear I never will be able to' you said you had no choice, that you would find it harder and harder to tear yourself away from me." I saw sadness spread over his features. "Alistair I used to want nothing more than to be with you, I still want that more than anything, so you can imagine how hard it is for me to say this, but you are with Ashrylen, I can't let you hurt her. And by seeing me, even just as friends, we both know it would hurt Ashrylen more and more because both of us would be betraying her in a way. We know where it would eventually lead, we cannot do that to her." I paused closing my eyes taking a deep breath, to keep the tears away. "I-I love you I always will and there's nothing anyone can do about it, but you said yourself we could not be together, so we cannot be together. I know its not nearly as simple as that, but we must remain apart as much as possible to avoid hurting anyone, including ourselves." I stopped, a sob building in my throat. I can't believe I'm saying this when I want nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around me and say we can be together, no matter what.

"I- I suppose you are right. Any woman I will be with will already have an unfair life because… because I will still be very much in love with you. Goodbye Lenobia." He said bowing slightly I could see the tears in his eyes.

I crossed my arms over my chest and bowed "goodbye Alistair." We both turned and I walked away to Shiri and Zevran who could see I was hurting and said nothing.

I could feel my heart falling apart again. It was nice to have the illusion of what life would be like with Alistair today, but was it truly worth the hurt we are both going through now?


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

I looked up finally at Shiri and Zevran, and realized they were holding hands. And whispering. It was my fault because they were worried whispers about me, I was ruining their day when they should be happy. For makers sake, Lenobia! Pull yourself together. I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. I closed my eyes and did it again only this time ending the exhale in a smile. I looked up and walked up to them, instead of dragging my feet.

"Oooh! What's this I see?" I asked holding up their hands. Shiri blushed and Zevran smiled.

"It is quite obvious, is it not?" Zevran said catching onto my joking. "it is called holding hands. Where has your mind gone Lenobia?" He asked laughing.

"Oh, did you not know? It left me long ago!" I smiled.

Shiri smiled at me "glad to have you back."

I smiled understandingly but shrugged it off. "back? Did I leave? Am I lost?" I asked excitedly playing dumb, taking it to far, but she released the subject and laughed.

"it is getting dark, how far are we from your camp, Shiri?" Zevran asked.

"Not even a day, we've made good time."

"But aren't they in the Southron hills? That's at least 2 ½ more days of travel."

"Oh, I know, but my clan will be moving north already, and we camp in the same spots every time we leave Ferelden, so the camp they will be at tomorrow night is less than a day from here."

"oh, well should we make camp?"

"yes," Zevran answered. "but somewhere off of the imperial highway." We headed off and walked a quarter mile from the highway and started a fire and pitched our tents. We began to eat.

"Either of you care to share a story?" I asked, wanting a distraction from the eerie silence.

Shiri looked at Zevran, "please?"

"Alright," he said looking at Shiri, "but I get to stare at you luridly while I do so." She smiled.

"So tell us about your adventures." Shiri commanded.

"My adventures?" he chuckled. "I'm hardly an old man just returned from across the sea, am I? Should I shake my fist at nearby children while going on about the good old days?"

"You certainly talk like you've had adventures." I told him.

"Falling down stairs is an adventure. Falling into someone's bed is also an adventure. I assume you mean my professional adventures. My second mission for the Crows was a bit intriguing. I was sent to kill a mage who had been meddling in politics."

Shiri interrupted with a question. "Meddling in politics how?"

"how should I know? I got the impression it involved sex…but I get that impression about most everything. Odd, really." Shiri and I both laughed. Zevran continued, "It turned out the mage in question was quite a delightful young woman long divine legs as I recall." I saw Shiri's face twist with a hint of jealousy and I hid a smile.

"I caught her in a carriage on her way to escape to the Provinces. After I killed her guard she got on her hands and her knees and begged for her life…rather aptly I might add. So I joined her in her carriage for the night and left the next morning." He paused. I saw Shiri try not to look at all mad about the woman, and I suppressed a giggle.

"Is that all?" I asked. "Did she try to kill you?"

"Well, yes. Twice, actually. Then she tried to use me instead. The woman had actually convinced me to speak to the crows on her behalf. What can I say? I was young and foolish at the time. Then as I was kissing her goodbye she slipped on the thresh hold and fell backwards out of the carriage and broke her neck. But at least it happened quickly." he concluded simply.

Shiri's eyes were wide. "Were you upset?"

"at first, yes. Well, not upset…surprised is really the better word. Then I found out from the driver that she planned to lose me in the provinces. I would have looked very foolish to the crows. As it was my master was very impressed with how accidental I made it look. The circle was completely unsuspecting of foul play and everyone happier all around."

I laughed a little, "these sorts of things happen to yoou often." I observed.

"Like being spared by a benevolent grey warden who helped me escape from the crows? And following her only to find the most beautiful elf on the planet? Yes, it does seem to happen now and again, doesn't it?" He looked to Shiri, who was blushing then continued, "After that I learned not to let a pretty face go to your head. Professionalism was key, that was the moral of the day for me."

"So you _never _mix business and pleasure?" Shiri asked, my face clearly portrayed how shocked I was at the question.

"Hmmm, well there is you…but I'll point out that you had to tie me up first. Every rule has its exception." Zevran said simply. "Now that I have mentioned tying up in that context, do we have any extra rope about?" They both laughed.

"What am I missing?" I asked surprised.

"Oh, yes, we forgot to mention that I swore an oath to help Shiri get back in her clan."

"And I tied him up to make him do it." She smiled.

"So you also get tied up a lot?"

Zevran chuckled "I suppose so" Shiri yawned.

"I Guess we need to be off to bed then." I said smiling and we all turned in for the night.

**A small girl giggled, accompanied by a small boys laughter. I could see them dancing around a fire, their laughter echoing through the woods. They whispered words in rhythm.**

"**join us, into the darkness.**

**Join us, become one of us."**

"**Join us, follow our lead.**

**Join us and you will be freed."**

**They continued whispering it over and over as I saw red eyes hide in the shadow along with yellow eyes. The shadows were many, those of bears, birds, Halla, horses, spiders, corpses, darkspawn. children, men, and women of all races. Then suddenly the fire went out the glowing eyes faded away and the children's faces were side by side and so close it looked as though they were in my face. Their features illuminated to evil smiles as they both whispered "join us, Lenobia. Join us."**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I sat straight up, suppressing a scream. Breathing heavy from fright I looked around, then, since I was so good at controlling the elements, lit a small ball of fire on the tip of my staff wielding it as a torch. I looked all around the camp, scared. But what am I even looking for? 'twas just a dream. But there were darkspawn, and animals with the eyes of darkspawn. _people _with the eyes of darkspawn. I extinguished the flame as the sun started to slowly rise in the distance. I watched it rise through the trees shining down on our camp.

I turned around and saw Shiri just waking up I turned back to the sun. Maybe we can get her to her clan. Maybe they will accept her. At least one person in this world needs to be accepted for who they are.

"Good morning." Shiri yawned and smiled next to me.

"Good morning." I smiled.

"So, about what I can do…" she trailed off.

"About sensing thoughts?" I asked.

"well, yes. But it has turned into so much more than that, right now I can sense you are confused, now look into my eyes and think of someone's face, someone I've never seen."

"Okay…" I turned towards her. I imagined soft, pale green eyes. A perfect smile on her face with smile lines around her mouth and eyes. Her long faded red hair. The permanent understanding look in her eyes.

"Wow," Shiri interrupted my thoughts. "pale green eyes, faded red hair, smile lines, and a beautiful smile. She looks very understanding." I was shocked my mouth fell open and her face left my mind.

"Now think her name…You don't have to look at me to do this part though." Shiri told me. I thought Sheyenne. "Sheyenne…?" Shiri trailed of questioningly.

"its my mother." I informed her. "so you can...see thoughts too?"

"well, yeah, I guess so. But only if I am making eye contact with the person, other wise I can only sense thoughts, and by sense I mean I cant hear full sentences but I can get the gist of what the sentence is about." She explained.

"Amazing, so that is why they kicked you out? That makes no sense."

"my thoughts exactly. I suppose the only reason they could even think my power a danger would be because it would be revealing tribe secrets that only the keeper can bear knowledge of." she said sadly.

"Don't worry we will get them to take you back."

"What will you do after?"

"After what?" I asked.

"After you help me?"

"Yes what will the great Lenobia do?" I heard Zevran say from behind us.

"I will go to Ostagar to join new grey wardens and honor those who have fallen before us. Of course, first I need to find at least 2 or 3 people to be made grey wardens."

"Hmmm…sounds exciting." Shiri said absently, staring off into the forest.

"Yes, very much so." Zevran agreed with her.

"well, we should probably get underway." I said turning around and beginning to pack.

When the sun was setting our silent contemplative trip was nearing an end.

"If we go a mile east we will reach the camp."

"East it is then." I said having the feeling we were already being watched by the Dalish.

I continually looked up into the trees, looking for elves.

"halt Shem- Shiri? What are you doing here? I thought you left." The guard said.

"Aneth Ara Junienne." Shiri said bowing her head slightly.

"Aneth Ara, shiri!" Junienne said enveloping Shiri in a hug.

"May I speak with the keeper?" Shiri asked.

"Your friends as well?" Junienne asked eying Zevran and I suspiciously.

"yes, my friends as well."

"I suppose so," Junienne said leading us into camp.

"Ma Serannas, Junienne."

We arrived at the keeper all three of us bowing.

"Andaran atish'an Keeper." Shiri said.

"Andaran atish'an Da'len." The keeper said bowing slightly.

"These are my friends, Lenobia, A grey warden, and Zevran, who is Elven and Emma Lath." I smiled at Zevran, who looked confused. I spoke a little Elvish so I knew that Emma Lath meant 'My Love'.

"Really now?" The keeper asked smiling a little. "And what may I do for the three of you?"

I spoke first, "I would like to get Shiri returned to her clan."

Then surprisingly Zevran spoke, "And I would like to join with her." We all three stared at Zevran. The keeper and I in total shock and Shiri in complete awe.

"Really?" Shiri asked hopefully.

"Of course, Emma Lath." Zevran said bowing his head slightly. Apparently he spoke Elvish as well, which neither Shiri nor I knew.

"well then, Why would you kick Shiri out?" I asked cutting to the chase, I had much to prepare for Ostagar still.

"She…" The keeper sighed. "May we speak more privately?" The keeper asked and we all four bowed to each other as the keeper and I walked off northward.

"You were saying?" I prompted.

"Shiri…has a…complicated past. You know this, yes?"

"No…not completely." I answered confused.

She sighed. "Shiri is not fully elven. Her mother was… a human." I stared in shock and waited for her to continue. "We adopted her into the tribe when she was only 3. Some of our scouts had found her crying in the forest, her parents had carelessly left without her. We know this because we were watching them for quite sometime since they were so near our camp. We are almost certain they left her intentionally. The scouts reported back to me and I went to go see this little girl. By that time she had been in the woods for almost 2 sunrises. She was resourceful for only being 3. She had covered herself in moss as a blanket and was huddled in one spot that wasn't shaded by trees. I had jumped down from the trees and startled her." She laughed. "I was much younger then, so I was much more able. After talking with her I decided to take her in as one of our own, it had never been heard of before and the clan was in an uproar. But as keeper they knew I knew what was best and when I convinced them to take her in, she was raised here, barely remembering her human life and wanting to know nothing of it. She then married Shiri's father." She sighed happily smiling. "they were so in love. They of course gave birth to Shiri." She paused.

"So then," I started taking the opportunity of the pause in the story. "Where are her parents?" I asked curiously. Surely they wouldn't have let her clan kick her out.

"They…died when She was only 4." She informed me, smile gone now. I gasped.

"How?"

"A hunting accident, they were hunting for food and some humans came along…no not humans…Shem came along and killed them just because they were Elven. We tried so hard to save them but by the way they were killed there was nothing that could be done. SO we bandaged them up best we could tried our hardest to make them look normal and let Shiri see them one last time." I could see the horror of the remembrance in her eyes and I didn't even want to know how they were killed.

"So then Shiri isn't a full elf?"

"No and our clan has made a grave mistake by kicking her out. Shiri's mother was expected to have some Lyrium in her." she trailed.

"As in she was a mage? Like me?" I asked astonished.

"Well a mage, yes. Like you…not exactly. You are powerful. She was taught to never use her magic. She actually preferred it that way she learned enough to hide it. I think something with our culture clashes with the mages magic and we all forgot she even could control magic…until now."

"Why all of a sudden though?" then realization dawned on me and I whispered "Shiri?"

"We were wrong to kick her out but the clan over took me unanimously, which is the only way I can be outvoted. They were afraid of her being an abomination. Because she has part magic and human in her but also has part Elf in her we are not sure what will become of her. When she told me of her mind sensing the dark ones I thought she was infected with the taint. When I inquired more about it I learned that it could only be because of the mix of so much power in her."

"Wait, I thought magic wasn't transferred genetically." I said confused.

"Well not most times but in some other places especially with Qunari the magic seems to travel through their bloodline, so it is not entirely improbable." she concluded.

"Oh maker what a situation… I said taking a step back. "Give me a second to gather my thoughts…" I said as I closed my eyes. If Shiri is an abomination she would have to be killed, she is showing increasing amounts of mind powers and she might be able to start controlling people without blood magic, which would be a dangerous breed…

"Okay you need to explain everything to Shiri, and I mean EVERYTHING! Then you need to take her back into your clan so you can keep a close eye on her. If her powers increase at all you must know immediately so you can be on the lookout for a demon. Its rare but the Demon could be lying dormant within her and is still making her stronger somehow. Do you understand me?" I asked sternly.

"Yes, I understand perfectly. This is quite the situation we are in and we must be careful. I will go fetch Shiri and tell her."

"Also inform her of the abomination theory, the more she knows the more likely she is to control anything that happens to her." We both bowed and went the same way because I knew Shiri and Zevran would be together. The keeper took Shiri to her quarters and I sat next to Zevran. I looked over at him seriously.

"We need to talk." I said solemnly.

"What about?" he looked curious but really happy. Now the hard part, telling a man his love of his life could become an abomination right before his eyes and kill him and everyone she once cared about.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"You know Shiri is…different, yes?" I began.

"yes, she reads my thoughts all the time!" Zevran laughed. " 'tis quite interesting. But you must have a point to this, no?"

"Yes I have a point. My point is, is the reason Shiri can do that is because she is part elf, part human, and part Mage. A potentially lethal combination."

"Lethal how?" Zevran asked cautiously.

"Well she could have a dormant Demon inside her, fueling her powers. Which means that when it awakens or when she is powerful enough for it to awaken she will either die from the sheer power of the demon alone or become an abomination." When I said this Zevran's expression was utter devastation.

"So then she would kill everyone and anyone, no matter her feelings for them?" He asked without really asking but I answered anyways.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Has-has she known this whole time?" He asked conveying a betrayed expression.

"No, she is finding out right now as well. The keeper is willing to accept you both into the clan, and Shiri will need to be observed closely, a job that will be easiest for you."

Zevran let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "What will I need to be looking for?" He asked showing almost no emotion other than worry.

"For her power to be growing more, for sudden aggression, or any use of magic at all."

"Okay." He nodded, but it was strained.

"Zevran." I looked at him caringly and put my arm around his shoulder. "I know how it feels to possibly lose someone you love very much. I do not know how it feels to have that person have a possibility of turning into a monster. I cannot imagine what you are going through but if you need anything at all, please, let me know. This is not going to be easy, but you always have to remember the abomination idea is just a theory it might not even happen." Zevran nodded silently, his eyes still closed."

"Zev?" Came whispered whimper. Zevran opened his eyes and got up to go hug Shiri. They were whispering to each other and I didn't know what was being said and I don't want to intrude either. I stood up and turned to leave.

"Lenobia?" Shiri called. I turned around.

"Yes?" I asked smiling faintly.

"You will be in Ostagar in a few days, yes?"

"Yes?" I said raising an eyebrow, "why?"

"Just wanting to wish you a safe journey, and thank you for all of your help." She smiled, still in Zevran's embrace.

"Thank you Shiri, it was quite an adventure getting to know you."

She bowed to me "Dareth Shiral Falon."

I returned the bow and repeated Shiri only in English, "Goodbye friend." I smiled and turned away, only then realizing that I was on my own again. I sighed and made my way towards Ostagar.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Chapter 29**_

"_**You must be the recruit that responded to my call?" I asked startling a young man who looked only of 18.**_

"_**Oh, um, yes I am if you are Lenobia?" He asked peering to see my face.**_

"_**Indeed I am, a pleasure to make your Acquaintance." I said bowing my head as he did the same.**_

"_**The pleasure is mine."**_

"_**Okay," I smiled, shaking off the tired and fearful experience of my trip down here. "Enough with the formalities, how long ago did you arrive?"**_

"_**Only an hour or so, aren't the grey wardens supposed to be formal?"**_

_**I laughed a little, "well yes, with everyone else but once you are joined you will find we are like a family, because all we will have is each other."**_

"_**Oh…" The boy looked nervous and unsure of what to say.**_

"_**What is your name?" I asked not caring that I almost forgot, I was to tired and worried to remember anything.**_

"_**Bryant."**_

"_**Well Bryant why don't you begin setting up camp? Everyone else will not arrive until sundown or tomorrow afternoon, once you finish setting up I'm sure most will be here, then we will eat and we will begin the joining tomorrow evening." I said smiling and then turned to go where I had been dying to go since the night of my joining, the battlefield. **_

_**I wondered the field until I saw a sudden gleam. There was Duncan's sword reflecting the setting sun, stabbed into a decomposed darkspawn. I took a couple more steps east and there were two skeletons right next to each other, by the looks of the remnants of their clothes it was Duncan and King Cailan. The crown was still present, I must say I'm surprised that scavengers hadn't picked these bodies over yet. I pushed Duncan's sword into the ground right behind the two skeletons of the good men I once knew and hung the ex kings crown around the swords handle. There I knelt I sighed deeply and said aloud**_

"_**Duncan, I've never talked to an object before thinking the real person could hear me. But I know how much you believed in the maker and so maybe you can hear me. All I can say really is how much Alistair misses you, I didn't know you all that well, but I always felt that you had rescued me from that tower. I don't know what to do and I know talking aloud to a sword won't help much but I need any help I can get.**_

"_**I have begun to have…dreams, again. They ended immediately after the blight but now I have had several dreams of strange children and animals and people with the eyes of Darkspawn. I am worried something big is coming, something that none of us could possibly ever imagine." I stopped and whispered even softer now, "I think there may be a blight on the way. A blight with the leaders who are children instead of a dragon. A blight with the possible threat of two arch demons at one time. And…" A tear fell from my cheek.**_

"_**And I do not think I am prepared to assemble grey wardens and an entire kingdom against a blight. I know the assembly of the kingdom is technically Alistair's job, I love him but in all honesty he will turn to me to do it. I do not know how we can convince Ferelden that arch demons arise in children now, I fear they will turn their backs on grey wardens again, and I-" I stopped abruptly as I heard an intake of breath from the trees at the north east end of the field. I looked around but saw no one.**_

"_**Who is there?" I asked standing up. "Bryant?" I turned around and right behind me were two silhouettes. I peered into the darkness but could not make out their faces. "hello?"**_

"_**it is just us…" A familiar voice said as two elves stepped close enough for me to see their faces.**_

"_**Shiri…Zevran? What are you two doing in Ostagar?"**_

"_**We are…here to join the grey wardens." Shiri and Zevran said at the same time.**_

"_**Wh-what?" I stuttered astonished and confused. "But why?"**_

"_**You need our help and We figure that since we want more adventures we could have them with you and be helping the greater good." Shiri informed me reasonably.**_

"_**Okay but…do you realize what you have to sacrifice for this?" I asked.**_

"_**Well, not exactly, we are expecting some sacrifice though…." Zevran trailed off.**_

_**I sighed. "Sit down, there are things I am about to tell you that I am not supposed to tell anyone. But I trust you both, so use the information I am about to reveal to make your decision carefully. But know that you cannot repeat what I am about to tell you."**_

_**They both nodded, eyes wide, listening intently so I began.**_

"_**I am sure you know that the Grey wardens can sense darkspawn, which is one of the reasons we are needed to defeat the blight. The reason we can sense the darkspawn is because in the joining…we…drink their blood along with a mix of magic. It helps us to sense them, it also gives you terrible nightmares. Those aren't as important as what I am going to say next." I took a deep breath before betraying these secrets right in front of Duncan's corpse. **_

"_**The joining is dangerous. Few survive it. I was the only one to live out of the three at my joining. Those who do survive it, however, have to sacrifice many things. You have to leave your family behind as is tradition. Not to say you cannot see them from time to time but many grey wardens would denounce your last name, those are traditional ways and can change a little when a blight isn't threatening us. Your family is not all you will sacrifice, if you want to have children, it is not advised and may not even be possible." I gave them a stern look. "So if you want children you would have to have them before you were to join."**_

"_**Oh." Shiri said emotionless and Zevran just stared at her face. So I continued.**_

"_**You can get married and be together when you are a grey warden but… as a friend of mine once made Alistair and I realize, If it comes to saving Ferelden and there was a situation where you would have to choose between saving the one you love or saving Ferelden, you are bound by your duty as a Grey Warden to chose Ferelden. No matter what."**_

_**They both just stared at me in silence. So I added, "So you see that when you join the grey wardens you lose almost everything, and you lose it without even realizing that is what will happen to you." I paused and looked up at them. "You two are lucky you have someone to warn you about this choice, that you even have a choice in the matter, so please, please take this advantage you have over all the other recruits and really think about this, the joining is tomorrow evening and you may camp with us if you choose."**_

"_**Okay, we will." Zevran said nodding then asked, "Your camp is to the east of here, yes?"**_

"_**Yes, in the heart of Ostagar, when you see Bryant just tell him you are friends of mine and possible recruits." I informed him as he nodded and took Shiri's hand and walked towards camp. Shiri broke away and came up to me and hugged me. When she did she whispered, **_

"_**Thank you so much Lenobia. I know that you telling us this can get you into a lot of trouble but we both appreciate it so much, and we will always be here to stand next to you, Grey wardens or no." She let go then and skipped off to join Zevran, taking his hand in hers. I smiled to myself glad they understood and decided to take a longer route to camp. **_

_**I started walking through trees, right at the edge I thought I saw someone. I kept walking and then behind me I heard a twig snap, it was Twilight now and the light of the stars was by no means enough to see anyone who might've been spying on me. I just stared silently in the darkness, slowly and quietly drawing my staff to use it. I heard breathing.**_

"_**I can hear you breathing…" I whispered. "Who is there?" I asked not wanting to kill another person especially before a possible blight.**_

"_**Lenobia, its just me." Someone sighed.**_

"_**Me who?"**_

"_**Alistair."**_

"_**Oh." My cheeks turned red, unsure of how much he might have heard of my conversations earlier.**_

"_**We need to talk, shall we go to camp?" He asked resigned.**_

"_**Okay, Bryant should have everything set up by now anyways." I said as he led the way back to camp silently. I wondered the entire time what we had to talk about, I was worried he would know what secrets I had just betrayed to my friends, I do not have any idea what the punishment for that could be…**_

_**We arrived at camp and he led me into his tent. I noticed it was but a few feet from mine.**_

"_**Please, sit." He gestured to a seat and silently I took it.**_

"_**I know what you told them." He said staring at me with no expression, it scared me. My face must have betrayed me because he continued. "Don't be frightened, I don't know what the punishment is Nor do I intend to give one to you."**_

"_**Oh. Well, Alistair, I had to tell them, they have been through so much already and they needed warned."**_

_**Yet again without emotion he asked, "More than you or I? More than Duncan? More than any other grey warden so much so that they needed to be told?" **_

_**I took in a deep breath and let it out long and slow. "Shiri needed to know these things because her life is already threatened to end early. She may have a demon in her laying dormant and feeding her powers, the ability to see into minds."**_

"_**What?" Alistair asked finally betraying some emotion.**_

"_**So she may turn into an abomination out of the blue." I informed him.**_

"_**The taint would…make her more powerful though…" Alistair trailed off confused.**_

"_**Possibly. However there may not be a demon, that seems so unlikely, she is also part elf, mage, and human."**_

_**Alistair gasped. "How did she manage that?"**_

"_**It is a long story that isn't important, the reason I told them what I did, is however, very important. I told them because the taint could either kill the demon, kill her, return her to normal, or turn her into a very powerful abomination. They had so much to deal with already I didn't want to surprise them with this only three days later."**_

_**Alistair sighed and thought for a long moment. "Okay, I understand. But what you said to Duncan, about a blight…is that true?"**_

"_**Haven't you been having the dreams?" I asked shocked that I was the only one.**_

"_**I saw into darkspawn eyes, through a dream, and watched as it swallowed the world whole, but I thought nothing of it. Why what are your dreams like?"**_

_**I quickly filled him in on all of my dreams of the children, they were always the same dream the only difference was whether or not all the darkspawn would be hiding in the trees.**_

'_**Well then, Lenobia it seems we have more problems to deal with." I was about to say as always when I heard a voice outside the tent asking to come in. And in walked Ashrylen, who hugged and kissed Alistair and then glared at me.**_

"_**Oh, hello Lenobia." She said with an evil grin. **_

_**I looked straight at Ashrylen, but spoke to Alistair. "More problems than we realize even."**_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

I stood up. "well Alistair, I wouldn't want t intrude on your time any longer, we shall talk again before tomorrows eve, yes?"

"Of course, Lenobia." Alistair said. I opened a flap of the tent to step out but an icy voice made me stop.

"Shouldn't you address him as 'Your Majesty' and bow before you leave, he is your leader you know. And just because he is a grey warden makes him in no way your equal, he is and always will be better than you." Ashrylen spit. I sighed, keeping my temper under control. Alistair spoke before I could.

"Ashrylen she doesn't need to-"

"No," I interrupted. "She is right, please except my sincerest apologies your majesty." I said turning towards him and bowing before walking outside into the cool air. She must have found out about the day we spent together and be jealous of it. I walked to my tent.

"I know everything." A hateful whisper came from behind me.

"Do you really now? I find that hard to believe, what with the little experience you have in this world."

"When you spent the day with him, all he could talk about for a week was Lenobia and I, and Lenobia and I used to do this, and used to do that. Or Lenobia and I have so much more to discuss I wish I could see her again before Ostagar." Ashrylen imitated Alistair.

"And yet you take it out on me rather than talk to him, brilliant plan to make a relationship work."

"Yes, I suppose you would know all about working relationships." She said sarcastically. I sighed trying to keep myself under control.

"You have him. He is yours and only yours. I do not wish to have him, he does not wish to have me, Ashrylen, we are simply friends nothing more." I said slowly, enunciating each word to keep from exploding with anger.

"Friends." She scoffed. "You can never go back to being friends after your relationship." This was the last straw, I turned to face her.

"And what would you know of our relationship?" I glared.

"I know enough." She said simply, smiling.

"What happened to you?" I asked unbelievingly.

"Why whatever do you mean Lenny?" She asked innocently.

"How did you become such a- a bitch? Did the riches go to your head? Does the kings feigned attention go to your head?" I asked with mock curiosity, knowing this would bother her.

"Feigned?" was all she could stutter out.

I laughed faintly. "Wait, don't tell me you actually thought he wanted you! every woman he's been with he has simply tried to find the closest thing to me! In his last girl she had hair like mine, in you he sees my childhood friend, a very close connection to me. I'm sure if he could he would go with my sister because she would be even closer to me. I am quite surprised you didn't realize this already." I said evilly and immediately wished I hadn't. She was my friend, is my friend. I saw the pain and realization strike her face.

"Ashry, I didn't mean it, its not true I was just angry. The truth is it is what I want to believe. Im sorry I said that to you."

"I…I cannot believe I didn't see it. You wouldn't have said it if it weren't true Lenny, I know you." She said in a trance and turned back to Alistair's tent and walked slowly inside. I walked inside my tent and cleared my head and tried to get some sleep so I could sort things out tomorrow.

The whole night I heard yelling, crying, and whispering from the tent next to mine.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The next day seemed to pass by quickly. Orlesian grey warden arriving, to the mages arriving, to setting up for the joining. Only before dinner did time seem to move slowly as everyone anticipated the days end.

"Lenobia, do you have a moment?" A recruit asked me. I turned around to see it was our female recruit from Orlais that Alistair had found.

"Yes, Anelle? What do you need?" I asked the bard.

"I heard his majesty and the Orlesian Grey warden, Roran, talking about how many would survive…what were they referring to?" she asked her voice quivering just slightly.

"oh…" I cursed Alistair and Roran under my breath for not being more discreet and lied quickly, "Just a small battle of the clans in Orzamar, there have been unrest amongst them as of late."

"Oh, okay, did you hear it from Orin?" She asked suspiciously, referring to our dwarves recruit. I forgot how hard it can be to lie to bards, they are spies after all.

"No, I heard it from our king, we must discuss all wars like this together when they involve groups who are bound by Grey Warden treaties, such as thee dwarves. You however should not ask Orin about it, dwarves are an easily offended race. And he is already having a hard enough time adjusting to our sky." She nodded understandingly and turned and walked off. I went to go check on the food when Shiri walked past me swiftly and subtly motioning for me to follow her. I sighed, there was too much to do today, but I followed.

"we've reached a decision!" She said cheerily.

"And that is?" I asked anxiously.

"That is that we will gladly join the Grey Wardens and Assist when it is needed of us, presuming, of course, that we live." Zevran said without worry as Shiri winced at the idea of dying.

"And what of your lives together, I suspect you will remain with one another?" I concluded.

"Of course." Zevran answered smiling.

"And children?" I trailed off waiting for their answer.

"WE do not desire them right now and should the need arise, we can easily take in an orphaned one from the Alienage." Shiri informed me cheerily.

"If that is what you wish I am more than happy to have you." I smiled as they started to walk away. "Zevran, may I speak to you one moment?" I asked as he turned around and walked towards me.

"You have a good woman there, do not harm her."

"I plan on not letting any harm come to her, ever."

"But be prepared to sacrifice her should the need arrive due to the possible demon in her or due to your duty as a grey warden."

"I have planned for this."

"Also, I am glad you have finally settled down." I smiled.

"Thank you." he said happily and walked to meet up with Shiri just a few feet away. I yelled to them.

"And Shiri! If you hurt Zevran in any way I will be forced to cause you bodily harm!" I joked. She laughed and they walked away. I still needed to meet with Roran so I started heading there when Alistair pulled me aside.

Exasperated he said "finally I found you!"

I sarcastically replied, "yes, at the worst time possible but yes."

"You should know by now all of my timing is the worst possible." He joked.

"true."

His face sobered. "I am sorry for last night."

"What of it?" I asked curious.

"Simply the way Ashrylen treated you, she finds you a threat." I was taken aback at this apology.

I laughed awkwardly, "Why in the world would she think me a threat?" I turned Melancholy. "what we have," I paused to correct myself. "What we _had _ended after the Lands meet. She should know that."

"yes, well I'm sorry again for her behavior…And mine." He said, I could see hints of sadness in his eyes from the memory.

"No matter." I attempted my best to change the topic. " I am guessing you will be the one to conduct the joining?"

"Yes, since I am the Veteran Ferelden member now, I will just as Duncan did."

"Good. Have you sent the recruits out to fetch the blood of Darkspawn?" I asked going through my mental check list.

"I have sent them into the wilds and told them how deep to go to find the darkspawn. Have you confirmed where Shiri and Zevran stand?" He asked me as we began to walk through camp making sure everything was in order.

"I have, they stand as potential recruits, as long as they survive the joining they will be by our side." I informed him, realizing only then how formal and in charge we sounded. I wonder if anyone ever realizes how scared I can actually get, or if I'm good at hiding it?

"Good, Good." He said nodding, lost in his own thoughts.

"That makes for 8 recruits, we did better than expected, assuming all live." I said optimistically.

"Yes, but almost always at least one will die. But, seven was our original goal so we did well indeed"

"Well, I should go check with Roran and the mages about the Joining ritual." I said parting.

"I should check on Ashrylen, she sends her regards, as always."

"I, of course send mine. Maker watch over you." I said bowing the traditional way by crossing my arms over my chest. He bowed slightly.

"Maker bless you." And we parted.

I quickly Made my way across camp seeing the sun lower in the sky, worrying about our new recruits. Oh wait, Zevran and Shiri are with them, they will be fine.

"ah, Lenobia! Perfect Timing!" Roran greeted me happily in his thick Orlesian accent

"Hello Roran." I smiled. It was impossible to be glum around such a cheery person. Roran was kind of plump and had a black beard and mustache. He looked wealthy though he had very little since he was a grey warden.

"So this is where the Joining shall take place, and the ancient words will be spoken yes?"

"Of course."

"Also there is someone here who asked to see you."

"And where would they be?"

"Right past the mages." He pointed out to a small fire.

"Thank you very much Roran." I said and moved giving a small waves to the mages I recognized. I saw a silhouette by the fire.

"You wanted to speak with me?" I asked curiously.

"No, actually I didn't" He said harshly.

"Well, Roran said-" I was cut off

"Yes, well, Roran was supposed to send my regards not send you to me." He said a little less harshly.

"Well at least now you can give your regards in person." I said trying to lighten this persons mood as I peered through the shadows to see his face, there was something in his voice.

"But seeing you…is too much to bear anymore." He said softly and the moment his voice softened I realized instantly who it was and I turned my face away in shame.

"I…I cannot apologize enough for what I've done to you Cullen."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"**no, its fine. I don't know why I let Greagoir send me here. I guess, I just wanted to see if…Anything had changed between us." He sighed and mumbled something unintelligibly. **

"**Cullen…" I said quietly Sitting next to him.**

"**I thought about asking to become a grey warden…I thought that maybe it would bring us back together. But now I don't know. I still love you so much, but I can no longer fully feel the love because I know it will never be." He said burying his face in his hands. I cautiously put my arm around him.**

"**Maybe you cannot feel our love fully because it is no longer there. Perhaps we were only destined to remain nothing more than friends. But know that you are not alone in that feeling…"**

"**You do not understand! I cannot love two people at once!"**

"**Two people? Who are they?" I asked more than curious, perhaps I can let Cullen have a happy ending with the woman he loves. It would help mend the heart I destroyed and at least one of my child hood friends would get a happy ending. Jowan lost Lilly I lost Alistair and Petra has yet to find someone.**

"**She is here actually. Well you, of course are one of them. But this other girl she is so sweet and kind." I saw a smile then he cast an embarrassed look at me.**

"**don't be embarrassed to talk of this with me Cullen! We are best friends are we not?" I smiled encouragingly.**

"**she has this Brown hair with a red tint. And these beautiful green eyes that light up when she laughs! She also has this air of regality about her, like she is someone important, but also seems so fragile as if she is not used to being treated as such." I saw him staring dazedly off into the distance as I realized he was truly in love. I was simply a crush compared to how he is already pining over this woman.**

"**And her name?" I prodded.**

**His face fell… "I cannot be sure, but she wears no armor, only Noble robes." I stood up as realization hit me.**

"**Her name is… Ashrylen."**

"**Oh what a beautiful name! But I've heard it before…where have I heard it before?" He pondered anxiously.**

"**From me. She was my child hood friend."**

"**Oh well its wonderful that you've met with her yet again!" He said cheerfully. My face remained saddened.**

"**Cullen," I started softly. "She is with our king." His face fell to a terrible expression as he slowly sat back down.**

"**Of course, of course. I shall put all thoughts of her immediately out of my head."**

"**Cullen, continue to do what pleases you. Talk to her if you must! I have only seen one man look at a woman like that before…and, and it did not work out, now both of them are quite miserable in each others presence." I said using my own situation as an example. "So you need to do what you can to get this woman, but **_**play fairly**_**. Even though she is currently thee kings it does not mean she cannot change her mind to be with you." What am I saying? I just told a man to take our kings girl! Oh maker what have I started?**

"**You're right Lenny! Thank you!" He said and bolted away. I groaned aloud and said to myself :I'm beginning to feel like a noble what with all these love triangles springing up." I walked resigned towards the place where the joining would be held. It was nearly sunset and the recruits should be back any minute. **

**Now all I have to do is hope 3 of the new recruits haven't already fallen in love with one another. So Ashrylen loves Alistair, but will surely flirt with Cullen. Cullen Loves Ashrylen and still me a little. I love Alistair and cannot help myself from feeling something like that for Cullen. And of course Alistair may or may not still love me and most likely Love's Ashrylen. Maker help us all for we will surely need it. **

**The recruits marched in and I stood.**

"**I trust you have the 8 vials of darkspawn blood?"**

"**yes." Anelle said. She reminded me much of myself as a recruit.**

"**perfect, Bryant please go find the king." **

"**No need, I am here." Alistair said from behind me. "The Joining is ready to begin." He said as I poured the vials of darkspawn blood into the chalice.**

"**w-wait we have to drink that?" Someone asked from behind me.**

"**This is the test Lenobia and I have undergone, Just as the ones before us, and the ones before them. Just as the First Grey Wardens did we will speak the words that were spoken at the first Joining. Lenobia?" I straightened up and prepared to speak the words Alistair had spoken at my joining.**

"**Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you" I heard a recruit faintly whisper 'so we could die?' I nodded solemnly as Alistair called forth the first recruit. I watched him go through what Daveth went through. **

"**I am sorry." I said to the fallen recruit, closing his eyes. Alistair had already administered the dose to Bryant. His eyes rolled back in his head and gave out a scream of terror and pain before falling to the ground, but still breathing softly. Next was Anelle and Orin. They did the same as Bryant. Zevran and Shiri drank next and I found myself staring at them intently. Zevran was the first to react, falling to the ground, but breathing shallowly as his first nightmare ensued. Shiri stood there not reacting. I stood there watching her. Wondering what would happen when suddenly she doubled over in pain clenching her stomach, her eyes rolled back in her head and she coughed up unimaginable amounts of blood. Then she fell to the floor. The last two recruits did not make it either. I rushed to Shiri praying she would make it, when after almost a minute passed her breathing started and she lay there like the others who survived. **

"**She made it." I smiled to Alistair who smiled back.**

"**We have 5 recruits now. Here fill these." He said handing me 3 of the necklaces we used to commemorate those who have fallen. When we both finished we sat and waited for the recruits to wake.**

"**Its been a while since we've been here." Alistair said to make conversation.**

"**Indeed it has…So many conversations I had here in such a brief time." Then I smiled mischievously. "Remember when we had to go to the Tower of Ishal?"**

"**Yes instead of fighting! I was so angry!"**

"**As was I but remember how you said you would draw the line if the King ever asked you to put on a dress and dance the remigold?"**

"**Yes I remember! What of it?" He laughed.**

"**Well when I told you I would like to see that, you told me-"**

"**For you maybe."**

"**Yes exactly, is that maybe a yes?" He just laughed in reply. "It could be a wonderful addition to our celebratory feast." I said trying to persuade him.**

"**Ah, but you forget, I said I would do It for you, not for all the grey wardens and my Ashrylen" his face fell as did mine. I had forgotten yet again that he could never be mine. I attempted to salvage the evening.**

"**Well when we take that trip up to Highever to commemorate Duncan, I might just buy you a dress." I winked and he laughed. Then Bryant lifted his head. Alistair and I hurried over to help him up, as we did to the others who followed, all except Shiri.**

"**What is wrong with her?" Zevran asked anxiously. "I saw she was not falling right away, I was worried but I started having this horrible nightmare…" Everyone agreed that they were all having nightmares as well. **

"**Listen we will explain the nightmares tonight at the fire after the feast. Zevran Shiri did not collapse until much later and she coughed up a lot of blood. She is still breathing but this next minute will decide her fate." I could tell Zevran and I were holding our breath together, praying to the maker to save her.**

**Finally after what seemed like forever Shiri sat up. Zevran rushed down to her side helping her up and hugging her. He looked into her eyes and she stepped back.**

"**Len-Lenobia?"**

'**What is it?"**

"**I cannot see his thoughts any more, there is no picture and even the words are fuzzy." I didn't know how to respond because she looked so sad then a smile broke across her face.**

"**I'm normal! Well almost normal! I can only hear thoughts when they are basically shouted to me!" We all congratulated her even the recruits who didn't know what to think.**

"**Here," I said passing out the necklaces to all five recruits. "This is to honor those who died during your joining. It is filled with their blood and with it the reminder of the price we pay as Grey Wardens." They all fastened the necklaces on. **

"**Now lets feat!" Roran's voice boomed from Behind us all. Everyone cheerily followed him to a giant dining table. I sat next to Alistair, who was at the head of the table, next to Alistair was Roran and then Bryant Then Cullen Then Ashrylen. Next to me Was Shiri then Zevran then Anelle and finally Orin. **

"**A congratulatory toast to the newest members of the grey wardens!" Roran boomed lifting his glass. We all followed suit and leaving out the new recruits who did not know our motto yet. **

**In Unison Roran, Alistair and I said proudly "In war, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice." We all took a drink and ate heartily, so many conversations going on it was hard to keep track. **

**Afterwards the grey wardens walked to the fire.**

"**So," I whispered to Alistair since we were at the back of the group. "Is this how all joining work?" I asked curious with a tinge of sadness.**

"**Yes. I forget sometimes that you never really had a proper one. After your joining you had to mourn the loss of many and face a blight on your own rather than have a congratulatory feast and be educated on our history by a fire."**

**We all gathered around the Fire as Alistair and Roran, and occasionally myself when I knew what we were talking about, educated our new recruits on our history and duty. I couldn't help but feel it was the beginning of a real family. And I was truly happy.**

**When the moon was high in the sky we called it a night. Alistair and I walked back to our tents.**

"**Wow that was actually fun, I finally understand what ou were talking about!" I laughed and he smiled then his face fell and he squinted into the darkness.**

"**what?" I whispered. He hushed me. I pulled out my staff and readied It but he shook his head as we moved closer I could hear giggling coming from Alistair's tent. He walked up to it and listened for a second and I stayed back a few feet. When Alistair tore open the tent I heard him scream in rage when I ran over I saw what he did. Cullen and Ashrylen kissing, kissing very deeply. He drew his sword.**

"**Alistair no!" I said casting a modified flame weapons spell, making it so hot he dropped the sword. He ran away so quickly I could not follow.**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I turned to Cullen "You have truly behaved heartlessly and improperly, and towards the king no less!" Then I turned to Ashrylen "I think… I think he was actually in love with you Ashrylen, now look what you have done."

I paused for a moment glaring at them both, the ache in my heart was unbearable. Two people I cared about hurt the only one I love.

"Cullen, when I told you to take her as yours I also told you to play fairly. Even being locked in the tower gives you no excuse to disobey common courting courtesy." Cullen lowered his head shamefully. "And you," I said looking sternly at Ashrylen. " You have always done this to any man you are with, you are never satisfied. You break hearts for a living Ashrylen, it worried me that you would as well with Alistair, I think, and it does pain me to say this, he actually loved you with all of his heart. He loved you for you and not you because you were connected to me." I paused and sighed knowing this would get me nowhere, they were still very much like children. "I realize, Cullen, that you love her very much. Ashrylen do not play with his heart, he has had it done to him enough." I said looking at Cullen apologetically. "however, even though you've done what you have, if you are both truly beginning a relationship then, as my friends I wish nothing but the happiest future for you." They smiled slightly at me then each other. "But, as my enemies."

"We're your enemies?" Ashrylen asked confused.

"Yes because you hurt the one I care most for. As my enemies I say to you both stay away from Alistair, I never want you to be near him again, ever." I told them sternly, then turned on my heel and walked away to clean up after our feast.

The new recruits were all already there cleaning up. I walked up and smiled weakly. Shiri pulled me aside out of earshot of everyone else.

"Whats the matter Lenobia? You look dazed." She said a sincere concerned look on her face.

"I-I just have a lot on my mind as of late…have you seen the king?"

"No, we all thought he was with you." She trailed off.

"Well he was but some things came up…I'll be back." I said hurriedly walking away. I needed to go. Now.

"Lenobia! Wait!" Shiri called after me but I did not stop. I continued on until I reached Roran.

"Ah Lenobia so good to see you." He said cheerfully.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"No, Roran. No it's not. Have you seen Alistair?" I asked with an intensity he stepped back a moment.

"Not since the camp fire, why?"

"He's left and on bad terms, I need to straighten this out." I said leaving him standing there stunned. I took off into the forest heading towards the Southron hills. I just kept running breathing heavily, the last thing I needed was an angry king and grey warden. Who knows what might happen if he cant control his temper.

After it was dark and seemed only a few hours from dawn I heard someone.

"Alistair?" I whispered.

"Len-Lenobia?" He asked surprised.

"Yes, I moved out of the shadows as much as possible and saw him.

"What are you doing here?" He sounded like a tranquil, completely emotionless.

"I came to find you. To make sure you were all right. I'm here to help you." I took a concerned step towards him. Then he turned towards me and I stumbled back by the utter hatred burning in his eyes.

"Has it ever occurred to you, Lenobia," he spat my name with hate, "That I don't want your help." His eyes were rimmed red from crying making him look all the more scarier. I stood tall forcing myself not to cower. Before I could answer he continued. "Because I sure as hell don't! You do nothing but cause trouble by barging into people's lives and breaking their hearts!"

"You broke my heart not the other way around!" I retorted angry but scared.

"See, its all about you, I was talking about Cullen who then took my love from me. Because. Of. You. You think you're better than us all because your powerful and the first mage to be revered greatly. People love you and look up to you and you hide from your problems by wondering Ferelden like a lost dog! Lenobia the love the people have for you is fake. They will only love you as long as you continue to protect them, soon there will be no more to protect them from for another 400 years. Don't you see? Soon you'll die a grey warden with little respect. Just as we all do."

"Why are you saying these things?" I asked stunned and angry.

"Can you do nothing but cry?" He asked and my hand went up to my cheek. It was wet, I hadn't even realized I had been crying.

"Are you just trying to hurt me because your hurt? Alistair I am the one who can help you through this!"

"No Lenobia you will only make matters worse, I never want to see you again, I don't care if it means you can't come to Denerim any more. Just don't show your face around me." He turned away so I desperately yelled the one thing that might possibly bring him back.

"You said you would never stop loving me!"

He stopped and with a sigh he turned half towards me and with a venomous glare said "Things change. I don't even think I ever truly loved you, you were just another girl." And then he stalked off. I stared after him until I couldn't see or hear him anymore.

Lost, I started walking. I didn't know what direction and I didn't care. I could care less if I walked off the edge of the world because my world is gone. Everything I've ever lived for-my family, my friends, the tower, Ferelden, Alistair. None of it mattered anymore because all of it had been taken away in one sentence:

_I don't even think I ever truly loved you, you were just another girl._


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

I opened my eyes slowly. "Where am I?"

"Ah, good, you are awake." A familiar voice told me.

"What?" Then I cringed. My head was hurting. "What is wrong with me?"

"Not as much since I first found you and your stupid dog outside my door." That chastising voice was so familiar, why couldn't I place it?

"Well what was wrong with me then and what is wrong with me now?"

"Now, very little, actually you probably just need to lay down for an hour and eat something. However, when I found you, you were much worse off. You were scratched up, probably from your mutt dragging you here, you were crying and whining deliriously you hadn't eaten in probably a few days, you were also badly dehydrated. The only reason I am not angry about you being here right now is for the simple fact your dog brought you here and you most certainly did not consciously choose to come."

"Okay…" I said puzzled squeezing my eyes shut even though I very much wanted to look at the woman talking to me.

"One must wonder what could put a person into such a state though?"

"It is rather complicated, not something to share with strangers." I managed to say.

She laughed. "Alas you do not remember me? Or perhaps you intend to play petty games? Which is it I wonder?" That tone she used I recognized instantly.

Opening my eyes I croaked out, "Morrigan?"

"Ah, so you were just delirious." Then in feigning a hurt voice, "Because if you had forgotten me, well I do not know how I would have gone on!" My stomach growled. "Here, sit up and eat this."

I slowly edged up and taking the bowl I peered into it, "It is simple soup, nothing more, now eat." Morrigan commanded. And I did, when I was finished it was easier to think, breathe, and be upright.

"Why did you take me in?"

She sighed. "If I had left you there to die it would have been a rotting smelling mess and your stupid dog probably would have tried to live here, and I couldn't have that." I looked at her and she continued, "And of course I debated upon throwing you out the door the moment you gained consciousness."

"But you have not…" I said thoughtfully.

"No I have not, although I have little knowledge as to why."

"I do." I told her defiantly.

She chuckled, "Oh do you now? This shall be most intriguing, please, explain."

"Well I remember something along the lines of this being said:

''_Tis a curious thing. I do not know how to describe it.'_

'_What? Is something wrong?'_

'_No, nothing is wrong, it…is a little embarrassing to admit, in fact. I am reminded of our first meeting in the wilds. I had been in animal form for some time watching your progress. I was intrigued to see such a formidable woman, obviously more potent than the men she traveled with. Yet I resented it when Flemeth assigned me to travel with you. I assumed that, at best, you would drive me from you company as soon as we left the wilds.'_

'_Why would I do that?'_

'_I am aware that I have… little talent for forming friendships. To put it lightly, 'Tis something I know nothing of, nor ever thought I needed. Yet when I discovered Flemeth's plans you did not abandon me. Whatever your reasons you fought what must have been a terrible battle without hope of real reward'_

'_I did it because I am your friend.'_

'_And that is what I do not understand. Of all the things I could have imagined would have resulted when Flemeth told me to go with you the very last would have been that I would find in you a friend. Perhaps even a sister. I want you to know that while I may not always prove… worthy… of your friendship I will always value it.'_

She sighed, "Why must you remind me of such unimportant idle talk. surely there are more important things to be discussed."

"Perhaps, but I would rather discuss this."

"Simply because you wish to annoy me?"

I laughed, "Partially perhaps, but mainly because I would hate if the conversation took a turn towards me."

"Ah I see, well let us take that turn anyhow, have you done as I told?"

"Excuse me?" I asked puzzled.

"So that entire conversation sticks with you word for word but in the few moments before possible death you remember nothing?"

"Do you mean after you said no matter what you would be gone?"

"Yes, you said 'and If I die?' so I replied ' Then I would mourn the passing of a friend. Allow me to say only one thing before we go. I knew nothing of friendship before we met, and I will always consider you such'"

"I remember now, you told me 'Live well, my friend. Live gloriously. Now let us see this finally done."

"So have you done as I told?"

"Mostly, it has been troublesome."

"For someone of your stature? I hardly can believe it, but people can be troubling I suppose, even to their hero."

"Yes, well, thank you for saving me."

"I still do not know why."

"Because I am your friend." I said meaningfully. Right now it would seem Morrigan is my only friend in the world but I am violating a promise to her by being here.

"I suppose so."

"However, not a very good one if I do not keep my promise to never interfere in your new life."

"Yes, you should be going, if you are well enough."

"I am," I got up and pulled on my pack. "I have two questions however."

"What do you wish to know?"

"Well where is D-O-G?"

"Outside, where he belongs, I will not have my home smelling of wet dog."

"Alright, and I am not sure how to ask where I am without knowing where I am."

"I see, you mean if you ask where you are then you know where I am as I asked you never to know but If you do not ask you may become lost. I will just tell you then that civilization is in the direction where the trees seem thinnest."

"Okay, it was good to see you again Morrigan, even though it never happened." I said telling her indiscreetly that I would wipe this from my memory and she needn't worry of anymore interference. She nodded, showing me to the door. I stepped outside and ruffled D-O-G's ears.

"Lenobia," she said before I could leave, I turned towards her. "Thank you." I gave her a puzzled look.

"What did I do?"

"You remained my friend and did not ask questions of things I did not wish to discuss and for that I thank you. I imagine it must have been hard." I smiled and nodded, because she was right, I wanted to know about the Old God Child she surely must have given birth to or something, she was showing no signs of pregnancy but not once did I hear or see an infant.

"be well." I told her and left heading towards the brightest, thinnest part of the forest.

"Well D-O-G," I said once Morrigan's hut was out of view, "It has certainly been interesting hasn't it?" He barked in response.

I was contemplating all the things that I would have to deal with when I returned when I saw them. The two children in my dream, the evil ones, or at least the ones I thought were evil. They were standing right in front of me. They looked to be about 7 or 8 years of age. They were both very pale with bright green almost yellow eyes. The girl had long brown hair in pigtails that hug below her ears, her hair reaching just below her chest, she was dressed in a pale white dress. The boy next to her had the same pale brown hair cut to a regular length and he was dressed in a white shirt with faded brown shorts, they were both barefoot and angelically beautiful. But because of what they whispered next I could not fall for their innocent looks,

"join us, Lenobia, Join us."


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"Mother we are home!" The children said together.

"Good supper is ready." Morrigan said with her back to them.

"We found something! Can we keep her? Please, please? Can she stay just a little while?"

Stirring the pot, Morrigan said sternly, "if it is another stray animal the answer is no. Especially if it is a cat, I will not own a hundred cats like some old cat-woman."

"Well I am hardly a cat." I told her.

She spun around, "What are you doing back here?" She sounded more shocked than angry.

"Your…children brought me here and we have much to discuss now." I said trying to communicate the urgency for a private discussion with my eyes.

"Hmmm, about what I can only guess at." she added sarcastically.

"I am sure your guess would be accurate."

"Then it is not to be discussed."

"However, it is to be discussed if it involves a duty of mine." I said trying to be vague in front of the demons standing on either side of me.

"Very well, but know this will be the end of our friendship, this is not what I agreed to!"

"If that is what it must take." I said regrettably.

"very well then, Lenobia, Come and we shall talk privately, then I expect you to leave. Zazike, Razika, Go outside and eat." Morrigan commanded as she led me into a small room, I assumed was hers. "Say what you must and be gone."

"Their names are Zazike and Razika?"

"Yes." She answered curtly, this would not be easy.

"Did you choose these names?"

"They chose them themselves."

"Morrigan, did you not stop to think that it could be the old gods Zazikel and Razikale?" I saw shock cross her face.

"No, but hadn't one or both of those old gods been killed I thought only Lusacan or Urthemial remained."

"Apparently not."

"So you are trying to claim my children are already slain dead gods?"

"well…yes."

"I suppose you will also say they are evil?"

"Morrigan I have had dreams of them, speaking as though they are Arch demons-"

"Of course they are!" she cut me off. "They are old gods!"

"Yes I know, however, they are not just old gods they are arch demons and with the dreams I have been having I think they may be turning animals and humans into darkspawn-like creatures and forming a horde of them and regular darkspawn!"

She looked at me with surprise, then disgust, then disdain. "You expect me to believe that my children are some kind of evil force, well yes I believe that. But they can be controlled. You then expect me to believe that they are raising an army of so called Darkspawn in forms never before heard of. Oh and to top it all off at least one of the two is already believed to be a slain god. Yes you are right Lenobia Let me pick up my torch and pitchfork and warn the other villagers at once!"

"I do not expect you to believe me but-"

"Good because I do not and I will not."

"Fine I will go, just keep an eye on them."

"I do not need your instructions to raise them."

"Very well, but If I may ask, how did they get so old?"

"I- I do not know. I suspect they can change their age and appearance just as they can their shape, but they will not discuss it with me."

"And yet that does not seem suspicious to you?" I murmured as I left her hut and traveled out into the forest.

What am I going to do? I suppose I should discuss this with…with Ali-…With the king. But we are not on good terms. Shiri and Zevran and the other Grey Wardens should be informed, but I am leading them and I am not even certain yet. Roran has most likely went home to Orlais. I have not heard from Leliana since she left the celebration to go find Sketch. I have no idea where Oghren went off to. Wynne is at the Tower, Sten went back to his Qunari people, Shale left with his new freedom.

I have not an ally in the world. Morrigan is right, How am I supposed to get people to believe that Gods we thought we had slain have arisen again in the form of children and are possibly turning humans and animals into Darkspawn-like creatures.

I let out a long sigh towards the setting sun. I was almost out of the trees, I might as well make camp. I pulled out my camping stuff and started a small fire. I lay down on the hard ground and closed my eyes, I had a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and same for the day after that, and the following day after that. Probably a long week, month, or possibly even year…If we even have that long.

_**Remember this? Someone whispered. **_**"And how did it feel when you betrayed our friend Jowan?" The spirit Guard asked and my heart squeezed. I hated myself for it, but should I tell him that?**

_**Or this?**_

"**There is nothing wrong with liking someone."**

"**No it was a silly boy's infatuation. I am long over it now." Cullen told me once he realized I was not a demon. He was over it? But was I over him? I had just found out he liked me back! Now that is no longer the case?**

_**You are pathetic…**_

**Then a scene I recognized all too well. Alistair and I had just kissed in front of Cullen. "No Cullen wait it was a-"**

"**Mistake?" Alistair asked hurt slamming his door, then Cullen was gone as well. I wept sleeping in my own tears.**

_**Do you deserve a friend?**_

"**It will cost you our friendship." Morrigan said. Then the words **_**'lost your only friend' **_**echoed in the air around me, then out of no where the two children appeared in front of me. **_**Remember this?**_** They asked.**

"**I never loved you, you were just another girl." Alistair spat hatefully.**

_**You sabotaged his happiness, you are the evil one…**_

"**Cullen if you want her go after her, talk to her. If you love her you should not be apart even if she is with the king, just play fair."**

_**You are a hypocrite. You cannot lead, you are not strong, you are not loved, you are not a hero.**_

**The two children were in front of me again, circling me.**

"**Of course if you joined us…" Zazikel said.**

"**You could be happy, you could be powerful and pretty…" Razikale added.**

"**You could be loved again." Zazikel concluded.**

"**No I will not join you!" I shouted.**

"**You are so selfish." Zazikel accused.**

"**Yes, always talking about what you will and will not do, always thinking of yourself." Razikale told me.**

"**No wonder you are so alone." **

"**But If you joined us, we would love you, and **_**they **_**would have to bow down." Razikale mimicked a bow.**

"_**They **_**would have to love you." Zazikel put his hand over his heart.**

"_**They**_** would not have a choice."**

"**Who are they?" I asked.**

"**Everyone. All of Ferelden." Zazikel said simply.**

"**All of Thedas." Razikale gestured with her arms opened wide.**

"**They would all love you." **

"**Even Alistair." Razikale said seductively but innocently, taunting me.**

"**No! No I refuse!" I screamed at them.**

"**Very well." Razikale said simply.**

"**Pleasant dreams." Zazikel smiled maliciously at me.**

**Instantly visions and words filled my head.**

"**Your parents aren't coming child."**

"**Jowan how come you and I never…?" "I never thought of you that way."**

"**Go away!"**

"**No I do not feel the same way."**

"**We cannot be together."**

"**You think you can defeat me pathetic girl?"**

"**It is your fault he is dead!"**

"**How could you tear them apart?"**

"**Just following him around for his money!"**

"**Go Away Lenobia!"**

"**Yes, and now I do not need you."**

"**Tell me what is the benefit of doing good? Just look at you, what have you gained?"**

"**You bitch!"**

"**The Arch demon will swallow you whole."**

"**It is because they do not love you."**

"**I am gravely disappointed in you."**

"**You are not worth it."**

"**It is a wonder anyone has the desire to be around you."**

"**The world would be better off without you Lenobia, go, join them, then we will not have to deal with you."**

I let out a terrified shriek as I awoke, it was dawn, I was sweating and crying and shaking. I knew this was not a dream, they were somewhere in the forest filling my head with these lies…but are they really lies? YES! Yes they are do not be foolish! Or maybe I am being foolish for thinking they are lies? What if-

"Lenobia? Is that you?" A woman asked.

"She does not look well." A man added.

"Who-who's there?"

"It is me! Are you okay, you are shaking poor thing."

"Lel-Leliana?"

Want to read more about Leliana? Visit my fan fiction that is now completed entitled Sing Me To Saftey here: .net/s/6625139/1/Sing_Me_To_Safety


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"I just had a nightmare, that is all." That really was all. Half the things that were said were fake images, things that weren't even said…well towards the end of the dreams anyways when everything blurred together. I am still wanted. I am still _needed_.

"That is good to hear." Leliana told me as she looked caringly down at me. WE had such a… well An Interesting past would be the best word to describe it. When we first met I thought she was absolutely crazy, but I accepted her help anyways because she could clearly fight and we could always use help for the Blight. Then at camp she got me talking about shoes. Even though I've lived in Ferelden my whole life I love fashions and so over the topic of Orlesian fashion we opened up to each other.

What happened next with Leliana was something I should have seen coming. She complimented my hair one day and I was happy and found myself feeling happy just being with her. It wasn't love. My heart was already devoted to…a grey warden, even though he hadn't even shown signs of returning my feelings. Not that I expected him to I was in love with him from the moment I heard him teasing a mage at Ostagar.

But nonetheless I was happy to be around Leliana. It was as if she was in a bubble. When I was with her we were just two girls talking as though the world were normal, she wasn't a bard and I a mage, we were just two normal women. We weren't fighting a blight we were just talking in front of a fire. And that was a nice feeling, and that nice feeling came with being around Leliana. So when she told me she wanted to be together I told her I don't know. But I didn't think properly and before Morrigan, shale, the only other grey warden in Ferelden and myself headed off to the tower as our first destination after Lothering I told her I felt the same way. I told her I couldn't be happier and she was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I sincerely thought I meant it.

Well after the tower had been saved I accepted Wynn's help. I had many meaningful and helpful conversations with her. Then the one that changed Leliana and my relationship.

"_You're quite taken with each other aren't you?" _Wynne had asked me that night at camp. I asked her who and she informed me Leliana. She also told me I should end it before I cause her too much pain when I have to choose my duty over my love. I hated her for it and went to Orzammar with Alistair, Morrigan, and Shale. But all through it I thought of how much I was falling for Alistair and how Wynne was right. I finished all my tasks and while making camp I decided upon how I would break up with Leliana. I never got that chance. I can barely remember the conversation because I have blocked it from my memory but it went something like:

"_Hi Lel-" I began_

"_You're in love with Alistair!" She accused, interrupting me._

"_What?" I asked taken aback._

"_Do not pretend! I am not blind! What are you doing? Playing with my feelings?" She asked angry and hurt._

"_Of course not!" I defended because it was true._

"_Then are you playing with his feelings? Because, Lenobia, that is just wrong! He absolutely adores you."_

"_I know…" I trailed off guiltily._

"_So does this mean everything you've said to me was untrue?" I swore I could see tears forming in her eyes._

"_No, Leliana I meant everything I said to you it is just now… I think Alistair is better for me." I looked away not being able to take the hurt in her eyes._

"_Oh… I see." She said as she turned away from me, looking up to the sky. So I left her in peace._

After that I went and helped Oghren get Felsi back, then we visited Shale's old Thaig, and finally went back to the Kocari Wilds to kill Flemeth and succeeded. When I returned to camp Leliana approached me and this conversation is one I remember exactly.

"_You know I think I'm glad that Alistair and you have found each other. He is a good man._

"_I hope your not upset."_

"_No, Well, not anymore." she paused then a huge smile spreading across her face like the one I knew so many times before, "So…Details! How did this all start? Where is it going? Let me live vicariously through you, yes?"_

_I laughed. "Okay well, It kind of started at Ostagar but then didn't think too much of it. Anyways he gave me a rose once and said…."_

We spent the rest of the night talking about Alistair and I and Sketch and herself.

"Yes it is good to hear." I told her standing up and pulling myself back to the present. "And this is Sketch?" I asked looking at the elf who was about Leliana's height and very attractive with brown hair and wearing blue robes, clearly a mage.

"Yes, you must be Lenobia." He said extending his hand. I gave Leliana a 'did you get your happy ending?' look and she nodded almost imperceptibly smiling. So Instead I hugged sketch, taking him by surprise, I pulled back, my hands on his shoulders and smiled.

"You know, she waited along time and fought for her life to get you." He nodded. "And she is very much in love with you."

"And I am very much in love with her." He added.

"Wonderful!" I exclaimed cheerfully and in that same tone added, "Now she has been hurt one to many times and if you ever hurt her again I will snap that pretty head off those shoulders, Mage or no."

He looked shocked and worried until Leliana started laughing and hugged me. Sketch laughed as well. "I am so glad you haven't changed!" Leliana exclaimed, then turning to sketch. "I've already told her much about you and she will treat you like family no questions, as you can tell."

Sketch smiled, and it was a nice smile I could see how one could fall for him. Not that I was interested, I wasn't in the least. "Well I'm glad to hear it." Sketch said.

I sighed. "I do wish this happiness could last but you have caught me at a dire time."

Leliana took on a more serious expression. "What is it?" then she whispered, "Is it Alistair?"

"I half smiled. "Partially, yes, but that is not my main concern. As of now Alistair hates my guts and never wants to see me again. I found myself utterly lost and wandered onto Morrigan's doorstep."

"No." Leliana gasped appalled, surprised, and interested.

"Yes! And I fear a blight is upon us."

"Wait, we just had a blight a year and a half ago." Sketch questioned.

"Yes I know, which is why I fear few will believe me when I say that we have another one and to be worse it is disguised and unlike anything we've seen before."

"What do you mean?"

"Really I would rather explain this to everyone at once. I have the other Grey Wardens, save for Alistair, at Soldiers Peak. We shall confer there, however I would like to get Morrigan to join us, as well as Alistair."

"Are those the only ones from our party left in Ferelden?"

"To my knowledge Wynne is in the tower, but I can send word and she will come without question, Zevran and Shiri have been made Grey Wardens-"

"Shiri?" Leliana asked.

"Oh she is a Dalish elf…well not really anymore, who I met and Zevran fell in love with, both have been made grey Wardens at their own choice."

"Wow, much has changed." Leliana said contemplatively.

"Continue." Sketch urged.

"Oh yes, and I believe Shale is in the deep roads, Oghren is living at Lake Callenhad with Felsi. And I think Sten is still with the Qunari."

"No he isn't." Sketch said.

"You know Sten? How?"

"Oh he doesn't. We ran into him in Lothering, he was actually just passing by Lothering." Leliana informed me.

"Yes, we tried to get him to come and have a drink or maybe a meal with us but he was adamant about not going to Lothering." Sketch shrugged.

"Well he's had troubles. Do you know where he was headed?"

"All he said was south, I am thinking maybe Ostagar."

"Well he was always curious about that…hmmm Could you maybe help me?"

"of course." Sketch and Leliana answered together.

"Great." I smiled. "Here is what I need you to do, go into Ostagar and convince Sten to come up to soldiers peak, he will probably know how to get there on his own, then, even though she doesn't like you, I need you to try to convince Morrigan to come to Soldiers peak."

"Why me?" Leliana asked obviously not wanting to see Morrigan again.

"Because she hates me and doesn't trust me."

"That seems to be the case with many people right now." Sketch observed.

I nodded solemnly, "Unfortunately. Anyways, I will send word to Alistair and Retrieve Oghren and Shale. Wynne will get message and be on her way, you will most likely arrive there before me so just tell Levi that I sent you and you are friends or the grey wardens. He should let you in no problem but should trouble arise just have Zevran vouch for you."

"It is good to see you and be safe." Leliana told me hugging me again.

"Nice to meet you Lenobia. We will see you soon." He hugged me as well and headed in the direction of Morrigan's house. I guess they are going for the hardest first, I suppose I should send my messages out now to Alistair and Wynne and then go get Shale.

Without looking back I focused my mind on only one thing: Finding Shale. It should be nice to see…her, er it, again. I smiled to myself and set off.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"Hello." I said to the guard just inside the Orzammar commons.

"Ah, warden, good to see you again. What can I do for ya?"

"Well, I'm looking for…a Golem." I said uncertainly hoping not to sound like an idiot.

"Do you mean Shale?"

"Yes, where is Shale?"

"Just went to go watch a proving." he said gesturing behind him to the proving grounds.

"Can I still get in?"

"If you hurry."

"Thank you!" I called as I ran up the long bridge that took me to the proving grounds. I found Shale in the audience with no problem, Shale had to sit in the Aisle because…she? Is so big. I sat down.

"Hello Shale."

"What is it doing here?" Shale asked genuinely surprised.

"Well I am here to ask for your help. Again."

"What does it need help with now?" Shale asked but didn't sound irritated.

"Another blight." I whispered.

"What?" Shale asked but I could hear interest in its voice.

"It is a lot to explain but I fear everyone will dismiss this blight because it is so unlike anything we have ever seen and so soon. I have everyone gathering at soldiers peak and I was hoping you would join me?"

"Hmmm, well do you know how respected I am here? They have given me my own house and a monument." I pleaded with my eyes after shale told me this. "But I suppose I could help save the moronic squishy humans. Again." Shale said in her normal tone.

"Perfect! Thank you! We must leave right away!"

"Very well." Shale said as we both got up and left Orzamar, heading next to Lake Callenhad.

Arriving at Lake Callenhad I ran right into Wynn.

"Oh! Lenobia, it is you, I received your message." She told me a bit startled.

"Good, I knew they couldn't keep you in the tower." I smiled at her.

"They never have been able to, I always find some excuse. Where are you off to?"

"The Spoiled Princess to get Oghren. You can wait outside with Shale if you wish."

"Certainly." She told me as I walked down the steep hill and into the Spoiled Princess.

"Hi welcome to the- Warden?" Felsi greeted me.

"Yes it is me can I see-"

"Oghren!" She hollered for him before I could even ask and walked away.

"Hello Lenobia."

"Hi Oghren, I see you are still with Felsi."

"Yes and thank you for that." Then he chuckled, "Really, thank you for that you would not-"

"Oghren," I smiled, "You're a great friend but I really do not need to know about _that_." He just chuckled.

"So what can I do ya for?"

"Well I kind of need your help against the Blight."

"Am I having some kind of flashback from being to sodding drunk again?"

"No, no. It is a long story but a blight threatens the land and no one will believe it, even coming from my mouth."

"Well of course they won't! Its only been a year and a half since the last one!"

"I know… and that's not the only thing that is different but really I cannot explain it here, I have everyone meeting me at Soldiers Peak."

"Everyone meaning the old gang is back together?"

"Yes if they will all come as well as 5 new additions."

"heh, alright Warden I'll come help you just let me, heh, you know." I clearly had a questioning look because he continued, "Polish the footstones," I didn't get it and he continued, "Buck the forbidden horse," Yet he continued, "Forge the moaning statue, roll the oats, Polish the ol' Anvil-"

"Enough Oghren! Please, just do what you must and…I will be waiting outside."

As I walked out I heard him yell "Hey Felsi, think we can set a new time record?" I shuddered.

"Why does it look disturbed?"

"Lets say I heard Oghren say some things I wish I wouldn't have."

"Ah, say no more the drunken Dwarf has a more disgusting mind than smell." Shale said and then walked off to look at something.

When Oghren came out not too long later we headed off to Soldiers Peak.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

"I'm glad you all came." I said looking pointedly at Morrigan and then Alistair.

"What is this about?" Alistair asked testily.

"The blight!" I snapped, then rubbed my forehead. "Okay we've all had long travels here let's retire to our rooms and I will cook something up for dinner and we can eat and introduce ourselves, then talk strategy. Okay with everyone?" Everyone either nodded or ignored me. Wonderful Morrigan and Alistair could actually bond over their hatred for me right now. I went to the room Levi told me could be mine and lay down for a nap.

"_**Show me the book" A voice of an obviously older woman surrounded me. I was sitting in a small area in a forest only it was as if the trees and hills and stones around me formed a miniature temple.**_

"_**What? Who are you?"**_

"_**I need the book to show you what you need."**_

"_**What book?"**_

_**The woman appeared in front of me. She had long straight white hair but her face was creased with wrinkles, even so she was beautiful. Her ears peeked out of her hair telling me that she was an elf. She had an ancient beauty about her and her tattoos definitely added to that feel.**_

" _**E Parma Os E Teiraesor Iluuve."**_

"_**That sounds so familiar…."**_

"_**Yes, Da'len, because you carry it."**_

"_**I do?"**_

"_**You have for some time, even though it is in the back of your mind the mystery is still there I need to tell you what the book says."**_

"_**You mean the little red book?" I asked unsure.**_

"_**Yes, give it to me and I will translate it for you." She said eagerly.**_

"_**I don't know… what if this book holds some kind of answer and your just the Arch demons in disguise?"**_

"_**This is your dream you could just as easily control it as I do, I am but spirit in the fade, but a good spirit at that."**_

_**For some reason I felt like I could trust her so I pulled out the book and handed it to her. "Please, what does it say? I feel like Duncan wanted me to see it!" I urged.**_

"_**He did, Now it is titled: The Book Of The Mysterious Universe."**_

"_**Wow, what does it say inside?" I asked even more interested.**_

"_**The warning says: All Who Seek The Answer To The Unknown Shall Be Rewarded With One Look Into This Book. But, Beware One Look Can Change Life FOREVER! "**_

"_**So should I be hearing this?"**_

"_**Not all of it. I will read you only what is necessary for you to do what is needed of you now. Listen closely child.**_

" _**Some Day there will be a great distress. There will be one lone woman, you, And she will be required for the survival of our world. It will not be easy. She will gain friends and lose them. She cannot lose hope. It will be required of her to stay strong and to beat them-"**_

"_**Wait, who is this them? Does it mean my friends?" I interrupted.**_

"_**it means the evil." She answered before continuing. "To Beat them you must share the glory, share the blow."**_

"_**You read this as if it is written directly for me."**_

"_**Because it is, young one. Each section in this book has been read to people destined for greatness, destined to carry the weight of our world and the responsibility of everyone's lives on their shoulders. There is a passage for everyone of those people, this book is ever changing and can only be read by me, it is why I stay in the Fade instead of sitting by the maker after all these years. Duncan had a passage read to him once in a dream much like this."**_

"_**He did?"**_

"_**Why of course. How else do you think he found you and left this book right where you could find it? This is your answer to the universe. Heed it well. Stay confident, even when you are alone, even if you've not a friend in the world, you must remain strong for the world, child." She started to disappear then.**_

"_**But wait! I have questions!"**_

_**The woman was gone but her voice remained, she chuckled. "We all do my child. But your answer has been provided. You have been through so much already, have confidence in yourself." Then she appeared right in front of me, placing her withered, smooth hands gently on either side of my face she kissed my forehead just as a mother would and whispered, "I know you can do this my child."**_

I woke up smiling for once. For some reason she helped me feel like I could do it. I went downstairs and started to cook dinner. That is when Alistair walked in.

"Hello." He said bitterly. I was chopping up vegetables for the stew, I had already had Levi start the meat for me. I slammed the knife down and turned towards him.

"What Alistair? You wanted me out of your life since I'm just another girl," I said painfully recalling the night he said he had never truly loved me. "Yet you are the one to approach me. The only reason you're here right now is because this is Grey Warden Business and since you are technically the Senior grey warden you need to be present. So what in the name of the Maker could you possibly gain from being bitter towards me?" I asked more than angry. I hadn't raised my voice at all but the anger in it was more than clear.

"See this is why I cannot stand to be around you! You sabotage everyone else's happiness, then you don't understand how they could be mad at you for it! All I said was hello!" He defended.

"it's the way you said it Alistair." I turned and started cutting again then turned around and gestured to him, knife in hand, all though I certainly was not threatening him. "And please stop pretending you were so completely in love with Ashrylen! You just want a reason to hate me!"

"Why would I need a reason to hate you?" He shouted angrily.

"Because," I shouted, "You need to hate me so you can try to forget you love me!" He took a step back and I turned around cutting vegetables. We were both silent because what I had just spoken was so true neither of us could speak. We both knew it though. I realize now that he really does love me, he always has. He honestly could never bring himself to hate me. I turned and saw the same realization on his face as I dumped the vegetables in the stew pot over the fire and started on the dough for the cookies. I was making them especially for Sten since he had told me it was the one thing he liked about Ferelden. I looked back at Alistair wanting to say something, but really it was his turn. I already saw he recognized it as the truth but would he admit it? He met my eyes and then just turned and walked away.

I finished with the cookie dough and put them in the oven, which is when Sten came in.

"I recognize this smell."

I smiled. "I am baking cookies."

"Why?" He asked. Although I could see the bit of hopefulness in his eyes.

"Because I remember you telling me they were the only thing you liked about Ferelden. And you have been with your people for over a year now, and a year without cookies is too long, in my opinion." Sten actually smiled at me. I had never seen him smile before.

"Yes, a year is too long."

"Well, I have this for you." I said handing him a piece of paper.

"What is it?" I forgot how few words Sten spoke. Always straight to the point.

"A recipe for cookies that you can take back home and make some, so you can have cookies whenever you want."

"Thank you, this was unexpected."

"Your welcome, please tell everyone dinner is ready." He grunted and gathered everyone in the Dining Hall.

We all ate the stew and everyone enjoyed it. A lot of us laughed at Zevran's crazy stories and we had a heated debate when Shiri and Zevran agrees that death happens whether it is by a slip on the stairs or an assassin.

Later we went to a common room and all sat down, Shale was glad for the extra room and very pleased it could fit a Golem. I brought out the cookies and started things.

"Okay so We all know most of us so do I need to go through all the introductions?"

"You may as well all the soft squishy ones look the same to me." Shale said.

"Alright well, you all know me and Alistair so this is Morrigan, Zevran, Shiri, I met her in the forest and she is in love with Zevran. This is Sten, Shale, Oghren, Orin, Anelle, and Bryant are our newest Grey Warden Recruits. This is Wynne, Leliana, and Sketch, Sketch is a bard as well as Leliana's love, they met before the Blight."

"So this blight Is different, explain." Wynn prompted.

"Well see the blight is soon, which is the first major difference but there are two arch demons now and they are raising an army of humans and animals and darkspawn who all act like darkspawn, and not darkspawn corrupted. They are also in human form, more importantly children form."

"Would you stop accusing my children of this! I know they are arch demons! You and Alistair know they are arch demons! But there is no second blight!"

"Your children are arch Demons?" Anelle asked surprised.

"I am hardly surprised." Shale said and everyone else murmured agreements, which made me want to laugh.

"Oh yes its perfectly sensible that Morrigan has demon children, you may all stop trying to hold your snickers back now." She said in her usual tone.

"Wait how did these arch Demon children even come to be? No one just gives birth to an old god."

"And more importantly who would polish the anvil with Morrigan?" Oghren burst out. Which made Zevran crack up in laughter which Shiri elbowed him to stop even though she was holding back a laugh as well.

"Well since you think its so funny Alistair tell them of your bastards." Morrigan said bluntly not wanting to be the subject of these jests any longer.

"I…well…You swore this would never come up!" He said eyes narrowed at me.

"I was just looking for a way out of certain death since I had to save your kingly ass and there was no way Riordan would succeed!" I defended my choice.

"Okay, okay, some one needs to explain what is going on here." Zevran said.

"I knew an ancient ritual that would allow the wardens to live." Morrigan said.

"Since the warden who slays the Arch Demon gets his soul inside them which is too much for the Warden to bear and then dies." I informed them and Alistair shot daggers at me, "Alistair, don't give me that look! Most of the people here are Grey Wardens and the rest are trustworthy."

"Oh yes because it states clearly that you can tell grey warden secrets to Grey Wardens and anyone you want to as long as they are _trustworthy_!"

"Oh just shut up Alistair!" Morrigan semi-came to my defense. "So Alistair and I had sex which got me pregnant which offered a better place for the arch demons soul to go when it was killed."

"So you gave birth to old gods, makes sense now that we know what's going on." Orin said.

" All I want to know how it was buddy, heh." Oghren said to Alistair who rolled his eyes.

"Wait so they should be what? 6 months old?" Leliana asked.

"Well since they are demons I think they took on whatever form they wanted and they now look to be about 8-10 years old."

"And they are powerful, I suspect." Wynn added.

"So why was this a secret?" Bryant asked.

"Because no one could know about Morrigan's dark ritual and my bastard children, which everyone now knows that secret." Alistair said unhappily.

"So anymore secrets?" Shiri asked as I got up to go get the rest of the cookies.

"Well, while we are telling secrets I do have one." When Zevran said it my heart skipped a beat and I turned around slowly staring at him. "You see I have not been completely honest with you." he told Shiri, but looked at me.

"Zevran." I warned pleading not to tell.

"Maybe We should go?" Wynne asked

"No sodding way!" Oghren said so Wynne just took the plate and promptly came back with more cookies as I sat down slowly not taking my eyes off Zevran.

"Zev, what is it?" Shiri asked. I could feel her gaze flicking back and forth between Zevran and I just as everyone else was. Except for Alistair, I could feel his eyes on me, but I never looked from Zevran.

"You see," He said taking his eyes off me and looking at Shiri, "After the Lands meet there was someone I did not tell you about…" He began and I stared at him. Make something stop him! Why can't he just burst into flames? I thought.

"Is it a little hot in here?" Zevran asked running a hand through his hair.

"Oops, sorry." I chuckled nervously.

"See after the lands meet Lenobia had been dumped by Alistair and she came to me to confide:

"_So you chose him?" I asked feeling hurt._

"_Well I did, but it looks as though he hasn't chose me. I cannot be his queen." Lenobia told me._

"_Well you could always be the woman on the side." I joked trying to make her feel better._

"_he can never be with me again, Zevran." she said trying not to cry, I saw Alistair staring at us so I ushered her into my tent so we could talk in private. Then she started to cry. "Why didn't I just choose you?" She asked._

"_I ask myself that every day Lenobia." I told her grimly._

" _I'm sorry I shouldn't be doing this." She told me moving to leave. I held her by the wrist and laughed._

"_You don't know how many times a woman has looked at me and said that. Oddly the crying followed…maybe I am not as good in bed as I think." I teased myself and it got her to laugh. It was a joyous sound. "So since he is a king I'm guessing it involves politics."_

"_Yes, I cannot bear a child for him because I am a grey Warden."_

"_See I was right politics only deals in sex, maybe I should get more involved in them…" I smiled as she laughed more._

Then we stayed up talking and she…spent the night in my tent to put it lightly. After-"

"Zevran Why-" Shiri interrupted.

But I interrupted her, "No Shiri just listen to the rest." I said, I was now leaning back against the wall with my eyes closed knowing everyone was staring at me anyways.

"Later when, well, Morrigan was with Alistair, Lenobia visited my room…

"_Zevran?" She knocked on my door._

"_Come in Lenobia." I called, I was polishing my boots._

"_Alistair is with Morrigan right now, sleeping together." She blurted and I looked up in surprise._

"_Really? That is an interesting pairing, and so soon too."_

"_I told him to and it was the hardest thing I've ever done." She admitted. I looked up at her then._

"_You still love him." I stated._

"_What?"_

"_You still love Alistair don't you?"_

"_I don't know." She said looking away._

"_I love you Lenobia." I told her firmly._

"_You what?" She asked her head snapping back up at me._

"_I love you, do you love him? Because I cannot love you if you will never love me back." I said and she looked away. "I love you Lenobia, do you love me?" I demanded softly._

_She was still looking away then she took a deep breath and looked at me. In a voice full of regret and desperation she whispered, "I wish I did." Her eyes full of sorrow also had bags under them from not sleeping well during the little time she got to sleep._

"_Me too." I whispered because it was all I could say._

So it ended and we fought the blight." Zevran finished hesitantly.

Then the room exploded.

Shiri was asking, why hide just this encounter?

Alistair was asking how could you do that to me so soon? His voice full of hurt.

Oghren was saying that he knew he heard something that night.

Morrigan was yelling at me for bringing her and her children into this.

Zevran was trying to calm Shiri down.

I was trying to explain what happened to Alistair while yelling at Zevran.

Wynne was trying to get us all to calm down.

Leliana wanted to know how I could go have sex with Zevran after Alistair and I just broke up.

Shale just wanted to know why I would even have sex with Zevran.

Sten said he knew he shouldn't be here, everyone was too filled with emotion.

Sketch, Anelle, Orin, and Bryant sat there not knowing what to do or think.

Finally Alistair's voice broke through all others. "I cannot believe you would do this to me. You sleep with him in the tent next to mine then you get Cullen to take Ashrylen from me, what next?"

"You had Cullen break them up? Leliana asked appalled.

And before I knew it each and everyone one of them save for Orin, Anelle and Bryant Left. Shiri and Zevran went to their room to sort it out since they were Grey wardens and had to remain. Now my one chance at ending this blight is ruined as the only people who can help me scatter back to their parts of the world.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I had my 5 other Grey Wardens gathered in the main hall. "I am going to Denerim. I need to see the king and work things out, believe it or not this is the blight. I know Anelle and Bryant have had some dreams about it. We cannot put it off any longer, I should be back shortly. However, if I'm not back right away do not worry just please continue to help Levi if he needs it and figure out what we are going to do about this, I'll be thinking on it as well."

It was only the night after the argument so they all pretty much just nodded, Anelle called a soft "good Luck!" to me as I walked out the door making the day's journey to Denerim, to see the king it what I hoped wouldn't end in disaster.

"Your Majesty you have a visitor." A serving maid who identified herself as Dezrina lead me in the room where Alistair was sitting. I recognized it as his room the place where he kept everything I gave him, although few of the things I gave him were displayed.

"Oh, Lenobia, come in I suppose." He gestured to a seat and I sat down. "What do you need?" He asked trying to remain neutral and acting absorbed in his papers.

"I need to talk to you. You have to be having the dreams of the blight."

"I have had weird dreams but weird dreams are natural after what we have been through." He reasoned.

"You sound just like Duncan." I blurted before I could stop myself. It wasn't an insult I said it affectionately but the pain in his eyes was too much to bare. I forced myself to look in them anyways. "I didn't mean it as a bad thing, I shouldn't have-"

"No it is fine." He dismissed me.

"Where is all the stuff that used to be up on your walls?"

"I took a lot of it down because…" he paused changing his mind. "Because I needed to." He finished lamely. I knew he wasn't telling me something, we used to tell each other everything.

"What happened to us? We used to be so close."

"this happened." He said gesturing to the crown he had taken off. I knew he never liked to wear it when he didn't have to and he never did in his private study.

"No." I said defiantly.

"No what?"

"What happened to us is we tried so hard to stop loving each other we ended up hating each other." I said the truth suddenly so clear. It registered with him right then too.

He rubbed his forehead, "You're right." That shocked me. I knew I was but I never expected him to admit it. "The only solace we gave each other after we broke- I mean I broke up with you is that we would remain friends."

"And now we are fighting all the time." I finished for him.

"And lying to each other. You never told me about Zevran and I didn't mean a word I said out in the forest outside of Ostagar."

"You didn't?" I asked hopefully.

"Didn't you know? I thought you had figured that out."

"I guess I did…It just helps to hear it from you." I admitted.

"Come over here." He said and I sat on the arm of his chair. "Look at this." he said as he held up a letter that looked like a reply saying the statue for Duncan in Highever was completed.

"You actually did it. I remember you saying you would have a statue built but that was so long ago." I said in amazement.

"Yes, and I plan to leave today to go see it. Would you like to join me? It is only a two day travel…" He trailed off. This was the perfect opportunity for us to become close again, and we both knew it. Just so long as we didn't become to close we would be fine.

"Of course I will go, I have everything in my pack that I could leave right now." I told him and he gestured to a pack in the corner.

"I do too, I was getting ready to leave right as you came in actually."

"Well perfect timing on my part then." I smiled as we both hoisted our packs and walked out of Denerim together.

"Oh and there was this one woman, she had the worst accent! I'm not even sure if it was real, it was like nothing you've ever heard before!" He laughed and I joined him as he told me more about the horrible women who have been lined up so he can pick one to marry. "She also thought I was already hers as if I had chosen her the moment she walked in the door!"

I laughed unrolling my bedroll. "Wow I didn't even know there women such as these in the world!" I exclaimed turning towards him.

"Ive seen just about every kind there is." he said trying to start a fire.

"Let me help you with that," I smiled and thought about the spell flame blast going to the fire pit and within a second it was burning brightly.

Alistair laughed. "Remind me to bring a mage with me whenever I go traveling."

I smiled, "Hey I'm always walking somewhere I'm sure you could just yell my name and I'd come running, fire ready." He smiled back and started cooking.

"So have you gotten any better at cooking since the last time we camped together?" I asked not liking the memory of the last time we camped together seeing as how we had been broken up and I was sleeping with Zevran.

"Lets hope. But probably not, the cooks do it all now so I've little practice."

"I guess I should have cooked."

"Don't worry the head chef made a whole list of how to cook the foods she packed."

"Well that's a relief." I smiled. I loved how easy we were talking but that only meant that by the time we took the trip back we would be onto the much harder conversations.

"So how long do you think it will get there now?" I asked since we had walked much longer than expected, we had even already passed Soldiers Peak.

"About half a day at most."

"Good, I'm excited to see the statue. Duncan deserves to be honored in his home town." I said and the food was ready then. We ate mostly in silence since we were so tired. Our bedrolls were set up right next to each other and we went to sleep.

The next morning I woke up and yawned I opened my eyes and saw the sun had just risen. I smiled at the warmth of Alistair's arm around me, protecting me. WAIT, WHAT! I jumped up so fast it woke Alistair up.

"What what is it?" He asked alert.

"Nothing, just thought I, um, felt a, uh, spider on me. Dreadful creatures."

He smiled none the wiser and arched his eyebrow in that teasing grin I knew so well, "Oh Lenobia, mage and Grey warden defeater of the blight, is scared of a tiny little spider?" He chuckled.

I smiled faintly, "Well everyone has their weaknesses I happen to know yours is a minor obsession with you hair and a love for fine cheeses."

"Oh you remember that do you?" He asked as he started rolling up his bed. I put the fire out and did the same. We were too close still. In our sleep our brains took over and did what our hearts wanted, for us to be close to each other, to love each other.

The rest of the trip to Highever flew by. I asked Alistair of the servants in his palace and he asked me if I had ever tried to freeze fire. Incidentally I had and it doesn't work.

As soon as we walked into Highever it was in view. The statue was beautiful and right in the center of everything. It was a statue of Duncan in grey warden armor leading Cailan, Alistair and Myself into battle. Then behind that were the unrecognizable faces representing Dwarves, Elves, and Humans alike. Also representing Warriors, rogues, and Mages alike. It brought tears to my eyes, and even though I hadn't taken my eyes off the statue I could tell Alistair was at the very least on the verge of tears. Duncan's face was sculpted perfectly I thought I was looking into his stern but caring eyes. I managed to make my feet move to the statue to read the plaque at the bottom. In big letters it read:

In war, Victory. In peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.

Then in smaller print all the names of everyone who had fallen at Ostagar beginning with Duncan and Cailan.

Alistair was on his knees in front of it when the man came up. I had no idea who he was but he knew my name like so many these days.

"Ah Lenobia, or is my lady more appropriate?"

"Lenobia is fine."

"How do you like it?"

Wiping the tears from my eyes I answered, "It is perfect. It really is the most beautiful thing I've seen."

"I am so glad you like it, and his majesty?" He asked eying alaistair wearily.

"He is in awe, just as I. You have our deepest thanks, truly." Then the man walked off without giving us his name and I pulled Alistair up because it was time to get started on our walk home.

We walked for about half a day and ended up camping in the exact same spot. We didn't really say much to each other, we were busy dwelling on the past. The only thing Alistair really said was that if we walk until the late evening tomorrow we can make it back to Denerim.

I yawned and opened my eyes, my head was on Alistair's chest. Instead of freaking out this time I reluctantly removed his arm from me and sat up. I cooked breakfast and it was ready as soon as Alistair woke up.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Last night."

"Oh don't worry about it. it isn't like it was something you could control, it kind of just happens I guess and its normal and-"

Alistair cut off my babbling. "What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Breaking down in front of the statue and then being silent the rest of the night. What were you talking about?"

"Um nothing." I said hurriedly handing him a plate, "here is your breakfast, eat up!" I said and started to eat.

"What were you talking about?" He asked smiling.

I just pointed to my full mouth.

"I can wait here all day and you can't chew on that forever."

When I swallowed I smiled, "Wanna bet?" He laughed.

"Seriously tell me." He smiled.

"No way." I said blushing.

"fine." He conceded with a sigh. That wasn't like him, what is he up to? We finished breakfast and packed up and started walking. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Fine? Just a sigh and fine? Seriously?" I exclaimed in shock. Alistair cracked up then. "what?"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to take that answer!" He laughed.

"Oh please, it had to be killing you too!"

"Oh it was my dear lady" he teased, "But apparently I have better willpower! I am the winner!"

"hah, enjoy it! It is the only thing you'll win at against me." I smiled knowingly.

"Oh, ow! Hit straight through the heart!" He said clutching his chest and falling to the ground. I giggled at his dramatics and offered my hand to help him up. He took it but instead pulled me down. "I guess I've just put on too much kingly weight lately!" He joked.

"Oh so when your royalty getting fat is called kingly weight?"

"Ow again! You know just how to keep me down." He said rolling on his side to look at me. "Ah you know the dirt is so beautiful from this angle." I giggled. I was the only one who found his dumb jokes funny.

"Well I would push you over but I fear all that kingly weight might cause an earthquake."

"hey!" he laughed and I stared at the sky and the clouds. When my smile faded he asked me, "What were you talking about earlier?" it was a soft but seriously curious question.

I sighed giving in to him like always. "The first night we camped, I felt the imaginary spider because we were…close and your arm was around me. Which is why I jumped in the first place." I stared up at the clouds, I couldn't be sure but I thought he was studying my face. "And then this morning we were cuddled up with my head on your chest and your arm around me so I gently moved as to not wake you but then I thought maybe I did wake you and you just pretended to stay asleep. So when you started in on your whole sorry about last night speech I lost it and babbled like a crazy cat woman." He cracked up then and I turned to look at him. "What is so funny?"

"Like a crazy cat woman? That is an understatement!"

"Oh well thank you for making fun of me again!"

"Make fun of you dear lady? Oh no never." He said attempting a straight face.

"Never? Only if never means every chance you get." I smiled unwillingly.

"I love making fun of you to much to stop." It was then that I realized how close we were. Here we were joking and laying on the ground our faces inches from one another. And he looked deep into my eyes and I wanted to kiss him I wanted to tell him there would be some way we could work this all out so we could be together like we had wanted so much before. But nothing would come out I just kept staring back into those gorgeous eyes.

"I love…" He began moving closer to me. We were so close now. Just one kiss and we could figure everything out. One kiss and we would be motivated to figure this out so we could stay together. One kiss would solve all of our problems.

He opened his mouth again, I was ready for him to say 'you' to finish his sentence, "I'm getting married." he blurted. I blinked my eyes clearing the fog in my head and jumping up off the ground and standing away from him. I noticed for the first time that soldiers peak was right in view.

"YOU'RE WHAT!"

"To a woman named Alaena."

"Who? What?" I stammered trying to get a grip on myself. He moved closer but I held up my hand. "No. Stay back. I do not know who you are and I want you nowhere near me." I said backing towards Soldiers Peak.

"Lenobia, I meant to tell you when you came to me in my castle but-"

"that's why all the gifts I gave you were taken down, she didn't like them being up. That is why Dezrina eyed me cautiously, that is why the castle had been changed so much, she is taking over. She is your Anora." I shook my head in disbeleif.

"Lenobia." he said grabbing onto my wrist before I could turn away. He pulled me to look into his eyes. "I know I should have told you earlier but when I saw how happy you were I couldn't and then the Duncan statue distracted me and-"

"No Alistair. Enough excuses. I let you in again thought we were getting close, telling each other everything, and now…now we are right back to where we were after I made you king." I said letting the tears freely fall down my face.

"No we aren't we-"

"No you are right we aren't back to where we were. No now it is a lot worse, I haven't a friend in the world right now and the only person I love is to be married. Not to mention I am going to have to go face hordes of Humans and animals turned darkspawn as well as darkspawn themselves plus two, not one but two, Arch demons. And I am going to have to do it all on my own. So thank you for tricking me into falling for you again Alistair, I couldn't be happier." I yelled as I ran away to soldiers peak just as it started to rain. Fitting.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

_**I was standing by a river. Drakon River. I don't know how I knew I just did. The wind was blowing in my hair because I was standing on a hill. Not too far from the hill a great army of twisted darkspawn was in front of me and at the head the two Arch demons. They both jumped up to my hill.**_

"_**So you face us alone in two days." Razikale asked but it wasn't really a question.**_

"_**yes and I plan to beat you." I said trying to muster up my confidence and intimidate them.**_

"_**Well good luck to you. Do you not see our army?" Zazikel gestured behind him.**_

"_**How can one mage defeat all of this?" Razikale asked, speaking in turn with her brother as always.**_

"_**I will not be alone I will have 5 other Grey Wardens with me." I stated simply, wandering how something so innocent, so young could be so evil. The I remembered what mouse had told me "Beware, Mage, Looks can be deceiving. Even the seemingly most innocent of people will turn out to harness much more power than you could ever imagine."**_

_**His advice has saved me often I thought.**_

"_**Oh so an army of 6 grey wardens against thousands of darkspawn and 2 Arch demons?" Zazikel laughed. Razikale joined him and it was hauntingly beautiful.**_

"_**Our offer still stands. You may still join us, all you have to do is say it Lenobia." Razikale offered.**_

"_**I will never join you." I told them determined to win this.**_

"_**Such a pity." They said together giggling their hauntingly beautiful melodic laugh as everything vanished before me and it was just me by myself standing on the hill, Winters Breath in hand. Because I had to listen to the elderly elf in the fade: Whether I was alone or not I had to do this because everyone's lives depended on me now.**_

I woke up and for once felt hopeful. I can do this. I walked down to the kitchen where I found all of the others.

"Okay first thing is first- Shiri I am sorry Zevran never told you about me. It was because he actually loved me and that scared him and I asked him to swear to never tell. He was right to tell you though because that means he really does love you. So please stop fighting and take him back because you will never find a better man.

"Zevran thank you for keeping the secret I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, it was wrong and I am so glad you found Shiri." They hugged each other and then me.

"Okay now that that is out of the way we have 2 days to get to Drakon River, which is about how long the travel is. So we have to pack up and get ready for battle because the truth is we are about to face thousands of darkspawn and two arch demons on our own. Are you ready?" They all nodded in turn. "good because we don't have much choice. Get your things together I'll-"

"Lenobia there you are we have to talk!" Morrigan burst in.

"I'll be talking to Morrigan." I said unsurely as they walked off to their rooms. "What is it?"

"They are evil and you…you were…right." She said finally wincing as the words came out.

"What made all this happen?" I asked quickly.

"You are my sister just as I told you that night so I looked closer at the children's behavior and asked more questions and they got defensive even threatening. I'm going to help against the blight." Then slowing down and becoming more like herself she added in her usual tone "even though it will be the death of me."

"Glad to hear it 7 dead bodies are better on a battle field than 6." I said even though we both knew that was completely wrong.

We traveled through the pelting rain and strong winds to the hill I saw at Drakon River.

"Okay this is it. The battle will be when the sun is directly across from this hill."

"that can only be 2 hours away." Bryant said shocked.

"I know. We've not much time and the odds are stacked against us but there is little else we can do."

"Why are you here?" Anelle asked Morrigan but more in a curious way than an irritated way.

"Because I am her sister and this is what sisters do."

"She is right you know. Now let us make out plans. They will all be marching in from over there." I said pointing straight out from the hill.

"A frontal attack, will there be some from behind?" Orin asked strategically.

"No, in the dream it was a frontal attack only, I looked around to make sure."

"how do you know they will stick with what you saw in the dream?" Bryant asked.

"Because they are too full of themselves not to, plus in this weather crossing the river would only slow them down and eliminate troops."

"SO what are the odds, and be truthful." Orin told me and I exchanged a worried glance with Morrigan.

"The odds are not good…at all. We are likely to die within the first 15 minutes of battle."

"That's what I figured." Orin said polishing his sword. I smiled, dwarves never let anything get them down and if they do they sure don't show it.

"But the point is, maybe we will buy time for others to help us, although this is happening so close to Denerim It will probably do no good." I saw frowns on their faces. "The point is we are going to fight as long and hard as we can, we have an unbelievable stock of Lyrium for Morrigan and Myself and an even bigger stock of health poultices and injury kits for all of us." Anelle was a rogue, Orin a berserker and Bryant a warrior. "So we are going to fight as long as we can and even when hope seems loss we are going to keep fighting. No matter what you cannot give up, you cannot simply wish for death because then you are no better than a deserter, no better than someone who doesn't believe the true threat this blight possesses!" I said putting all of my confidence and persuasion and power into my voice and they actually cheered. And in that moment I felt hope. Even though I knew our battle was hopeless.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

"Today we face a great horde of twisted creatures." I told the 6 people standing in front of me. "Today may be the last day for some or all of us, but no matter what we have to try." I said turning to face the horde that was already upon us. I turned back around and with as much power as I could muster yelled "We Must try for Ferelden," Then pointing them in the right direction to charge into added, "For the Grey Wardens!" And Anelle Orin and Bryant took off. Morrigan and I both sent fireballs into the massive horde. She froze a group with blizzard and I concentrated all my energy on calling lightning to create a tempest storm.

When our long range attacks finished out we ran down to join the others. I could feel the elements pulsing through my veins with the Lyrium as I cast Cone of Cold then zapped down five hurlocks with Shock. I downed some Lyrium and took in the troops. How much longer can we keep this up? We are starting to get surrounded. I sent a fire ball flinging into the center where the two arch demons were. I turned around where darkspawn were already forming a circle around me. I cast cone of cold at as many as possible, backing straight into a darkspawn. Their hideous smile was even worse up close. I knew this was my end. I hope the others can defeat this. I drew my last breath to try and cast one more spell when the darkspawn was cut down from behind me at the same time 2 fireballs were shot into the horde. I spun around.

"Leliana!" I exclaimed in relief, then looked to where Morrigan was standing and there was sketch right beside her casting spells. I ran to them,

"Sketch do you need any-"

"Leliana and I stocked up on everything yesterday after we left." he yelled over the Tempest Storm raging with the Inferno not far from us.

"So why did you decide to come?" I asked while sending a blizzard to where the arch demons were commanding everything.

"I told her everyone makes bad choices, she and I should know that." I nodded happy they came and ran off into the thick of the horde. I needed to spread the horde to get to the Arch demon.

Before I knew it a Mabari turned darkspawn was using a shred attack on me. I knew it well since I had just taught it to my Mabari not to long ago. D-O-G was probably using it on some darkspawn now. I kept trying to punch the dog off me but I couldn't get him off me to move my arms enough to cast a spell. I cannot die. I refuse to die. The dog cut up my arm really bad when It was sent flying up into the air and far over the horde. I looked up to see shale, who helped me up,

"Shale behind y-" Before I could finish Oghren cut down the 3 genlocks closing in on Shale from behind. Shale ran off and yelled "Death to all pigeons!" As he helped me slice through the center of the horde. Oghren was beside me chopping down darkspawn like it was nothing as Anelle and Bryant moved in with us.

"Let's show them our heart wardens." Oghren said softly smiling before running into the horde yelling "And then show them theirs!" I smiled, the exact same thing he said before our first blight. I cast mana drain on myself so I could pick up any mana from any dead enemies around me. Then I shot another fireball into the center, which was becoming closer and closer.

Just as the center opened up someone ran in front of me. It looked like a giant when I realized it was Sten. "I am glad to be on the battlefield with you once more Warden." He had yelled running past. As am I, I thought to myself. We could actually win this. The children, or Arch demons, weren't doing anything. No fighting, just silently commanding their troops. Were they still that confident? After I had almost everyone I needed here with me. They must think strength relies on numbers and not skill. We will show them.

I turned around to cast a tempest. Lightning, I call you to strike a hideous threatening- I was interrupted when I saw Orin close to death on the battlefield.

"Orin!" I screamed running towards him. I had to get him a poultice. My healing spell wasn't ready to be used again yet. Just then magic surrounded him, knitting his wounds together and he got up to fight. I looked up to the hill I was originally standing on and there was Wynne. I smiled as she waved to me before casting another healing spell. I have everyone but Alistair now, I thought as I cast a simple earthquake spell to stun the enemies Sketch had just sent an inferno on. We can do this. The horde is thinning.

"The Horde is thinning! Remember our goal here!" I yelled to my Wardens to remind them the Arch demon was priority. They all already knew it was my job to take the blow. Then one of the 5 of them would have to take the final one because they all joined at the same time and Alistair wasn't here. I saw my chance. Zazikel was wide open. I began to run towards him, drinking a Lyrium as I did.

This was it. This is my time to die. I will kill him, he looks weak already, my attacks must have hit him the hardest. I wish I could stop, I don't want to die but such is the price of a grey warden. A simple cold spell should do the trick. I lifted my arms to cast the spell, summoning winter and ice.

"Bryant! No!" I screamed opening my eyes just as I finished the spell. He had taken the blow before my spell reached Zazikel. There was Zazikel's slain body and Bryant's dying one lying side by side. I ran to him. I heard Zazikel whisper "sister the rest, now!" in his last breath. But I couldn't bring myself to bother with wandering what that meant right now.

"Oh, Bryant, why would you do this? I am the Senior Grey Warden. I should be laying here, not you!"

With a last gasping breath he whispered, "No, they need you. Just promise I'll go down a hero."

"You already have." I smiled at him through my tears and watched as he let out his last satisfied breath.

I stood up quickly, thinking darkspawn would be around me but they weren't. My friends had finished off the last of them. But where was Razikale?

"Is that all of them?" Leliana asked.

"No. Where is Razika, I mean Razikale?" Morrigan asked.

"That is what I want to know." Zevran said looking around.

"Razikale! You cannot hide!" I yelled. "I didn't think you would be the type to runaway!" I taunted.

"Oh I haven't." She whispered wordlessly into all the Grey Wardens heads.

"What am I missing here?" Oghren asked eagerly.

"She said she hasn't left." Shiri filled them in.

"The elf is right. Look." Sten gestured to the field just in sight were charging darkspawn, Razikale leading them. It looked like there were even more than before.

"They were reserving them for later!" Sketch said angrily.

"What do we do now?" Wynne, who had joined us at some point, asked almost fearfully.

I couldn't tell them the truth. The truth would be that we die fighting, and ultimately losing the battle. Instead I told them, "WE FIGHT! BRYANT WILL NOT HAVE DIED FOR NOTHING!" It looked like I managed to instill at least a little courage in all of them as we charged and met the darkspawn head on.

There is no way we will make it. They had many more emissary's now. More magic versus 5 warriors, 4 rogues, and 4 mages. We are going to die here. I have no more friends to show up just in time. And we will surely run out of resources and energy before we defeat this horde. I cast a new fireball, and needed more Lyrium. I only have two left, which means everyone has got be getting low on everything.

"How are supplies?" I yelled through the slaughter.

"We're very low, some have only 1 or no poultices. Same for Lyrium." Wynne informed me.

"Hang in there and use them sparingly!" I yelled using cone of cold again. What are we going to do now? What was that? A battle horn? I turned around to the hill by the river just in time to see Alistair yell, "For Ferelden!" as a large amount of militia charged into battle.

"We're saved!" I heard someone, not sure who, yell. And D-O-G barked in agreement. We could actually win now. Alistair was beside me fighting.

"I didn't mean to do what I-"

"I know you didn't. You barely have a hateful bone in your body there is no way you withheld your fiancé from me to hurt me, save this for another time!" I said running forward seeing Razikale disoriented at the new troops.

Now is the time. I will die by taking the blow alone- Share the Glory, Share the Blow. The elf woman's words rang through my head.

"Wardens!" I called gathering their attention. "We must strike Razikale at the same time, trust me!" I started running and saw them follow my lead. We all managed to arrive at the same time. I cast a spell as my other wardens sliced their weapons into her body. Please let this work, please let this-

Everything flashed white and then nothing.

Just darkness and silence.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

"Where am I?" I groan, feeling sore. "Oh no, I'm not dead!" I yell in shock, wanting to cry.

"Um, shouldn't you be happy about that?" Shiri asked from the bed next to me. So she's alive.

"Maybe she really did have a suicide wish." Zevran shrugs lying next to her. Good they have each other, still.

No way! She can't be, I have 50 silvers riding on her still being sane!" Anelle chimed in from across from me.

"heh, pay up Anelle." Orin chuckled from the bed across from me.

"Oh Maker, if you're all alive then Alistair is the one who died." Now what am I going to do? He got killed and there is no one for the throne, Ferelden must already be in Civil war. How can I fix this? What can I-

"No, he isn't." Shiri informed me. I looked around and did not see him.

"But…he is not here…and one Grey Warden always dies." I stated eyeing Morrigan, who had walked into the room a moment ago, suspiciously. What did she do now? Have sex with Orin?

"I know what you are thinking, and there was no man near me the eve of the battle." She rolled her eyes. "Perhaps, when all the wardens strike at once the soul splits into however many pieces and does not kill the Warden since it is divided up. We expected you of all people to know this seeing as how you were the one to order the simultaneous strike." She said tossing Zevran a bandage. "I will not take care of your festering wounds, no matter how injured, do it yourself."

The dream, it was right! "Wait so if he is alive, why isn't he here?" They all looked at me uncomfortably, except for Morrigan, she looked at everyone with annoyance.

"Must I always be the one to tell her these things?" She sighed in an irritated way, "The one you dote upon like a lost puppy-"

"Morrigan you are certainly not the best to tell anyone of anything of this magnitude. Especially when they are recovering from a blight."

"Wynne?"

"Yes, child, it is my friends house. They however were taken in by the Chantry and left the house to me. Good to see you are doing better."

"So where is Alistair?" I asked uneasily, why did none of them want to tell me?

"He is in Denerim preparing for his wedding day." She said softly but surely, the way Wynne always broke news. His wedding? Oh maker, he is marrying Alaena. I hopped out of bed only to fall straight down, my legs not ready to support me yet. Morrigan and Wynne helped me back into bed.

"You need to rest." Wynne told me sternly.

"No, you do not understand. I _need_ to be at that wedding!" None of them ask why. Which is good because I'm not sure I could tell them I planning on being _that _girl. The one who objects the unity of those two under the makers eye. I couldn't let him marry her. What I saw in his eyes the day he told me he was getting married went from love, love for me and for the freedom he was having with me. To hate, hate that he was duty bound maybe even dislike for this new woman. Or maybe I was wrong and it was love for being away from the kingdom and his duty and hate for me. But I don't care because I have to try. Even though its unbelievable that can still say so after everything we've been through I love him.

"alright, lets bandage her up." Wynne said to Morrigan who bandaged me up as Wynne cast healing spells on me.

"I'll be back soon, hopefully." I told them as I walked out the door and made the day's walk to Denerim.

"Hello? Oh its you." A woman whom I've never met said distastefully.

"Do I know you?"

"No, but you will. My name is Alaena, Alistair's fiance. I know you because your all he ever talks about."

"Oh, well, I am told you are to be wed today…"

"Yes in an hour, so go away. You have not been invited. You will never be invited, because I don't like you."

"Excuse me?" I was taken by surprise.

"And do not even think Alistair will invite you anywhere anytime after we get married because as much as he may want to I'm about to run this show."

"Huh, another ruthless bitch. The attraction must run somewhere in the family blood line." I said glaring at her. She rolled her eyes and slammed the door in my face. Looks like I will be sneaking into the wedding.

I walk through the main door at the last second, hoping the guards wouldn't kick me out.

"Ah, warden, glad to see you've arrived, we figured the king would invite you since you have saved our country twice. Can I lead you to your seat?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I have to check on something first and I can find my own way."

"Don't be long, wouldn't want to miss the wedding." He told me shutting the doors and leaving. I stayed hidden in a darkened corner.

"we are here to celebrate this joyous union between his Majesty Alistair and his chosen Queen and love Alaena. Before we begin does anyone have any reason these to should not be wed under the maker and his prophets eyes today?" The revered mother began, and people actually snicker. They are all probably thinking who would intrude on the king's wedding in such a way? I would. I have to. I have to because I love him. And he loves me. The revered mother opens her mouth to begin the next part. I'm out of time.

"I do." I said walking out of the shadows and into the center aisle. No turning back now. I know everyone is staring at me but all I look at is Alistair it helps keep my nerve. I can hear their surprised whispers, and rumors starting but I do not care.

""Alistair, she isn't right for you and you and I both know it. I still love you and as I recall you still love me to, you said you always would. Even though its unbelievable that I can still say so after everything we've been through, I love you. Maybe that's what love is, even. Going through so much together and all the odds of a happy ending, a happy life together, are stacked against you but you love each other anyways. Even if your love is forbidden, you always find a way back to each other. Which, Alistair, if you think about it, that is what we have been doing since we broke up; trying to push each other away but never succeeding. We have both made a lot of mistakes but we have a limited time here and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Remember when I said No one tells a king what to do and you thought I meant have an affair? Well you were wrong I meant we sit down and figure some options out that would make it possible for us to stay together forever. When I told you I would never let you go and would always love you I meant it. And if you mean it too then I guess I'll see you outside the gates." I said and with one pleading look into his eyes I turned on my heel and walked outside the palace, outside Denerim gates and waited.

After a half an hour I figure he isn't coming. Its getting dark, I'm hungry, and I am tired and sore from yesterday's battle. I started walking back to Wynne's thinking about what a fool I am.

"Lenobia, your back, how are you feeling?" Wynne asked me in front of everyone who was now seated at the dinner table.

"Sore, tired, hungry, and let down." I told her honestly as she guided me to a seat at the table.

"So where is the fool?" Morrigan asked.

"He did not return with me."

"What?" Shiri and Zevran gasped in surprise together.

"Why not what happened?" Anelle asked. So I told them, my speech and how I waited for him. And how he never showed.

"Well she sounds like a complete Bitch." Shale stated simply.

"Her and the annoying one would get along well." Sten said expressionless, as though it was a fact. Which made Oghren fall off his chair laughing. I wonder if Sten says these things on purpose and knows what they will do but manages somehow not to show emotion? There was a knock at the door.

"She is a bitch. I actually told her she was a ruthless bitch." I smiled, proud of myself for not holding my tongue.

"Lenobia, someone is here for you." Wynne said from behind me, just returning from answering the door.

I was smiling, "Who is-" I began but when I turned around I didn't need to ask the question. Alistair was standing before me. I got up and walked up to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Perhaps we should give you two some privacy," Wynne suggested.

"And miss this? No way!" Oghren and oddly Zevran, said at the same time. Perhaps the first time they've agreed on anything.

"I wanted to meet you at the gates, but by the time I got out there you weren't there."

'Well, yes, because I had waited for a half an hour. I even walked slowly back here to make sure if you came running after me you could catch up easily. But you didn't." I told him not disguising the hurt in my voice.

"Well, because Alaena went, for lack of a better example, old cat woman crazy and it took five guards to get her out of there. Then I had to deal with Eamon, who completely went off on me, saying now I need to find a new girl It has been almost 2 years and it will be 3 before a child is birthed at the very least. All the usual, then since the nobles were all there he called a lands meet and-"

"Stop, say no more. I understand. I cannot believe didn't think all of that would happen, instead I've spent the rest of the night sure that everything I thought was wrong and you really didn't love me."

"Of course I love you. So now that that's out of the way…" he trailed off arching his eyebrows mischievously. I giggled as he leaned in and, for the first time in a long time, kissed me.

Well of course everyone had to start in on us.

"Wonderful, I think I am going to vomit." Morrigan said un her usual Morrigan-like tone.

"I agree with the swamp witch. For once." Shale agreed with distaste.

"Golem Vomit, that should be interesting!" Orin said sounding way to excited at the aspect of vomit.

"Oh, leave them alone. I think its kind of sweet." Anelle said lovingly.

"Anelle we could become good friends, I think. Do you like shoes?" Leliana asked with interest.

"I love them!" Anelle replied much to giddily.

"Not the shoes!" Sketch groaned as if being tortured.

"This display is inappropriate." That came from none other than Sten.

"OH, really? I find it rather…exciting." Zevran chuckled.

"Zevran!" Shiri giggled chastising him playfully.

"Well I suppose I should set another plate out." Wynne said moving off to the kitchen.

"Heh, the elf may be right on this one." Oghren chuckled much too perversely.

I broke the kiss then, "Oghren, that is just disgusting!" I exclaimed smiling. And everyone erupted into laughter. We were all finally happy.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Epilogue

2 years Later

"Mommy, Mommy!"

"What is it Wisp?" I asked lovingly to my adopted elven daughter who was now 8 years old, we adopted her when she was 6, 2 years ago at the same time we adopted our human son, Bryant, named after the only Grey Warden to fall in that second, unusual Blight. We adopted him when he was 8, 2 years ago, and is now 10 years old and he was running right behind wisp.

"They are all here!" He burst before Wisp could.

"Not fair I wanted to tell her!"

"Tell me what, I didn't hear a word Bryant said." I smiled. "Everyone is almost here!" Wisp burst with excitement. I loved them both very much, though adopting them had not been easy.

"_Why is this lands meet called today?" one of the nobles had asked._

" _I have this lands meet called under the advisement of Arl Eamon." Alistair informed them._

"_As you know two grey wardens cannot have children together," Eamon had began._

"_Yes," A girl noble agreed, "We know. That is why we had such a hard time approving their marriage in the first place."_

"_But the Queen makes a convincing argument, as she has displayed twice now." One of the nicer ones commented fondly._

"_And I am here trying to convince you once again. The pressure has been building on us to come up with a solution for the heir to Alistair's throne. By approving this you already knew that it was very likely the child would not have Alistair's bloodline." I reminded them._

"_Which is why I did not agree to this!" said the old man who was the only one to agree with Loghain at the first Lands Meet I was in._

"_We have come up with an option that will provide us with children, an heir to the throne, and help two children." Alistair said in his very commanding voice. He really was a great king._

"_Please be open minded, you have given them little choice." Eamon cautioned._

"_We plan to adopt two children." Alistair said firmly. The entire room erupted in argument._

"_They will not be of royal blood!" one person yelled._

"_Which you were all aware the chances of that happening were very slim, if any at all." I told them. The only way it would have Alistair's blood is if he got another woman pregnant. No way was I letting that happen… Again._

"_so you plan to take in two orphans off the street? Probably raised by common whores to be thieves!" One exclaimed._

"_Tell me, what does where these children come from matter? You get an heir do you not?" I asked forcefully._

"_An heir that is not royal!"_

"_Already we are paving the way for differences, we have allowed a non noble woman to be named queen. Obviously this means there will have to be changes made at least for the time being." The woman stood up for us._

"_But these children could-"_

"_Could become great rulers." I finished for him. "What does it matter where they are born? It only matters how they are raised. Alistair and I are more than capable of finding two good children and raising them to be royalty." I persuaded._

"_It is true, look at how she acts already. Defending her country, and her home." A nobleman agreed._

"_As well as her husbands throne and her family." Another agreed._

In the end we got to get our two children. They were nameless when we got them and had been ignored. We took them in and raised them properly and we love them very much. Just as they love us. They were not born related but they do not even mind that, they are as much siblings as any. They are both old enough to remember what they went through but I know that they choose to be who they are. They both try greatly to forget their former lives, claiming to be born at the ages they were when we adopted them. The lands meet of course was not happy that one was an elf and should her brother die, an elf would be on the throne, but I convinced them she would be fit to rule just as I, a mage, Is fit to rule.

Just then Wisp and Bryant ran away because Lathaya had arrived. Shiri and Zevran following right behind their 8 year old daughter. Lathaya was adopted a year ago after Shiri and Zevran married. She was also an elf and already very beautiful.

"It is so good to see you again!" Shiri said hugging me.

"I know! We need to get together more often. Did you travel with Anelle and Orin?"

"They are right behind us." Zevran said, walking off with their luggage to go unpack.

"Lenobia!"

"Anelle! Orin! SO glad you made it. Your room is just across from Shiri and Zevran, Anelle. And Orin yours is down the hall and to the left." They nodded. They took care of most Warden business at soldiers peak now.

"There are pigeons outside of its castle. I could squash them if you wanted."

"thank you shale, but a bloody castle doesn't look good to passersby." Shale headed off to the room we had built especially for her. The day we showed her she was ecstatic. Shale has been rebuilding old Thaigs and restoring the deep roads.

"Ah, warden, there you are. So me and Felsi get our own room right?" He asked chuckling.

"You are drunk."

"When isn't he?" a newly married felsi asked walking in with the luggage.

"Your room is the first one right there." I directed them. "Sten?" I called to the giant in my doorway.

"You sound surprised to see me." He said plainly.

"I was wondering if you would show up, so I hear you are famous now." I smiled.

"yes, everyone in my homeland loves cookies. I am highly regarded."

"Great, your room is next to Shale's." I pointed him in the right direction, smiling at his good fortune.

"Lenobia!"

"Leliana!" We shouted laughing as we ran to hug each other.

"Where is he?" I asked eagerly.

"Right here." Sketch said showing me their baby.

"Hi there little Tug." I cooed. Leliana and Sketch were already married in Orlais a detail they left out for too long and had their baby last year. it is a baby boy and they named him Tug in honor of their friend and bard who died protecting Sketch after Marjolaine's betrayal.

"We put a crib in the last room on the left for him." I smiled as they walked away.

Wynne walked in, "The usual room?" She asked. I nodded. She visited often since she was now the second mage to be let in and out of the tower freely.

"Morrigan!" I hugged her. "And hello there Fagan." I said to the two year old boy who was the spitting image of Morrigan's partner Radborne. Not husband, they were both apostates who agreed marriage was an unnecessary tie to one another. Like enslavement.

"Where is Wisp and Bryant?" Radborne asked. He was sweet. Not someone I would picture Morrigan with but he was very sarcastic as well.

"Oh, Fagan probably wants to go play, Wisp, Bryant, and Lathaya are in the courtyard." Fagan, their 2 year old son, ran off as soon as I said it. It would seem Morrigan was pregnant during the blight we faced and did not realize it. It could have been fatal to the baby and we all have watched him closely but he shows no signs of being a demon or possessed in any way. It would seem the spirit only broke up into enough parts for the grey wardens, thankfully.

"Good to see you again Sister." Morrigan said hugging me before taking Radborne's hand and walking to their room.

Cullen and Ashrylen couldn't join us because she is too pregnant to make the trip.

Everyone was here and everyone was happy. Even D-O-G my faithful Mabari, who loved my children dearly.

Just as I loved my extended family. And luckily, since Alistair and I have a while left on this earth and adopted older children we will be around to guide them and to prepare them for battle.

Because we are always on arms and ready after all Sten predicts it won't be too long before the Qunari invade Ferelden…

The End.


End file.
